Cold (part 3)

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A small child holding tightly onto a wooden sword trotted across the fields of snow. The kid gave one last look at his house to see his older brothers play-acting with real swords made out of iron. The kid frowned as he continued walking away from them with a pit of jealousy rising in his stomach. The child stopped whenever he saw a fence that surrounded a forest that glowed with soft purple lights. The kid reached his hands to grab the top plank of the fence, pulling his body up onto the fence. As he settled down on the plank to sit, a strong wind made him lose his balance, and the boy fell back into the snow. Instead of getting hurt, the snow bunched together in soft layers like a mattress that kept the boy from hitting the solid ground. The blonde giggled as he patted the snow with his chubby fingers.

Where he had patted the snow, the crystallized water droplets suddenly rose up from the ground to form the image of a rabbit. The bunny was pure snow, glowing a soft shade of purple from reflecting the obsidian blocks. The hare's ears twitched as it sniffed the air before lowering itself back on the ground to hop away. The kid, entranced by the sudden creation, stumbled to his feet to chase after the rabbit, his small legs leaping over tree branches as he kept the creature within his eyesight. The bunny stopped when it accidentally hopped into the arms of an awaiting woman. She gave the rabbit a pet across the bridge of its nose, before letting the bunny hop away on the ground.

The child was no longer fascinated by the bunny, instead all of his attention belonged to the woman. She wore a floppy hat with a veil around the edges to protect her dark brown hair and solid white eyes. She wore a kimono that reminded the child of the women in the TV shows that his Dad would watch. She was smiling down at the boy before she lowered herself to her knees. She raised a hand out to the boy, which he gladly accepted without any hesitation. The woman held onto the hand with an amused grin. "Hello, young one, may I ask what you are doing in my forest?"

"I fell. I chased the bunny. I came here!" The kid said with a bright smile that illuminated the snowy trees around them more than the weeping obsidian ever could. The woman gave a quiet laugh as she pointed back to where the boy had come into the forest from. The blonde turned around to see what she was talking about, but when he saw nothing, he turned to look back. The woman was gone, leaving a confused bunny made entirely out of snow. The kid smiled as he grabbed onto the rabbit, running back home to show his family what he had found.
Even though he was a child, he would never be able to forget the depressed look his father had when he explained the woman he had met. He would never forget the dark looks his brothers shared as he explained where the rabbit had come from. He would never tell a soul that he had been looking out his window as his eldest brother took a sword to the bunny that the child had chased.

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"I hate them," Tommy muttered as he buried his face in Kristen's kimono. He was a big man, so every tear that he shed was a big man's tears. Tommy didn't even know why he was crying. He should have been angry. He should have been seething with barely contained rage at the audacity of his family who had forced him into an awkward family dinner between four people who didn't consider each other family. Instead, he felt like he was grieving the loss of his family. It was as if they had all died, leaving Tommy behind. Instead, they had all abandoned Tommy, something far worse than if Kristen had taken them home.

"We both know that you don't," Kristen whispered back to Tommy while running her fingers through his hair. At first, Kristen had felt a strong dislike for the intruder that had wandered into her forest. It made her angry that one of the people she blamed for separating her from the family she loved had come into her domain. Kristen expected the intruder to gloat that they could enter when Kristen's family had violent physical responses when they came close to the fence that kept Kristen from them. She expected to see parts of the woman that drove Kristen into this isolation to shine through the intruder's appearance. That day, Kristen had seen an excitable toddler chasing after a snowy rabbit with blonde locks like the man she loved and eyes as blue as the sky. Sure, these eyes seemed more like the arctic sky Kristen resided under than the tropical sky she had met the love of her immortal life under. Kristen couldn't find it in her anger to take the intruder's- the child's life. Kristen had sworn vengeance against that adulterous woman and her offspring, but all Kristen saw was an innocent child that didn't understand the drama around his family. Kristen had let the boy go.

Now, the boy would come back to the forest from time to time. He had brought a record player once, telling Kristen to keep it safe. Kristan had reluctantly done as he asked. When the child came back, he clung to a disc. When he played it, he told Kristen that it was her son's songs that he allowed the boy to record. Kristen had cried tears of joy as she heard the voice of her precious Wilbur. The next day, the boy came with a paper. Someone with beautiful calligraphy had written Kristen a letter, and the boy told Kristen that was her eldest son's handwriting. Kristen cherished that paper, keeping it folded in a pocket right next to her - heart. The child (Tommy was his name) would come back from time to time with mementos of Kristen's children. Eventually, Tommy would share his own accomplishments, making Kristen gifts when he had nothing of his brother's to give. Kristen hesitantly cared for the clothes that the boy would sow for her, but eventually her temporary truce to not kill the boy turned into genuine motherly affection. Tommy was no longer her son's brother or the adulterous woman's son, but Kristen's son, her loveable kid who had a smile like the sun and an aura of the first snowfall.

"Wrongins and bastards," Tommy criticized as he pushed back Kristen away from his body. Tommy clenched fistfuls of snow in both of his hands as he tried to morph his sadness into anger. It wasn't working out for him if his thicker tears were anything to go by. He was sobbing into the air with a shaking body, trying to take the reins of his own emotions. It didn't work like that, however. Emotions don't bend to a person's will. No one chooses how to feel, and no one gets to decide how they feel about another person. No matter how much Tommy wanted to hate his family, everything in his thoughts, actions, and reactions to them made it abundantly clear that Tommy held more respect, admiration, and love for those three than he would have liked to have for them.

"Tommy, sweetie, don't do this to yourself. However you feel about them, it's valid. They have been the brightest lights in your life, and they have been the darkest shadows. They have caused many fond memories, and many traumatic ones, too. You should accept whatever it is you feel towards them, no matter what that emotion is. The first step to moving on is accepting how you feel. Don't be your own emotions enemy," Kristen said softly as she gave Tommy a pat on the hand. She was able to pull him out of his dark thoughts with that action. Tommy grabbed onto her wrist with both hands, keeping it locked in place. Kristen felt her own tears well up. It had been a long time since Tommy was last here. The last time had been shortly after Tommy ran away from Dream, when Wilbur was dead, and Kristen had seen the effects of Tommy's isolation and abuse. She had heard word that Dream had been imprisoned, but Tommy never came to let Kristen know. Kristen had to use her ravens to find out that Wilbur was alive. Now, Tommy was back in such an emotionally vulnerable state. It was clear that Tommy wasn't getting the attention that he needed as a child, or even as a human. He was hurt in more ways than one. The scars run deep, and Kristen couldn't heal them.

She would have to find a way to make the gods allow her to return to the mortal realm one more time. If not for her family, then for Tommy.

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