Having Fayth

Lesson 2: know yourself

Blain POV

Ren's words kept me up. "step up and tell her how you feel before she finds someone who will answer all of her questions with actions."

Ren and I have been best friends since birth, but this sounded an awful lot like a warning and a challenge. He's given her the same talk I have about how she shouldn't just give herself away just to do it. That he should treat her right and deserve it. Earn it, because she's special. She deserves the best. Does he all of a sudden think he's the best for her?

A tap at my door drew my attention to the faint light in the hallway. The silhouette of her tiny frame was all I could see.

I sat up immediately. "Did you have a nightmare, bug?" She shifted slightly in my doorway. Fayth loves scary movies, but when it's all said and done, they give her horrible nightmares that wake her up crying covered in sweat. "Can I sleep with you, B?" Her voice was trembling. She must have just woken up from one of those bad dreams.

I folded the blankets down and pat the bed. Like always, she ran to my bed and jumped in pulling the blankets to her chin while I pull her shaking body to me kissing the top of her head. Her body melts into mine as a content sigh leaves her lips.

This right here is why I don't get jealous of her boyfriends. No matter what happens in her life, she runs to me. She seeks all of her care and comfort in me. She knows she's loved. She just doesn't understand how I love her.

She's sound asleep in my arms in only a few minutes, but I'm still awake. I brush her hair away from her face to clearly see her serene features at rest when she moves in her sleep rubbing her cheek against my bare chest and I find myself wishing she could see how great we could be together. I'd take care of her. I'd love her with everything I am. She'd never want for anything, never feel ignored or undervalued.

Why can't she see me like that? See me as a man and not her fucking step-brother. If I had a choice I would have told my mom she can't marry her dad. If I had known my feelings wouldn't fade, but rather grow... I would have spoken up long before she accepted our roles in this messed up family.

Hell, I almost told her on my 18th birthday. That didn't go as planned.

**Flashback**

Ren and I thought going out with the guys was a great way to celebrate. I drank more than I ever had and got sick in some bushes at a friend's house. No one was in their right mind to drive and I wasn't feeling like staying. I wanted to be home. I missed Fayth. So in my drunken stupor, I called her.

"Hey, B. Are you ok? It's late." Her voice sounded raspy and thick with sleep.

I smiled, because even though she was probably well into a deep peaceful sleep, she answered my call. My number was set to bypass her 'do not disturb' settings specifically because... well this isn't the first time I go out, get drunk, and call her.

"Hi, love bug. I miss you." I spoke honestly.

I heard her sigh into the phone and a moment later shuffling on the line. "One of these days I'm going to leave you at a party. You're lucky it's your birthday." The jingling of keys let me know she was already heading for the door.

"Aww, but you love me. You wouldn't leave me here." I whined like a child begging for attention. The memory of this when I woke up the next day had me momentarily embarrassed.

Fayth let out a groan "I do love you. That doesn't mean I won't leave you there one day." She paused starting the car "Zak's or Josh's?" She asked.