The Way It Ends

43. Being there

Meredith and Derek woke up early the next day. They both groaned as the sound of the alarm rang in their ears. "Turn it off! God TURN IT OFF!" Meredith screamed into the pillow. Derek grunted and turned slowly to shut the alarmingly annoying sound off. He turned back around and pulled Meredith close to his chest, "Morning," he said in his raspy morning voice, "How did you sleep?" He asked kissing her neck from behind.

Meredith still had her eyes closed, unable to open them, "I had better nights," she said softly.

"I'm sorry baby," he tucked the hair away from her cheeks and kissed her.

A smile occurred on her lips, "Mhm please, continue," she murmured.

Derek let out a light chuckle and continued to kiss her. He started from her temple, he moved down under her eye. A cold rush overtook her body as all the hair on her body stood up. She turned on her back, for him to have a better access. He kissed her nose which made her giggle a little. His lips moved to her cheekbone then down to her earlobe. He caught it in between his teeth and tugging on it a little, making Meredith moan his name. He was breathing over her lips, her eyes closed, waiting for him to kiss her, smiling. His lips met the side of hers. Then the other side. Until he finally closed the gap between them. He kissed her softly at first. Letting her get used to his movements. She parts her lips giving him the opportunity to slide his tongue in. They interlock as his body moved over hers.

"On a scale of one to ten," he said between kisses, "How bad is it?" He asked continuing to kiss her passionately.

"A nine," she whispered, her eyes still closed.

Derek tucked his hand under her and pulled her over him, "How about now?" He tucked her hair behind her ears and kissed her again.

"Probably an eight," she murmured against his lips.

They stayed there as long as they could before they had to get up and get dressed. Derek let her get a shower before he went and made breakfast. He has no idea how she was feeling. He knows she's going through so much more then she lets everyone see. The night they went back to the bunk was mortifying for him. He can only imagine what Meredith is feeling.

She has stayed tough through all of this. But he has slowly come to realise that it is all hitting her.

When she got back after three months she was still in shock and worried for Derek's life. She had no time to comprehend what actually happened to her. She went to therapy but apparently that didn't help her in any way. Then he left her. Which was the biggest mistake of his life. Some part of him knew she wasn't okay. That she wasn't one hundred percent. But he still left and for that... he can never forgive himself.

But now that he is back, his first priority is her. She calls he jumps. He'll even walk out of a surgery and let someone take over if it meant he would be there for Meredith. She needed him more then ever. And he is not going to screw it up this time.

He'll go to therapy with her. He knows how stubborn she gets and she will fight him. But he's not going to give in. She needs him there even if she can't see it yet. If he was in therapy, after the trauma she experienced, he would need her there too.

She doesn't need him telling her she can't live without him. Because she can. He is very aware of that. It's the matter of not wanting to live without one another. Nobody needs to be with someone. Nobody needs to fall in love. But it's the feeling that someone gets when they do. When they know they have someone by their sides no matter what. That someone is willing to die for them if it meant they lived. Life is easier when you have someone. Someone to depend on.

Sure it can get really crappy if the one person that you trusted the most in the world betrayed you. But Derek wasn't going to do that, ever. He's in this. He's very committed to this. And Meredith is not running away from him however hard she tries.

He was finishing up her breakfast when he saw her come out if his bathroom. Already dressed for work.

"How was the shower?" He smiled at her warmly, placing her french toast before her.

"Warm," she replied, trying to give him a smile but failing.

Derek ignored her lack of speech and decided to somehow take her mind off of things, "So uhm, who's service are you on today?"

"Dr Robbins," she replied.

"Any exciting cases?"

"No," she shook her head, taking a bite out of her toast with a grimace on her face.

"Is there something wrong with it?" He asked worried.

"No there's nothing wrong with it. I- I just... I don't have a huge appetite right now. I'm not that hungry Derek," she looked up at him for the first time.

Her eyes were red and puffy. She was crying. Crying in the shower and trying to hide it from him. He went over to her and pulled her in his arms.

"Okay," he whispered, kissing the top of her head. Her freshly washed, lavender scented hair.

Meredith knew exactly why he was sweeping her up in his arms. As much as she hates the pity, she felt comfortable in his arms. Safe, as always.

"I know you don't want to hear this right now," he started in a low deep voice, "but we should make an appointment with the therapist," he said, closing his eyes and waiting for the ball to drop. Waiting for her screaming. Her fighting against all of this.

But it never came. She stayed in the same position, slightly nodding her head, "Yeah," she said almost inaudibly.

"Yeah," he repeated, pulling her tighter to him.

It was moments like these they cherished the most. Being together, cuddled up. Safe in each other's arms. Meredith had her head laid against his chest as he rested his cheeks on her head. Breathing in the intoxicating smell of her lavender shampoo. It was his favourite smell.

No it wasn't a smell, it was a scent. Her wonderful scent that floated around her. He didn't need to be close to her to be able to whiff out her scent as she passed by him somewhere.

Even her giggles were contagious. He could never get enough of it. And he has come to realise he can't sleep without her snoring either. Sure it was annoying but it's also calming. And a huge relief to know that she's asleep, peacefully. Sometimes he can see a small smile on her lips. It's adorable and makes him love her that much more.

If he could he would hold her forever. Hold her all day until they fell asleep. One might think it would get boring and annoying being trapped with the same person for so long. But Derek just couldn't get enough of her. Somehow she came with new surprises everyday. Something that was just breathtaking.

When he found out who she really was, he was lost of words. Not because he thought she was a disappointment. How did a pretty, smart girl like her get caught up in a mess like that? That was not at all what he thought. He was just amazed. She got through college and med school and now was a surgical resident all while a mad man was on her tail 24/7.

At any moment he could've barged into her room and ruin her life forever, or even end it. And with that thought nagging every second, she got through it and came out stronger then ever. Got through all this all alone. That alone was huge for him and somehow she still came with surprises.

But now she wasn't alone. She doesn't need to go through this alone. Not that she wouldn't be able to, because she could. It's because no one ever needs to. She has him now. And he will be there for her when she wants to curl up into a ball and not talk to anyone, just cry. He will be there to hold her. To get her everything she needs. Because she deserves everything.

If he could he would change lives with her but he can't so he's going to give her all the love he has for her.

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So uhm here's this chapter filler. I hope you liked it. Its not much but it's what i have for now. Idk how i will continue but ill figure something out.

Thank you all for your support and patients!❤️