Unlovable

Chapter 1

The alarm went off and I rolled over, sliding my phone open to turn the alarm off and let my music resume playing in my ears. I slept with my music on every single night. I'm not really sure why. It's just a habit that I can't manage to break. I rolled over to see Anne looking slighty groggy.
"Good morning"
"Heeeeeeyyy" I replied, feeling far too energised for first thing in the morning.
I had been in the same dorm room with Anne for about a year. I was halfway through my second year of studying in Seoul. I love it here. It's so beautiful and there's never a dull moment! I remember the day I was selected to be one of the transfer students from my school in small little Ireland. I immediately knew where I wanted to go. And fortunately the option was open! Nobody could understand my craving to go to Korea, but nobody knew my love for the culture, the language (which I had been in the process of learning) and the music. Kpop in particular.
I don't know how it started. Probably by falling into the vortex of watching endless YouTube videos which I did far too often. But I came across Sherlock by SHINee and a fangirl inside of me which I never knew existed, came to life. I was late to the Shawol family, which actually ended up being extremely enjoyable. It meant I could binge watch every one of their music videos, which was extremely enjoyable. And the more and more I became infatuated with them, the more and more my desire to learn Korean grew. So I just made the decision to do it. I began with learning the odd word here and there,then learning to translate their songs by ear, then by reading books and FINALLY I was able to read Jongyhun's instagram and twitter posts! It took a lot of work but I made it!

My fellow students at my college when I moved to Korea all spoke English extremely well,which I honestly did not expect. But I suppose, they didn't expect me to speak fluent Korean either.

I moved and began to take classes in Performing Arts, English, Korean and Spanish. I loved it immediately and when I met Hun Filyo I loved him. After a few months of being here, he confessed to me and begged me to stay, which I did. I didn't really have much to loose. I didn't have much family back in Ireland and not any close friends. I felt at home here. So I stayed.
I met Anne through Filyo and we clicked instantly. Thankfully she coached me through the dark times. Filyo became unexpectedly violent and controlling. It was hard to finally end something that seemed too short to have been as deep as it was. But I managed to get through it. With Anne by my side.

So here we are now. It's 6:30am on a Wednesday morning and I'm getting dressed for Performing Arts class and then there is a lunch for all the language students to attend, to give them experience in speaking the language they are learning.

And me? Well I'm average height, slim but with more booty and boobs than average, which I try to hide but it never seems to work, golden red hair that is neither ginger or brown down to my bum (and yes it is a nuisance), green eyes that I think are too big for my face and small,but cute lips. When I first arrived here, I was overwhelmed by the amount of compliments my eyes got. "Wow your eyes are so beautiful"
"She has double eye lids"
I think sometimes they didn't realise I spoke Korean, but I didn't mind as I knew what they were saying.

I forced myself out of bed and began to get ready. It was a super warm day today so I picked out a long, light and flowing vest top to go with light blue denim shorts and gladiator style sandals. I grabbed my baby pink oversized cardigan and my brown satchel which never left my side and began to make sure I had everything. I turned back to mirror to focus on my hair and makeup. I used to always have a fringe but I realised how much lazier I can be without it. I have layers in my hair now, which makes the natural curl in my hair work amazingly and it means I don't have to use heat on my hair unless my kinks at the front are being naughty. I reached for my makeup. My foundation is literally the shade 001 because I'm so pale. I hate it. Anne is mystified by it and always asks how I keep so pale. Truth is, I try not to. I do try to tan but even my tan is pale. Damn my Irish roots. I went for my everyday natural makeup, which is natural skin with a little blush to give a healthy glow, lightly filling in my eyebrows (which are brown due to me awkwardly coloured hair that apparently can't decide on it's shade), doing a little liquid eyeliner with a little flick, which is my signature and using mascara. My eyelashes are that awkwardly long length where I have to tilt my head right back when putting mascara on or it will literally go on my eyebrow because my eyelashes like to be that length apparently. I apply a clear lip balm and head out. I take my phone out of my satchel and begin blasting my music. I had it on shuffle and my beloved Taemin comes on with Danger. I walk to the beat, bopping and wiggling my hips as I go and I can't help but slightly dance along. I don't know why I know the dances to their songs, I really don't.
I reach my class after my morning rave with myself, disappointed that it couldn't last longer and walk into my Performing Arts class.