|| SamBucky (WinterFalcon Oneshots) ||

Silence Can Get Loud

During his time as the Winter Soldier, Hydra's programming taught him one thing, and that is to use the silence as an advantage. They taught you how to block out the annoying ring that seems to make itself known, whining endlessly. Now though, not even Hydra's training that still remains, buried deep in his mind, inaccessible behind layers and layers of walls that has been planted there since the Infinity War.

Everything was so much easier when he had Steve with him. Sam by his side, laughing at a joke in his usual joking manner. His laugh always made Bucky smile. It was intoxicating his mind was hooked on the rush of heat spreading to his stomach at the sound. It became his drug.

Now though, there's no laughs. No smiles. No silent moans as hands roam one another. No more throwing pranks on Sarah and the boys. How does everything turn to shit?

It is like, the world is against him. Humanity, is against him. He didn't choose this lifestyle. He didn't choose to become some stupid obsessed Nazi prick's puppet. He didn't choose to fall off that train.

And yet, society doesn't see him as a victim. They see him as a monster.

A villain whom, even mentioning his old name, sends sparks of fear up people's spines.

Sam wasn't like that. Or well, he was, but he acted as if Bucky was innocent.

News flash: he isn't and he never will be. It's not who he is anymore, he's done the deeds. He's killed a shitload that could make hitmen blush.

He was a machine, mindless robots people used over and over and over again. Never giving him a chance to even breathe. With Sam though, he felt he could breathe. He didn't feel like that the weight of the world was on his shoulders. He didn't feel like he was a monster who killed people.

Sam treated him like a victim to years of trauma, something Steve didn't.

The Barnes-Wilson starts to tear up,, his bottom lip trembling as he begins to cry silently, his body shaking with sobs at the feeling of dread.

It's all too much. He needs someone to light the way for him.

Sam did. He held a torch that shined brighter than the sun, he filled Bucky up with kindness that he didn't deserve.

He didn't mean for Sam to go the way he did. He knew that, eventually, one would fall, in Sam's case, literally. Bucky could still head the raw scream that was full of fear. The sickening crunch of him hitting the ground below grating against his ear like a cheese grater.

The choked gasps and broken sobs as Sam pleaded for breath.

I can't breathe- Buck, I'm sorry...

What for, Sammy? It was me, I should've alerted you, and now you're paying the price, I was too busy in keeping my ass alive that I completely forgot about yours...

And yet, even in his dying moments, Sam chose to use the last little bit of oxygen he has to soothe Bucky. To console a murderer, who now, not only has killed familes upon families, but his husband too.

Hey, Buck... Look at me, It was not your fault, okay?

Sam was crying when he said that, his eyes wide and sincere as he worked with effort to comfort his husband.

It's not your fault, baby. Okay? Don't go blaming yourself...

Can you smile for me?

Bucky thought he couldn't. Because how old one smile when the love of their life was dying in their arms?

I'm sorry, Sammy!

Smile for me. Please...? I don't want to see you all sad miserable, I want to see you smile before I go.

Even if it's just a laugh, anything...

And so, Bucky smiles, though it came out more of a grimace.

Sam had smiled comfortingly.

There's that beautiful I came to love. I'll wait for you, okay? And we can roam the halls of heaven, or hell, together. How's that sound?

By now, Bucky was sobbing, his hands clutching at Sam's shirt as his body shook. They were supposed to grow old together! Sam promised! He fucking promised and he didn't keep his end of the deal.

"You promised, Sam... You fucking promised."

Bucky fell asleep that night alone and shivering, Alpine resting on top of his head as she licked Bucky's forehead in a comforting manner.

Sam, who was watching over, smiled sadly.

Soon, baby. Soon.

A/n: haha, this actually made me cry while writing this, especially at the part where Sam said that they'd roam the halls of heaven or hell together. Yikes. Anywhoo, probably won't be updating at all since school starts soon.