Not Her

33. Overwhelmed ...

Khusi's heart dropped to her stomach at Abhay's statement. Was he mocking or was he genuinely asking the obvious once more, she wasn't sure by the blank look on Abhay's face. But the damage, if there was any, was already done. Khusi had already disclosed what society thought her flaws were, to Abhay.

"Yes, and as I have already mentioned, I never wanted to get pregnant and make any baby."

She was more than sure that Abhay wouldn't be interested in her anymore and she was okay with that. She knew it would happen, so she had decided not to indulge herself in something that might not work.

Also, she wasn't ready to mingle with another man so soon. Her last relationship had taught her to be careful even with the most perfect person. Abhay wasn't perfect though, unlike Bhaskar. Rather he was the complete opposite.

Abhay was a fatal combination of short tempered and impulsive, sometimes even impractical. Bhaskar, was the complete opposite. The balanced combination of cool minded, logical and practical.

And look where that perfection led her to.

Khusi quickly shook her head to disperse the bizarre thoughts. She herself didn't know why she was comparing the both. Loving Bhaskar was the biggest and worst mistake of her life, and she had moved past it. It was pretty hard, but she did manage. Though it had taken more than 6 months to disperse Bhaskar from her head, she was happy with the progress. That man didn't hold any power to make her cry anymore.

"And why do you think it should concern me?" At Abhay's words, Khusi's eyes, which were fixed at the wall clock behind Abhay's head, settled back on him.

"What?" She was dumbfounded for a minute, assuming she heard the question wrong.

"Why do you think that piece of information would change what I feel for you?" One of Abhay's eyebrows shot up.

"What do you feel for me?" Khusi asked, licking her lips, her pulse rate accelerating.

Abhay was caught off guard as he blinked at Khusi. "I ... '' He gulped audibly, taking a deep breath and looked away. A wry smile broke on Khusi's lips.

Of-course, men and their lack of ability to express their emotions.

"It's okay. It might be hard for you to disclose ... "

"No. It isn't hard for me to express my feelings for you. That's not why I am silent. I fear it might get overwhelming for you, or you ... might feel like I am taking advantage of your situation and wooing you, or I might make you feel pressured, which isn't. You don't have to ... '' Abhay's lips felt shut when Khusi's palm came to rest on his cheek gently. Khusi didn't know any other way to stop his ramblings. His worried eyes settled on her face, and he gulped audibly at how close they were and how beautiful she was.

"Abhay," she whispered, their nose almost touching, making Abhay intake a sharp breath. Khusi's natural scent wafted past his nose, and his arms itched to pull her closer.

"Tell me, what do you feel for me?"

"I like, no, like is a very small word. I adore you, I admire the strength in you and want to cherish your heart for the rest of our lives." Khusi's heart fluttered in her chest by the sincerity behind Abhay's words, and by the pure devotion shining in his eyes.

But then it changed. His eyes, from cloudy grey to charcoal grey and Abhay enclosed his palms around Khusi's waist bringing her close.

"But, it's not just that I am doting on you. I am also inexplicably attracted to you. Each and everything you do turns me on. From the way your breathing changes from time to time, to the way you fumble with your dress, the way you bite your lips when you're nervous or your simple eye roll when you're annoyed at me. It makes me wanna take you right then and there, and make you whither in pleasu ... fuck!" His grip on Khusi's waist loosened and Abhay quickly sprinted up from the bed, taking deep breaths, turning away from Khusi.