Unlovable

Chapter 5

Anne  came through the door,  and I watched her in the mirror I was facing.

"Jeepers Jess, why did you come to these restrooms?"

I stood looking at her as if she was from another planet.

"Uhh - because I didn't want to go the whole way back to the dorms to check if I had lipstick on my teeth?" I said, still confused.

"You're so silly, there are restrooms by the edges of the bar."

"Bar?" I guess I forgot to actually look at the other wall.

"Yeah, come on, I'll show you."

I followed Anne out of the bathrooms. The first thing that caught my eye, on the levels, past the chairs, situated at the far wall was a  cute pub style bar. On either side of the bar there were two doors, I assumed were the restroom doors. But what really caught my eye was in the two corners were two rustic, black metal staircases. I followed them with my eyes to see a level that was above the whole seating area, with railings for you to lean on and watch the dancing crowd and the stage I assumed. It was only then I realised that the roof was exceptionally high.

How did I miss that? Seriously, I knew you weren't observant, but this is a new level for you.

"Come on, they're starting to seat everyone."

I followed Anne to our table. We were sat at the table DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THE HOST'S TABLE. 

Are you kidding me?

The worst part was, we had our names on  little plaques where we were seated, and of course I had the one seat, out of the whole table that was directly facing the hosts. And the chairs were layed out so you weren't facing anyone, you were facing a gap in between two people's shoulders.

I hate this.

I begged Anne to  switch seats with me, but she explained that her uncle would be sitting beside her. In fairness, the only thing that could be worse for me than facing the hosts for the meal, would be having to listen to everything twice the whole way through the meal, in two different ears. So I let Anne stay on my right, as I made small talk with the innocent looking older lady who sat next to me, with the little English she knew.

I also felt completely awkward about the fact that even though this was a party for people around our age or a little older, that Anne and I got seated at the table with all of the more mature attendents.

I mentally scolded myself for being so ungreatful, and waited for the waitress who was making her way around the table to take my choice. There were three options for starter, three for the main and three for the desert. I don't really like seafood, and I definitely did not want seafood breath so for the starter I went for the avocado dish, and for main I chose the grilled chicken and roasted vegetables, obviously , and for desert I was torn between the white chocolate and raspberry brownies and the lemon cheesecake, but luckily so was Anne, so I chose the white chocolate and raspberry brownies and Anne chose the lemon cheesecake and we decided we would split them in half when the arrived and put half onto eachothers plate. Luckily both of us prefer icecream to whippped cream, so we didn't need to worry about the cream-of-choice effecting our deserts.

"Anne"

"Yeah?"

"Who are the hosts?"

"I don't know!" She said,  realising that I was only asking as they were starting to bring out the appetisers.

"Well whoever they are, they're late" I scoffed. "It's making me anxious. I'm going to have to stare at them for all I know"

Anne laughed, thinking I was intending to be purposely funny.

"I'm not kidding." I urged her.

"Relax, Jess. It's no big deal."

I nodded in return while my starter was placed  in front of me. I was very interested in eating it. I am also a very slow eater, and this was not helped by the tiny bites I took since I have a particularly small mouth. In between each bite I swallowed, I serenaded Anne as I sang along with Suit and Tie, which I was completely exaggerating. Everybody in the room was very animated, so it went unnoticed. I was at the end of my meal, and I had that amount of food on my plate, which I could easily pick up but I knew I wasn't going to be able to fit in my mouth, you know that piece that always challenges you, to see if you'll turn it into two small bites that you probably won't have to chew they'll be that small, or take it in one.

Well as I was feeling rather hyper, I decided just to to for it, and I was very proud of myself when I managed to compress it into my mouth. I covered my mouth as my cheeks were puffed out like a chipmunk and I chewed and looked down at my plate. I was about half way through eating the piece and swalled another section, leaving me with one more small section to finish chewing and swallow, when Anne turns to me and says;

"Jessica,"

"Mffmh?"

"You do realise that the hosts have been sitting there for the last two minutes. I'm pretty sure they watched you do that."

"Mfffmmmph!" this was my attempt at saying "Oh don't be silly" with my mouth slightly full as I rolled my eyes and shook my head lightly, while swallowing my final piece. As  I did this, my eyes rolled in the direction of the hosts and I immediately choked on my food. 

If it had been anyone else, anyone else, I would have spat the food out, but I couldn't. Not now that I realised SHINee were sitting watching me. 

Anne patted me on the back while I tried to gather myself.

Why why why why why was all I could think to myself.

I looked up trying to take in the seating arrangements. From left to right it was Taemin, Key, Onew(Who was directly in front of me), Jongyhun, Minho. As I tried to take it in I also took in each of their expressions. Taemin was doing that little cutie wide eyed expression he does when he's concentrating on something, Key was giving me that "oh I just saw you do that, so don't even try to deny it" look which actaually made me want to be sick. Jongyhun was smirking at me.

STOP THAT.  It's not fair. Smirks make me nervous.

Minho was just looking at me blankly, with his elbows on the table and hands together, chin resting on his thumbs and his fingers infront of his mouth.

And Onew. Well, he was looking at me, looking away, looking down at his hands, al around the room, back to me, at the ceiling, and so on and so forth

Normally I would chuckle at how cute he is when he's acting awkward, but after knowing what they just witnessed me do, I was too busy panicking.

Okay so tonight was going to be much longer that I thought.