He brought me back to life; A Captain America romance; Book one.

Chapter 10; We're not in Kansas anymore

As soon as the door opens, I find myself stomping down the ramp. I am furious! Mainly at Steve for scaring me like that but also furious at myself for what I was feeling towards him. What am I doing? I'm not one bit ready to even think about being with anyone again. But the thing is, he isn't just anyone. It's my adrenaline, that's all. It's making me crazy. Anyway, it doesn't matter if I do like him or not because Steve said we're friends. Just friends.

My thoughts are interrupted when Happy comes barging into the hanger knocking some poor jet engineer to the floor. He runs over and grabs me around my arms lifting me into a bone cracking hug. "Shit, Happy,put me down for God's sake" I giggle, embarrassed. Steve and the rest of the team are behind me now, all beaming. "How good was our girl, huh?" Happy asks them smiling brightly. "Our girl was amazing." Steve replies sultrily. Yhat asshole! But I feel my knees go weak and I'm glad Happy was still holding onto me.

"Okay, Go get a well-deserved rest and be in the living room at 8pm." Happy says. Boss wants family movie night to celebrate". I frown and look at Nat who answers my silent question. "Tony always makes us do something together after a successful mission. Says it's good for morale". She laughs rolling her eyes. Wow, Tony treats this "family" better than he ever treated his own. "I'm picking the movie this time." Clint pipes up. "I'm feeling something with Van Dam?" He does a round house kick in my direction. "Absolutely not!" Bucky says. "Besides, it's Ellie's choice tonight for kicking ass today." He kisses me on the cheek making me blush. "Ugh, get a room." Clint groans and I see Steve shift on his feet, uncomfortably, from the corner of my eye before he says; "I'll have to sit this one out guys. I did get blown up after all." He exits the hanger and I look after him and I'm angry at myself for feeling disappointed.

***

I throw myself onto my bed and sigh deeply. I was still trembling with so much adrenaline from the mission that I had to sit down in the shower. I can't believe I did that. Me. I smile to myself. God, I missed these feelings; Happy, strong and confident. I didn't think I'd ever get that them back. "Avenger in training." I say out loud and laugh hysterically to myself. Nat is standing at my door then, arms folded with one eyebrow raised. "Sorry," I say sheepishly. "Still on a high I guess". She wraps me in a loving hug. "You should be, you were amazing!"

"Soooooooo..." she says devilishly raising her eyebrows up and down while sprawling across my bed. "Nat, don't." I say cautiously, feeling sick. She holds her hand up to stop me. "Ellie, it's okay to like someone you know. God knows you deserve to be happy. Especially after that Prick." She hisses and pauses, "It's what she would have wanted for you." I feel a sudden pang of sadness in my heart. "I mean, it has been over a year... like, you must be super horny." She says smirking, with a nod of encouragement. "Nat, Shut up!" I smack her with a pillow. "I don't know what I'm feeling Nat. Steve is a good guy, we're friends." I pause. "It's just I never really thought I could let myself feel like this again, to be vulnerable. I've just put up so many barriers. I thought Lee had taken away my ability to trust a man." I admit, defeated. "Fuck him!" Nat spits and I whip my head up, surprised. She pauses. "Besides, this isn't just any man, It's Captain America!" She looks at me and we both laugh. "I know riiiiiiiight?" I tease and sigh. "Anyway, it doesn't matter because we're just friends." I say, again, the word starts to feel like it's losing its meaning. "I guess I'm just a bit scared about what I'm feeling you know?" I try to articulate the turmoil I'm feeling before giving up. "Ellie Hart, you think too much." She says, her tone exacerbated. I shrug. "Besides, there's no way he feels the same way. I mean, you remember how off he was with me when I first started here? And I told you about that time I heard him and Sam in the kitchen a few weeks back." I try to hide the disappointment in my voice. "I don't know about that, El. That day in the gym with Sam? I have never seen Steve so angry before. It scared me, to be honest. And I'm an assassin! But he was terrified, also and had this horrible expression on his face, like he was the one in pain..." She trails off thinking hard. I smile, remembering his grip around my body. "He does make me feel safe Nat, I trust him. I feel like he'd never do anything to hurt me or lie to me. He's kind and caring... Basically the complete opposite of what I'm used to, so I guess it's only natural for me to feel affection towards him." Nat purses her lips and nods slowly. "And I suppose the fact that he's absolutely gorgeous and has a rocking body has nothing to do with it?" she asks Sarcastically. "I mean, that doesn't hurt." We fall back on the bed laughing.