The Way It Ends

41. Promises

I know I'm late I'm sorry! I kind of at a writers block because I don't want to rush but I don't want extend it either! We're getting near the end so just bare with me here hahaha
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It was later in the afternoon when Meredith woke up to an empty bed, laying on her stomach. Last time she was conscious, she was laying on top of Derek. The safest place she knew. Even when she was with Tom, and laying on top of him as soon as she dozed off, some part of her brain let her believe she was on top of Derek and for that reason, she slept like a baby. Her eyes still closed, she reached out to Derek's spot only to be left disappointed. Her eyes flew open and she propped herself up on her two hands abruptly. "Derek?" She asked, her voice sounding weak and scared. When she didn't hear anyone reply she turned to look around in the trailer, wrapping the duvet around her and crawling up in a ball. Her knees close to her chest. Not even trying to keep her sobs in. They just flowed like river, down her cheeks. Her body trembling. Her sniffles came after as she buried her face into her knees. All she could think about is that he left her when all of a sudden she heard the door open. Her head flew up and saw Derek come in with a freshly caught fish, "Derek?" Her voice sounded weaker than before. Her eyes red and her face puffy. She didn't even notice she was crying so much. "Meredith-!" He rushed over to her immediately and wrapped his hand around her not giving a damn about him smelling like fish. As his warm embrace wrapped around her she felt another wave of tears threatening to flow out of her eyes. "Meredith honey, what's wrong?" He asked, rubbing her shoulder. "I thought you left me," her voice lower than ever. He was just able to catch some words, "I- I woke up and you weren't there and I freaked, I'm sorry," her hands traveled up around his neck, her face buried into his chest. Derek sat there in silence, letting out all her bubbled up emotions before he talked to her again. As he felt her breathing calm down, he pulled her off of him and cupped her cheeks, "I'm right here, I never left. I just went and grabbed us something for dinner. Well caught," he gave her this proud smirk. It made her giggle which warmed his heart even more. "I'm sorry I overreacted," she stated. She really hated depending on someone. Her mother was never around so she practically raised herself. Not having the need to depend on anyone. But ever since Derek... ever since he stepped into her life, all she can think about is waking up cuddled next to him in the morning because without it she felt like she couldn't breathe. Which again she thought was stupid. "Don't ever say you're sorry about something like this. I should've left a note," his thumbs wiped her tears that were trying to roll down her cheeks. Meredith closed her eyes, her hands griping his wrists tight as she took a deep breath, "This is so stupid. Why am I crying?" Meredith try to force a laugh but it's sounded more like a groan. Derek smiled at her lightly, "I mean I was perfectly fine without you. Starting from when I was captured to you leaving and me being with Tom. But I- when I woke up... and you weren't there it just... never mind," she shook her head and removed his hands off her cheeks. He didn't need to worry about her more than he already did. She gave up on acting tough  around him but at least she can spare some of the baggage she came with. "Meredith no secrets remember?" He stroked her left arm up and down, moving up to her cheeks again, "Tell me," he encouraged her. His warm hand made her lean into his touch even more. She never really noticed how much she missed his hand on her cheeks. It wasn't too much of a physical contact but if it's the right person, it can be and feel so much more. "It's just... after I...," she struggled to talk. It's been something that she had carried all on her for all this time. Derek pulled her in for a hug, letting her know there's nothing to be scared off. Whatever it is, he is here. "You know I used to have these dreams of you and Finn," she breathed into his neck. Derek squeezed her harder as he recalled her waking up screaming all those months ago, "They came back after you left and I met Tom. First Finn came in and then you, shaking your head in disappointment, telling me how much of a whore I am," sobs came over her once again, "And this morning... it- it felt so much like it and... and I couldn't help it think that... my dream was coming true and I- I just lost it," her tears socked the collar of his shirt as she let out all her tears. "Oh Mer," he breathed into her hair. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to say. He knew asking her if she's still seeing her therapist was the worst possible choice of words. "Let's make some promises," he said into her hair as he held her close.
"Promises?" She asked not able to pull away from him. His body pressed against her was like a hug from a huge teddy bear. She felt safe and peaceful. "Yes promises," he gave a quick kiss on the top of her head, "Whatever happens between us, we will always show up. If we are in a big fight we call timeout to check on each other. No one leaves, no matter what," he has now cupped her cheeks and stared into the teary green eyes, "And we talk and we listen to each other. Communication is very important if we want this to work. I don't want to lose you again," he whispered kissing her lips softly. Meredith sniffled as her tears slowly disappeared and a light smile was seen on her face, "I don't want lose you either. I dreamt about life without you and it was dreadful," Meredith shook her head chuckling a little. Derek was smiling ear to ear as he heard her cheer up. She loved her laughter. It was calming and welcoming. He always wondered how people didn't become weak in their knees when they heard it. "Good because I can't even imagine a life without you, I don't even want to," he pulled her closer, closing the gap between them as their lips pressed against each other. Derek locked her lips, sliding his tongue in and exploring her mouth. Meredith moaned his name as their tongues waged in each other's mouth. His hand brushed through her hair his other pulling her close by the waist. Even blind people would be able to feel the spark and ecstasy that was sparkling off of them. He pulled away pecking her lips once more and sighed happily, "Want to help me with dinner?" He asked. Meredith giggled and opened her eyes for the first time, "You trust me enough to not burn your trailer down?" She asked. Derek pulled her close again, "More reason for me to move in with you," he said against her lips. His heart froze a bit, thinking about Meredith's next move. He might've gone too far. She probably isn't even ready. Not even a day together and he screwed up.