Having Fayth

Into the woods

Fayth

"Tell me again why I let you talk me into this." I leaned against a tree trying to catch my breath.

"Well for one" Axel crouched down beside me, rummaging through his pack for a bottle of water and handed it to me. "You stay cooped up all day in your room. You need the fresh air and to let go of some of that stress you've been holding on to."

I looked down at him and glared. "I do not stay in my room all day. You have been dragging me out to god knows where everyday to let my anger out. I'm pretty sure there is no more stress. My heart just hurts."

"Is that so?" he asked standing up and closing the distance between us in a few quick steps. I nearly choked on my water when he pulled my pack off my back and tuned me to face the tree. "What are you-"

"shh" his warm breath met the skin on my neck and my body reacted in the most confused fashion. My heart quickened, my stomach did flips, but my mind played images of Blain while my soul ached for him. Only him. He worked his hands over my shoulders releasing the knots I didn't realize I was holding there and whispered in a silky tone "There now. Isn't that better?"

I sighed in approval before nodding my head and moving to grab my pack off the ground. I must have miscalculated the space between us, or he moved closer because I felt his hardness brush against me and immediately blushed. I stood straight and threw my pack over my shoulders, hiding my face in my hair. "I think we should continue. You said it wasn't too much further?" I asked walking ahead of him and blushing furiously.

I heard him chuckle saying something unintelligible under his breath before we came upon the cabin we were staying at for the night. He said he wanted to take me out somewhere that I could practice everything we had been going over without the interruptions of city life.

The cabin was small, but beautiful. I walked in admiring all of the rustic looking furniture and antlers on the walls. There was a fireplace in the living room. The mantle was littered with pictures of his mother's side of the family and even a few of a young Axel, maybe around four or five years old. He was fishing in a lake nearby and had the sweetest smile on his face. It made me wonder what had gone so wrong to make that sweet boy as he is today. I know he and his dad don't get along, but anytime I try to ask him about it, he shuts me down.

The bathroom had an old wash basin that looked like it had never seen a day of use, but it must have been just as old as the cabin itself. Preserved in this little capsule of love and care. Axel said that this cabin belonged to his mother and his family hardly ever get to come out to it anymore. She must have taken great pride in this little slice of heaven, because it was surly the most beautiful historic looking place I had ever visited. I was almost too afraid to touch anything.

I was even more surprised by the fact that there was only one bedroom. A queen size bed sat in the middle of the room against the far wall. The sun streamed through white cotton curtains illuminating the whole room. "Um, Axel?"

"Yeah, babe?" he called down the hall.

I rolled my eyes at the endearment. "Where am I supposed to sleep?" I turned around and bumped into him. His arms caught me before I fell on my ass. "Whoa there. Are you ok? What do you mean where are you going to sleep?" he looked between the bed and I.

"I mean" I started looking down at my feet. "If there is just one bed, where am I going to sleep?"

He smirked down at me lifting my chin to meet my eyes. "It's just a bed, beautiful. It's not going to bite you. I'm fully capable of keeping my hands to myself." He held up three fingers "scouts honor."

I shook my head dropping off my bag and grabbing a pair of pajamas while heading into the bathroom. I feel disgusting. We hiked for miles with our packs on in the heat. I'm covered in sweat, mud, and there's plenty of leaves and sticks in my hair, I'm sure. To say the path was one less traveled would be an understatement.

I pulled out my body wash, shampoo, and conditioner from my hygiene bag turning the water to its hottest setting before I stripped my clothes and stepped beneath the steamy spray.

Lathering my washcloth with my bodywash I'm reminded of how Blain's hands felt on my skin. Smooth like the silky mixture that coated the rough fabric I used to caress my body. Rough like the callouses on his fingers. Fingers he used to bring me pleasure and show tender care.

I moaned as my nipples pebbled at the memory of him, and I curse my traitorous body. I closed my eyes allowing myself this one reprieve into the delectable disastrous thoughts. I moved the cloth lower across my stomach and between my thighs. My breath hitched as I recalled his tongue buried between my folds, his thumb playing circles on my clit making my body quake.

In an instant his face was replace with Axel's. My brain screamed at me to stop, but I couldn't command my body to follow directions. My fingers replaced the cloth flicking my clit until my lower muscles tightened. I sunk two fingers between my slick walls and moved them in a come-hither motion. In no time the band that tightened in me snapped and I had to catch myself before I collapsed to my knees on the shower floor.

I was overtaken by harsh waves of emotions. Disgust with myself was high at the surface but beneath that was a deep-seated longing and just below, the heartbreak that lingered to remind me that my heart will never be safe again. Tears streamed down my face as I fought to catch my breath. My hand settled over my mouth to quiet my sobs.

With shaky hands, I quickly washed my hands and applied shampoo to my hair. As I was scrubbing my scalp the guilt struck me again. I felt as though I had cheated on Blain and used Axel in a moment of weakness. The pain was so deep that tears started to fall again. No matter how much B had hurt me, I could never do that to him. And I couldn't do it to Axel, not again. I was still healing and something in me told me that this heartbreak was far from over. But another part of me wondered if the band aid that Axel would provide would be worth it. Just to calm the pain and blanket the hurt if only for a moment.