Addiction (Jim x Tilly - The Basketball Diaries fic)

Chapter 15. Living in the moment of our love

Jim

A month shot by as quickly as a shooting star. In that time, Tilly and I had spent every waking moment with each other, both afraid we would be somehow shunted apart again. Everything seemed so bright. I had forgotten how the world looked when I was sober. It was a strange feeling, not touching those drugs I had been so dependent on. But they were like The Black Plague, waiting to latch onto me, and I did not want to become it's latest victim. I had spent the first few weeks back at home recovering from what had just happened. Seeing as I was in a coma the whole time in hospital, I had not felt the full blast effects of the come-down of the overdose. I thanked God for that every day. Neither of us touched drugs in our time together, only alcohol. (couldn't keep me away from that. I had to live somehow). Even Tilly, who I noticed had been smoking a lot more pot, quit it out of respect for me. The first weeks were rough for her, but eventually the cravings subsided, leaving me with the beautiful girl I had always known. I never wanted what just happened to me, to happen to her. I always felt a strong need to protect her. Protect her from everything. She had become my world. My heart beat for her and that crimpled brown hair. I don't know how I ever got so lucky.

------- Time skip: back to the night they reunite -------

Tilly

"I know my love" the corners of his mouth curved as he tackled me onto the bed, laughter tumbling out of both our mouths.

"Shhh" I giggled, lightly pressing my finger to his mouth to quieten him.

"My Mom might hear!".

Jim batted his eyelashes at me, his hollow eyes forming into perfect doggy-eyed circles, and his mouth turning into a pout. I lay there, leaning on my elbows for support as I watched him pretend to be falsely hurt by my last sentence, before his mouth turned back up into a mischievous grin as he grabbed my waist and gave it a tickle.

"Aww is little Tilly afraid of her Mumma hearing?" he teased as he continued to tickle me, his hands slowly working their way up to my breasts. My laughter subsided and his face grew less joker-like and more serious.

"Jim" I murmured as he grabbed both my hands carefully, caressing each finger with his lips as he brought them down to kiss them. Butterflies darted around my stomach as I felt him take one hand and trail it down my legs, gently rubbing at the skin as he went. Before I knew it, I was lifting my arms up to help him take my top off as he then slid my plaid skirt and tights off. I'd been naked in front of Jim before, but knowing what was likely coming, I felt a new jolt of excitement make it's way through my body. This felt new. But I liked it. We'd done it before, not all the way though, and I wondered if tonight was the night as I heard the husky tones of his voice ring out in my ear.

"My word you are so beautiful". My lips curled into a smile. These words always made me cry out inside, desperately.

"And you" I poked him on the nose as he did that nose scrunch I always adored about him.

"Are goddamn handsome" I shifted the tone of my words as he began to steadily take his shirt off bit by bit. This was taking too long. I knew he was teasing me with the rate he was removing this top. He knew every moment I watched him in awe, it set a little bonfire in my body, and that I liked the feeling of that bonfire. He knew that I loved when more things were thrown into the bonfire, setting my body alight, just waiting for the minute I would explode.

His shirt was off, and greedily I ran my hands down his chest and began to undo his belt. A hand gripped my hand, removing it from his jeans as he wagged his finger.

"Uh uh uh" he responded, yet again making me wait longer. He leaned over me, taking one ravenous look, and dug his hand around in the draw next to my bare body before stepping his legs over the side of the bed and removing his jeans. The little red thing inside my chest beat wildly as it sewed itself back together. The sight of a skin only, no clothes Jim exhilarated me.

"Now, where were we?" he gazed at me before wiggling the condom packaging between his two fingers in the air, eyebrows shuffling. I giggled lightly as he placed both his hands on me. The next half an hour was going to be sending fireworks into the night sky, and I was so ready for it.

Jim

Forty-five minutes later, Tilly and I lay side by side in bed, the covers pulled up to our chins. I glanced over to her, her hair spread over the pillow like a waterfall and her face perfectly still. She was asleep. She looked like an angel sent from heaven, and so so peaceful. I lifted my thumb up to her cheek to caress it lightly, taking care not to wake her. Looking at her now, my mind ran over the last few weeks and how it had physically pained me to be away from her. I could never let that happen again. Not to me, and not to her.

I studied her sleeping face a little while longer before gently breathing out.

"I love you Tilly". I whispered into her hair as my eyes watched her with love. I had been bottling up those three little words for months, but now I felt I had to get them out. My breath caught nervously as I slid them out, thoughts racing around my head at one hundred miles per hour. What if she doesn't love me back? What if she thought I was being ridiculous? What if she wants to break up because of this? What if, What if, What if? I waited gingerly before remembering that she wouldn't have heard The Three Words I had just spoken. I breathed out in relief. That had just been a practice for the real thing when I eventually admit my honest and happily overwhelming love for her.

Her body twisted round to face me at a slight angle as she lent her head against my shoulder and snuffled a little. That was adorable. I placed my arm softly around her as I heard five short words coming from her mouth in a tired but caring way.

"I love you too Jim".

My mouth opened up and I grinned like a Cheshire cat. Little fairies danced around the room on rainbows as I closed my eyes in wonder. She loved me too.