Addiction (Jim x Tilly - The Basketball Diaries fic)

Chapter 21. Re-united ❤️‍🩹

Jim

We fell asleep to the peaceful sound of raindrops pattering against the window, draining out all of the city noise. My eyes felt heavy from the tears I had cried. This was the happiest I had felt in over a year. Tilly by my side, the comforting in and out pattern of her breathing cradled me to sleep as my head laid on her chest, arms wrapped around me. I felt safe. Loved.

I awoke to the banging of the front door. I stretched, yawning as I remembered where I was. A smile crept to my mouth. My first thought was Tilly, my second was who the fuck was banging on that door?  I pushed myself off of the bed carefully, so as not to wake Tilly, and groggily walked over to the door. Grabbing the handle, I threw open the door to reveal her Mom.

"Oh! Hi Jim" she sounded surprised. I would be too if I was in her shoes. I grinned one of the smiles that I always reserved for adults - innocent. She tilted her head slightly to the side and her eyebrows pulled inwards.

"I didn't expect you to still be here. But anyway, can you wake Tilly? She has school today" Oh yeah, school. I'd forgotten about that. I don't even go anymore. Don't see any point after almost 2 years of not going, why bother?

Nodding my head, I said "Sure. I'll be out of here in a second" I tapped the door with my hand two times. Behind me, Tilly stirred. Ms Anderson turned on her heels and walked away, me closing the door behind her. I turned round to look at Tilly, her bed-hair awash on the pillow. Laughing to myself I moved over to her and lightly brushed the side of her cheeks, whispering in her ear.

"Good morninggg rise and shine! It's a school dayyyyy" I teased. Tilly stirred some more and opened her eyes. Diamonds shone back at mine and I reached down to her lips to give her a light kiss. I felt the corners of her mouth turn upwards.

"Mmm no I'm not going today" she wearily said, shaking her head and grabbing my arm. I laughed a little bit.

"Wanna stay here with you" was the last thing she said before pulling me down next to her and closing her eyes again. No idea how I'd explain this to her Mom, but I'd work something out.

"Okay" I whispered and shut my eyelids, one arm wrapped around her protectively, as she fell back into a deep sleep. I, however, didn't go back to sleep. I laid there, listening to her smooth breathing and feeling the rise and fall as I placed my hand against her chest. I felt carefree, I really hoped she felt the same.

Tilly
The morning passed slowly as Jim and I discussed our current situation.
"I just think we should take it slow. You know? After what happened"
I gave my opinions and he repeated his back to me. All the while, I couldn't help but notice the dullness in his eyes. The spark I had helped get back once upon a time was now gone, replaced by a endless void. I wondered what had brought this on.
We eventually came to a conclusion. We were going to take things slowly. Both of us knew we couldn't afford what happened to take place again. It broke us both.
'We' this and 'us' that. I was more connected to him than I knew.

I took Jim in my arms and cradled his head against my stomach as he heaved a long sigh, his chest deflating. I felt a sorrow for him that I hadn't felt in a long time. Telling him to leave a year ago was clearly a mistake that I would never make again, but part of me knew that maybe we did need a break. Maybe it would make us stronger again.
I could quite literally feel his bones underneath his t-shirt. His arms were like twigs and his knuckles were showing like hilly mountains.

"Jim" I began carefully, lifting his head up to meet my eyes. His face remained still, watching me.
"Are you okay?" I murmured, giving him a quick kiss on the forehead. Ever since last night, I could tell something was up. I wasn't sure what though, but I wanted to get it out of him. His head adverted downwards before rising back up again.
"Yeah" he cracked a smile, although not quite meeting his eyes. I didn't believe him.
"Are you sure-" I was cut off by his cherry lips meeting mine, hands moving slowly up to my face, tracing every nook and cranny. Well then...

I pulled back hesitantly. I didn't want to do that yet, no. It was a bit too early. I took him by the hands and laid my head back down on the pillow, Jim mimicking, doing the same. We stayed like that for what felt like hours, hands intwined, eyes locked on each other. It was like we held the keys to each other's souls. We moved slowly, tentatively, exploring one another's soft and, in Jim's case, fragile skin. All the while, a little fire of light glimmering inside of my chest woke up. I missed him. I really fucking missed him. Taking his blonde hair and twirling it around my fingers, I whispered lightly what we were both thinking.
"We missed each other, didn't we" a smile spread across his face and mine as we began to giggle, grabbing each other's face roughly and crashing lips together like waves on a stormy night.

The fire inside of my chest spread like a thousand matches all at once. I had this feeling I hadn't felt in over a year. High. Not physically high. But Jim. Oh God Jim was my high.
I realised then that I hadn't just missed Jim, my best friend and boyfriend, I missed getting high with him.

Pulling away a second time, he groaned, exasperated. I tapped him on the nose.
"Got an idea" I said.
Sighing, he rolled his eyes for dramatic effect.
"Shoot"
"Wanna get high?" I questioned, stringing my words out.
Grabbing my hands, he pulled me up and sprang off the bed so fast I probably would have gotten whiplash.
"Fuck yes" he cried as I laughed happily, following him out the door to his apartment.