Crimson Summer || Book Two

90| Without You

~Tora~ 

Anxiety riddled the room as we waited for our husbands to come home. A simple text from Galen saying they were on their way after nearly seventeen hours in the town of Reneu fighting the fire that had spread from the small town to the forest. 

I tapped my fingers on the kitchen counter, Adira and her daughter had joined us, helping take care of Wei and Alex while Micah and I were dead to the world. A fuzzy static filling my very being that is barely diminished by any amount of medication I take. 

Micah sat at the counter instead of standing like I did, crossing her fingers together as she pressed her hands to her forehead in silent prayer. 

But I already know her prayers won't work. 

Something is wrong. 

And the gods can't help us now. 

Ryu sits a chair away from Micah with his hands folded on his lap as he stared at the marble and traced the individual colors in the slab as if that would help. Jace's husband Avery cradles their newborn son in his arms. Clinging to him like he might just be the last connection he has to his mother.

"Something's wrong," Avery whimpers slightly as he rubs his heart and I nod, feeling it too. Uneasy until the front door opens and we quickly stand up and rush to the doorway.

But only Galen and Beckett stand before us.

The darkness that settles over Galen's face says it all as I hold onto the doorway for support. 

"Where is Casper?"  I ask and it's the moment. 

That split second of quiet naivety that glues you together before you shatter. 

"Casper and Jace ran back into the building to save the last child before the building collapsed on them. We've been searching through the rubble for hours and can't find them. They're looking for their bodies now," 

"No," 

I wheeze through my own teeth as the oxygen escapes my lungs and I grab hold of Galen with all the force I have left in me. Attacking his shocked body like it's done me a horrific wrong by leaving our mate behind as I thrashed him back and forth. Micah faints as Beckett catches her, but I'm in denial, unconvinced that Cas could leave my life this easily. 

"Go get him! GO BRING OUR BABY BACK!" I scream as my tears escape and he holds my shoulders still with his watery eyes crystal clear as he opens his mouth but remains unable to speak. 

"BRING HIM BACK HOME! GO GET HIM! HE'S ALL ALONE AND YOU KNOW HE CAN'T BE ALONE FOR TOO LONG!" I scream at him in my delirium as Galen presses his forehead to mine and together we fall. 

***

~Gael~ 

I've never heard a silence this loud. 

Casper's small apartment remains untouched from the final morning we were here and it no longer holds that loving warmth that once shrouded me. The floor creaks with every step I take echoing back to me.

"Okay but on a serious note, if I do die. You'll be okay right? You'll hold down the fort?"

"I'll try,"
"Trying's not good enough,"
"Well after you die nothing replaces you so it will never be good enough," 

His words come back to me as I walk with one purpose in mind, wafting through his wardrobe to find the hoodie he was hiding from me. I rip it down so fast that the hanger it was once dangling from snaps in half as I pull it close to my face and bathe in his sweet woodsy scent. 

"I'm serious Cas, don't leave me,"

"I won't,"
"Promise?"
"Promise,"

It's been four days since they started the search and hope was fading. I can't go back there, no, not after everything. 

His broken promise has left me destroyed in numerous ways but the loss of his warm scent is a different kind of broken. Inexplicable shattered beyond the brink of ever being repaired to the man I once was. 

"You only call me Gael when you want to get on my good side,"
"That's not true,"
"History says otherwise,"
"I call you Gael all the time,"
"Never,"
"Gael,"
"Stop that,"

I have no tears left to cry as I sit on the edge of the bed, grabbing his pillow as I put his hoodie over it and hold it close to me. 

"Why are you wearing my hoodie again? I literally got you the same one already," 

"Yeah but it's not red,"
"You don't even like red, you're favorite color is light blue,"
"And you got it for me in gray,"
"Well, they didn't have it in blue,"
"It's also not yours,"

I smile for the first time this week as I hold his memory close, praying I could go back to that glorious time when he was alive, happy, and mine. 

"And I was thinking while I'm off for so long, I want to try to have your baby,"

The memory comes back and my body goes rigid as I slowly glance over to the bathroom where the door had been left wide open after the two of us left without thinking twice. 

And only one of us returned. 

I force myself to get up, lowering the hooded pillow to my side as I make my way over to the bathroom, standing at the open door where the test was still on the sink, a small blue light flashing to show it was ready. 

My eyes catch sight of the man in the mirror and I hardly recognize him. My skin had lightened, my eyes swelled, my face caved in, my beard unruly, my hair a different kind of disaster. I look away before I get too caught up in it, taking the test with my hand shaking as I press the small white button revealing the positive result. 

Suddenly the cool tiled floor felt like a grand escape from the cruel reality I was forced to live in. 

I didn't know I fainted until I was brutally awoken by Tora's harsh throttling of my body. 

"Galen, Galen wake up! Wake up, honey!" Tora cries and I groan as I slowly find my panicked husband in the light and hum. 

I wish he found me later or at least left me here to die at this unbearable point. 

"It's Casper, the found him hon, they found our Casper,"