Addiction (Jim x Tilly - The Basketball Diaries fic)

Chapter 13. Machines, everywhere

Tilly
"Oh Jim... Jim Jim Jim how could you let this happen?" I hung my head low, the tears rippling out like a waterfall. I glanced up, half expecting him to reply. Except I got nothing in return but the whirring and beeping of those mechanical machines around him. 
"I don't know why I never noticed this" I gestured to his frail body and sunken face "happening to you. Remember how you always said to me 'Tilly, don't you ever do anything but weed'". I paused for a moment.
"Should have taken your own advice eh" I lightly joked with a sigh.

An hour passed as I talked at Jim, his face resting peacefully whilst I hoped his brain consumed my words. Despite how sweaty my hand was getting from holding his, I dared not let go. I didn't ever want to let him go ever again if something like this was going to happen.

A slow rapping sound came from the door as Mom entered, a comforting look coming over her face as she saw my tear soaked face and shaking hand holding Jim's.
"He's going to be okay, you know" she nodded at him sympathetically, walking over to me and placing an arm around my shoulder. I felt guilty for going out and doing drugs behind her back in the first place when all she wanted to do was keep me safe.
"I know" I sighed, gripping her arm with my other hand and leaning my tired head against her arm. We stayed like that for a moment before a nurse strutted in.
"Time to leave now" she spoke bluntly, startling me. Weren't nurses supposed to be caring, offering support to those of the patient? Apparently this nurse wasn't aware of that, or didn't care to be at the very least.
Removing her arm from my shoulder, Mom glanced at me as we moved towards the door. Taking one final look behind me at Jim, I smiled slightly as the nurse closed the door behind us.

As Mom and I made our way down the hospital corridors, we laughed about 'Nurse Nasty' - as Mom called her.
"I mean did you see the way she stood there with her hand on her hip like she owned the place?!" Mom giggled as she slid into the drivers seat.
"I know! It was just like this" I mimicked 'Nurse Nasty's' stance, over-exaggerating the move as Mom erupted into laughs. Once the laughter had subsided, I slid into the passenger seat and stared straight ahead as the car began to move out of the parking lot.
A brief moment of silliness had taken my thoughts away from the image of Jim all alone in that room, but this sudden silence that had fallen in the car scared my thoughts back into my head.

"What you thinking about?" Mom's voice jolted me out of my thoughts.
"You said he's going to be alright, but how can you know that for sure? I mean, you saw the way he looked" I paused momentarily, taking a breath.
"And those machines..." I screwed up my face.
"He looked like a fucking robot". I glanced back at Mom, measuring her face for a reaction.
For a few moments, quietness hung in the air before she responded reassuringly,
"Because it's Jim. He's always alright. He'll get through this one Tilly. He will" she took ahold of my hand and gave it a squeeze before placing both hands back on the steering wheel.  We were going home.

Jim
Tilly was here. Her sweet voice echoed all around my aching body. I could hear her.  Could hear the way her voice shook with fear, could hear the love in the way she spoke to me and I could hear the deep regret resounding from deep inside of her. I wanted nothing more than to reach out, take her hand in mine and tell her it's all going to be okay. That I'm going to be okay. I'll be out of here in no time.
"Should have taken your own advice eh?" her sad voice carried into every cell of my broken down body. Oh ha ha Tilly, very funny.