44| Tears of Gold

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~Tora~


The quiet shuffling and near-deafening beeping is what brought me out of my deep sleep. One second a man in armor is fighting demons in front of me and the next I'm in a dim room with my brain feeling like it's ten seconds away from cracking out of my skull.

The dim yellow lighting helps to some degree as I blink away the tears from what felt like the longest nap of my life. Yet I feel so unenergized and sluggish that I can barely do anything other than force my chest to take in air and contract with each breath. I can't raise my arms for some reason, so it's hard to see until the blurry fog from the tears clears up.

I'm surprised to find Hugo first, his head tilted back in an uncomfortable way on one side of the plastic hospital couch. His snores filling some of the tension in the space lingering in the air. Micah curled up her legs to her belly, her long flowy hair draping over Casper's jacket which she used as a pillow with a thin hospital sheet thrown over her.

Then there was the man wearing a track in the hospital tile with his oval pacing pattern. I could feel Casper's activated panic mode from here with each stride only adding to his stress instead of alleviating any of it. His shoulders sag from the weight of something not yet said, his knuckles looking cut up and bruised as he cupped his stubbled chin. His dark wavy brown hair forming slight curls at the edges from going maybe a day or two too long without showering.

I've never seen Casper look this serious.

And I've also never felt so incomplete.

Galen's missing presence is obvious and I can't even feel his wavelengths in the span of our link. Where is he? Why isn't he here? Why is he so far out of reach?

Galen...

There's a sudden chill in the air as the memories come back in steady waves like I snapped my fingers and asked to be tortured by the pictures of Galen on top of me. My body aching for him, but my mind rejecting him.

I wanted to scream, I want to throw up, I might have a heart attack. Sucking in a deep breath that gets harder by the second, I squeeze my eyes shut knowing deep down that wasn't Galen. At least, it wasn't the Galen I love. Not my giant softie.

He said he would never hurt me, but he did.

And that's okay.

Not everyone with the best intentions can keep their promises.

And it's fine.

It's all fine.

I'm okay.

I'm alive.

I'm breathing.

I can do this.

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