Addiction (Jim x Tilly - The Basketball Diaries fic)

Chapter 23. Where is he?

Tilly
Jim and I spent the next week in each others company. Not a second went by without us flirting with one another in some way. I supposed we were making up for lost time.

Saturday evening, I lay there on my bed, the sun beginning to cast shadows around the room. It was getting late and Jim still wasn't back. He said he'd gone out to score us some more drugs. We'd quickly moved back onto coke from the light weed we did last week. I figured I'd be fine, and I was. Pulling myself up and resting on my elbows, I moved my head to the side and glanced at the clock. 7:37pm. Jim had been gone two hours. An uneasy feeling arose in my stomach, just like when a rollercoaster drops from a height at a theme park. I threw my legs over the bed and placed my hands beside me, rocking back and forth to slow my breathing. This wasn't an oncoming panic attack. I hadn't had one of those since the first time I used weed. My mind was just spinning with endless and terrifying possibilities and I was worried. That was all.

By 8, I was up and pacing around the room. What if some dealer had done something? What if he was with some other girl? What if he had been arrested? And the worst one that ran around my mind, what if he was dead? I jumped up and down on the spot, hoping to get out the nervous energy radiating down my body, but that didn't help either. Shit I needed a drink.

I made my way over to my bed and lugged out a weighty brown suitcase from underneath it. Inside I stored all my alcohol. Illegally bought by Jim. I hadn't touched this since last year. I really had turned into a good girl since we split up. Which was slightly concerning. That wasn't me at all. Opening it up, I fished out a large and still full bottle of Vodka. I wasn't about to down it straight. That was fucking stupid. I'd learnt my lesson about drinking it without a mixer last time... long story.
Swinging my door open, I made a beeline for the cabinet in the kitchen where the soda was kept and fished out a Coca-Cola.

"Hey beautiful" Mom's voice echoed from the couch where she sat watching the television.
"Hi Mum" my voice shouted back hurriedly before moving back to my room and shutting the door. I was just about to begin mixing the two drinks when three mighty knocks at the window caused me to jump in surprise. My head shot up to witness Jim crouched on my balcony, his face bright and between his fingers, a packet of whiteness. That asshole was finally back.

"Open the window then!" he hollered.
At this, I slid open the window and pulled him in. Standing with my hands on my hips, his smile dipped a little.
"Where the fuck were you?" I questioned, my voice half threatening to scream. His hands went up as if he was asking not to be shot.
"You were gone nearly 3 fucking hours. I was going out of my damn mind with worry".
His face changed into concern. Good. He knew what he'd done.
"Look Princess-"
"Don't call me that right now" I scowled.
"Tilly then" much better.
"I got the coke"
"Yeah I can see that" Idiot. He looked up at me like a puppy begging for his toy. He sighed and sat there still for a moment. I was waiting. Tense silence hung in the room. It was painfully quiet.
"I'm sorry I left you for that long" he attempted to grip my hand but I yanked it away. No.
"But I want you to come with me. Come see this" he finished.
I looked at him, watched his eyes. The fuck was he playing at? I decided I knew better than to begin an argument. Neither of us wanted that.
"Please" he said quietly. The deep sounds of his voice rolling through my body almost made me forgive him right then. I had to hold my ground through. I still stood rigid.

"I did something for you". Damn it, this boy. He took my hand in his, brushing over it slightly,
which sent an electric shock up my arm. This time I didn't pull away, but gripped back. Still saying nothing, I nodded my head. I didn't smile or anything. I had to let him know he's not quite out of the dark yet. I was curious though. What had he done for me?
"Follow me" his eyes shone back at my cold glare, melting my mouth into a tiny smile. The anger inside of me gently beginning to soften.
"There we go" he touched the crease in the side of my mouth with the tip of his finger before leading me out of the window and down the ladder.