𝑷𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝑪𝒖𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒔

𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙉𝙞𝙣𝙚

𝑮𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒕𝒉
A͜͡z͜͡a͜͡d͜͡e͜͡
It is said that growth is the process of growing. As we grow we change form, more like we evolve into something new. Our growth process differs from person to person. I might grow fast or slower than the person next to me. As we grow we slowly become the shadows of who we are now. What I'm trying to say is I'm not the same Azade that I was a few months ago. Everytime I look in the mirror I look at the stranger I've become and I can't help but question where did I lose myself? What went wrong? I mean the plan was chase the bag and make the rents proud but looking at me now is a girl who did chase the bag, did make the rents proud but did disappoint at the same time. Maybe if I had not went to that interview my life wouldn't be what it has become. Don't get me wrong as much as being pregnant has changed my life drastically I don't regret nor blame my baby as he or she is innocent in this whole ordeal. I blame myself for being a fool, for trusting so much and for not knowing my worth. If I knew my worth back then I wouldn't have taken that job offer but then again baggers can't be choosers.

Today was my day off and I was going to the doctor for my first ever ultrasound. Ewe ewe ever since I've been pregnant I haven't been to the doctor, why? Well I'm lazy and I haven't been getting any morning sickness so why waste money and I've been busy wethu. I was wearing a white t-shirt and a pleated cheetah print skirt, my leather jacket and some ankle boots and my hair was in a low bun. Tyhiini umhle umaka star bethuna. After I had finished preparing myself mentally and physically I requested an Uber. As soon as it arrived I got in and on the way I was in a pool of mixed emotions. I was scared and excited at the same time. Questioning myself, will I be able to raise a human, a whole imuntu? Will I be a good mother? Yhoo saze sszenza sibancane nkosh!

Arriving at the private hospital perks of working for Lilly I paid the Uber and went on my way. Have you ever had those creepy feelings when going to a hospital no I don't fear hospitals I just don't like them. Hee this makes me remember a time where Vela was beaten up by an angry wife who found Vela with her husband yhooo as much as my friend was in a mish mish that situation left me in snitches kaloku the woman did not just beat Vela she did the same to her husband and that right there was a Kween in my eyes.  Ever since that day Vela was coitious of what type of clients she took in.

Getting to the reception I greeted the lady who responded with a polite smile and I gave my details and she told me to wait as the doctor would be with me shortly. I didn't even wait that much before a lady in blue uniform and a lab coat whom looked oddly familiar to me as if I've seen her somewhere. Her walks oozed with grace and she had a smile on her beautiful face. Damn why am I straight? Bringing me back from day dreaming was someone clearing their throat and when I looked up she  said "Good day my name is Thuli Mavuso, Dr Mavuso for short and I take it you are miss Azade Nzimande, yes?" Blushing slightly I replied and said " yes that's me doc nice to meet you" she smiled, I swear as soon as I give birth I'm playing for the other team, she spoke and  said  "nice to meet you too miss Nzimande so follow me love so we can get to know each other more."

Walking into her office it was covered with pictures of smiling mother's to be with their spouses and I couldn't help the pang I felt in my heart damn that could've been me but here I am a single mother to be.  Dr Mavuso gestured for me to sit down and I did and she asked " so miss Nzimande it is said this is your first appointment ever mind if I ask why?" Taking a deep breath I said " The thing is Doc this pregnancy came as a surprise to me and I had to come to terms with it I mean it came at a time where in my life I was starting to finally do something for me and it changed everything." She looked at me with a sad smile and said "ok I get you like it was the same for me but look at me now a doctor, a mother and a wife so being pregnant is not the end ok? And if I may ask aren't you the girl who was all over the news with Nkosinathi Ndlovu? I know I'm overstepping but I can't help my curiosity." Here we go again why is it that everywhere I go I'm linked to the Ndlovu's  Argh ! Looking at her I said 'yep that was me and before you ask yes the baby daddy is Nkosinathi but please can we keep this between us and just not mention the Ndlovu's njee?" She sheepishly smiled and said "fine by me and can we be friends please?" I was shocked but hey what harm could be done " ok we can try being friends".