|| SamBucky (WinterFalcon Oneshots) ||

Apologies. (Complete)

"Wait... Sam, don't lllll was stupid to believe in someone. To believe that someone will love him. Cherish him. How did he not see this coming? Probably because he never thought Bucky would do such a thing.

"Sam, please-"

"Don't..." He whispers lowly, his eyes closing. He inhales sharply. "Don't because I don't want to feel sorry, right now." He continues, having to look away from the sorry sight.

God it looked pathetic. Bucky's eyes wide and full of tears, a look of regret and grief and agony swirling in those crystal blue eyes. "Sam, I didn't mean-"

"You know how sensitive that topic is and yet, you prodded at it. Do you know how much fucking grief I had? Thinking it was my fault. I still think it is, if I had gone there a little faster, I would have been able to save Riley..."

"Don't worry though, seeing as though I'm annoying and not currently wanted, I'll leave for the night, let you have the space you need." Sam says with finality and Bucky looks over his shoulder, glaring at nothing worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. How had he fucked up? It slipped out, he didn't mean to hurt Sam. He would never do it purposely. Because Sam is a strong man, very strong and considerate, always wearing that stupid (but adorable) smile he always has. Knowing that you were the one to make a man as strong as him, fall? Well, it just digs into you. Eating away at your insides until there's just this numb feeling. The feeling of defeat and desperation.

Bucky can't do anything except give up and surrender and so, that's what he does. Let's Sam to and watches the man slam the door.

Bucky yells out in agony, tears of frustration spilling over his cheeks. His breathing was heavy and ragged. His mind was overwhelming him, calling him pathetic.

How stupid he is to make Sam, such a beautiful specimen, cry.

He grips at his hair, collapsing to the floor and rocking back and forth. Sobs wracking his body as he curls himself impossibly tighter, as if it would shield him from this shitty world. This shitty reality. He doesn't know who he's calling until he hears that annoying voice of Dr. Raynor.

"James?" Her voice rings and he takes a moment to steady himself. Tears still silently rolling down his tear stricken cheeks.

A sudden tightness blossoms in his chest.

He can't breathe. His chest heaves, Dr Raynor's voice cutting through. Even if she sounds underwater.

"James, remember the breathing exercises we did?"

He nods, forgetting that she was on the floor.

God

He can't even breathe properly, how useless is he? How worthless.

Steve would be rolling in his grave right about know.

"What happened, Bucky?" Bucky chooses to ignore the name and instead answers shakily, still struggling to breathe.

Come back, Sam. I can't breathe without you. I can't function without you. You've become this drug that I can't get enough of. Your intoxicating smile that I find adorable. Your presence alone. I didn't mean it.

"I think I pushed Sam away." He mumbles, still rocking back and forth.

His hairs were standing on edge.

He didn't feel safe now. The corners in his house have gotten darker.

His heart-rate started to pick up.

A sense of doom.

From what? Though? There:s nothing there...

Stop. You are James Bucky Buchanan Barnes, Steve's best friend. Sam's friend- No. You're not friends anymore, you pushed him away like you do to everyone else.