Sinners and Saints

Chapter 38

Two and half months later

These past few months have been fairly calm. 

I've been going to therapy which has been really good for me, resting, and taking some personal time. 

 Mother went back to California for the summer a week after I was discharged claiming that an emergency came up but that she would be back come the end of August when school starts back. 

Of course, I am eagerly awaiting her return. Note the sarcasm.

 I'm currently in Paris due to dad's and Lucy's wedding which was absolutely beautiful. 

My father is an amazing man and Lucy is an even more amazing woman.

 I'm so thankful that he was able to find love again after mom and that it was with Lucy of all people. 

Serena and Blair came for the wedding and we were now at lunch spending our last few days in the city together before school starts back up. 

Serena and Blair share a look and Serena clears her throat to ask me a question while I play around with my food "Hey, are you sure you're okay?" 

Sighing I drop my fork on my plate. 

"Yes. I love you guys but please stop asking me every day if I'm okay. If I wasn't I would let you know. That's one thing I've learned at therapy, don't keep everything bottled up, rely on good friends, and communicate." I start. 

"I feel fine and I haven't had a drink since that night." 

I finish looking into my friends' eyes. 

My therapist and I agreed that it's okay for me to drink for fun or in social settings. 

It's when I feel stressed out and turn to alcohol that there is a problem. 

Despite that, I've made a pact with myself to just do away with alcohol in its entirety for now.

 Blair smiles and places her hand over mine in a comforting manner. 

"So you're fine? No withdraws from Bass?" 

"Yes, I'm okay. Tell me about your relationship." I suggest trying to get the attention of myself.

 "Well Nate and I are on consistent speaking terms again so that's good." Blair begins.

 "And I'm excited to see Dan. I've missed him over the summer!" Serena adds. 

"Yea! Sounds like everyone is doing well." I say smiling lightly. 

Blair and I then start a conversation about the latest runway fashion when we notice Serena continuously checking her phone. 

"Serena, what's up?" Blair asks. 

Serena looks up at me with an apologetic facial expression "Sorry it was my mom. She was asking if any of us had heard from Chuck. Anyways, what are we talking about?" she replies. 

I try to act like the sound of his name doesn't affect me but it does. 

Chuck has been MIA all summer and I'm concerned about him.

 Aiden keeps telling me I need to focus on myself and forget about him but I can't help it. 

Zoning out in my thoughts Blair waves her hand in front of my face multiple times before I'm finally brought out of my thoughts. 

"Hmm, what?" I question. 

Blair says some things but I tune her out again and abruptly get up from the table.