Addiction (Jim x Tilly - The Basketball Diaries fic)

Chapter 12. The day my world crumbled

~Time skip: a few months~

Tilly
Me and Jim are happier than we've both ever been. We've been dating for a few months now and it's like being in heaven. His friends are such dicks, but hanging with them is honestly so fun. Mickey is my favourite friend of Jim's. Paedro is chill and Neutron. Well I haven't seen him in a while - he left us after he found out we weren't occasionally using, but almost daily now. Jim's plan to keep me safe from them didn't work, and he knew it. But so did I and I didn't care. The first few highs around two months back were the worst - I threw up almost every time and couldn't enjoy them - but lately they've been getting exciting. I'll admit that a few months back I was pretty scared of becoming addicted, but it's not as bad as it seems. The high usually wears off after 2 or so hours, giving me enough time to cool off before Mom gets home from work at her usual 10pm time. Sometimes I'm not even there to see her when she gets home and before she leaves; a lot of nights I spent at Jim's, chatting, getting high and drunk. Some nights we'd climb the metal stairs up to the top of the apartments and lay watching the stars, warm in each other's arms - we mostly fall asleep up there before I can go back home. I don't see a lot of Mom now due to that, but I'm pretty sure she
doesn't care that much, she never really did.
The days have pretty much been the same throughout the months: wake up in my bed or with Jim, play basketball, smoke, possibly drink, jump off cliffs, run around the city, spend the day with Jim, get high in the evenings, and round and round again.

Neutron
I left the group a few months back when it started getting bad. I knew Jim wanted to protect Tilly, but I noticed he seemed to be caring less and less about how much she took and used. I wonder if Tilly has noticed yet that he boyfriend seems to be giving less and less of a shit about her and her usage. He's getting in pretty bad shape himself and it seems almost as if they're both addicted. I know it's only weed, but it's constant. It scared me if I was honest, and I knew my drug days were behind me. I couldn't keep living in this tiring cycle, so I quit it.
I see the boys and Tilly round the city sometimes, usually stumbling around, and man they look rough, awful. I'm glad I'm no longer included in that.

———

Tilly
A loud siren blared through my window and into the haziness of my sleep, waking me all of a sudden. I rubbed my eyes, wishing it away. All of this was too loud for me. Unfortunately, my wish was not granted as the noise only seemed to be constant and not moving. I laid there wondering for a second, before hauling myself up to take a look. I noticed it had stopped right outside of the apartment doors. Intrigued, I stepped out onto the balcony, lighting a brand new cigarette from a pack I stole whilst out with the boys. I leaned over the balcony, arms placed tightly on the side and my left arm up in the air with the burning, cancerous cigarette slipped in between my fingers, just to see two paramedics rush out and through the downstairs doors. Many people had gathered outside now with the same clear intentions as myself. I wondered who it was before.
As I was in the middle of taking a long inhale, my Mom burst through my door - her robe belt swishing from side to side and her brown messy hair in a loose bun on top of my hair. In a panic, I dropped my cigarette over the balcony and puffed out the smoke.
"Tilly, quick" she ordered as she ran to me, grabbing my arm. Startled by this sudden outburst, I worriedly asked "Why Mom? What's wrong?", she continued to drag me through the halls and down the stairs to where her beaten up car sat. I was still in my pajamas which was getting me odd looks from the neighbours. Before I could ask more, I was shoved into the car. If I wasn't woken up before, this would have certainly woken me up.
"MOM!" frustrating started to course through my veins. I deserved to know what was going on. As she plopped herself into her seat and started doing up her seatbelt in a rush, she looked over at me, and for the first time in my entire life, with sorrowful and caring eyes, and said "Jim's mother found Jim this morning on the floor, covered in his own sick with a needle beside him". I froze. I couldn't move. I couldn't talk. A thousand thoughts ran through my head, but all that could come out of my mouth was "is he going to be okay?". "They think so. He didn't fully overdose and from his Mom, I heard he's still alive. Not conscious, but alive". I breathed a sigh of relief.

As my Mom sped through the city towards the hospital, my eyes pricked with tears. How could I have been so stupid and oblivious to not notice that my boyfriend, the only person I cared about in this world, had been using more than weed? I'd watched his body get skinnier, his skin get paler and his eyes become sunken, but never had it occurred to me that something else could be having this effect on him. God I'm so stupid. I was totally obsessed within myself that I didn't even notice anything was wrong! How?! How?! I was choking back tears now as my head started spinning. I couldn't loose him, not when he's the only person in this unfair and cruel world that makes me feel loved and I'm the only person who fully understands him.

We sped into the hospital car park, crashing through the doors, asking the receptionist for Jim's room. After saying thank you, I told Mom to wait in the waiting area for me and that I wasn't sure how long I'd be. Shaking, I started making my way down the hall to Room 43. My heart pounding, I grabbed the door handle and turned it to reveal a ghostly pale Jim laying stock still in a hospital bed, hooked up with a thousand wires linking up to the machines making a horrific beeping noise and an oxygen tube hooked around his ears and up to his nose. I hardly recognised this Jim. I didn't know who he was or why I'd never seen him before. I stood there paralysed, I shook violently with waterfalls of tears flowing down my harsh cheeks. I slowly turned round to close the door so it was just me and Jim in here.
I walked over to the blue chair waiting for visitors beside him and sat down. I placed one hand on my leg and slipped the other under Jim's. I had no idea what to do, so I started talking in hopes that he could hear me.