Having Fayth

Loss

Blain POV

It was nearly noon when a blacked out matte black charger pulled into the driveway and Fayth walked through the front door.

I couldn't tell who was driving through the dark tinted windows, but if the car and guys jacket she was wearing when she walked in were any indication, it was a man. It had to be Axel. What was she doing with him all night? Why was she wearing his jacket?

All of the fear I had for her safety drained away and was replaced by jealousy and anger. The way she walked right past me, not even bothering to look my way made it spike higher.

I didn't stop her when she went to her room closing her door. I didn't check on her when her music was turned up to the point I could hear it clearly in my own. No, instead I chose to ignore her right back. If I say anything it's not going to come out the way I want it to. So I laid on my bed with my headphones on and eyes closed hoping today would fly by and we could be back to normal tomorrow.

A soft hand on my shoulder shook me from my thoughts and my eyes popped open to meet her dark sapphire gaze.

She quickly looked away. "Mom and dad called. They are on their way home from the airport and want you to make dinner. I have a lot of homework to catch up on since I missed school today." She said without even looking back at me.

That's when I snapped.

My hand shot out holding hers preventing her from walking away.

"Why can't you even look at me, Fayth?" I tried to keep the anger and hurt from my voice.

She shook her head. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I let her hand go to stand from my bed walking slowly towards her. "You know exactly what I'm talking about." I brushed her hair behind her ear, stepping closer. "You're acting different. I don't like it. It's not you."

Her eyes met mine anger, hurt, confusion. The feelings I held within me were there clear as day in her eyes.

"What did we do that night?" I was shocked by the amount of hostility she had towards me in that moment. When she thought Ren had taken her innocence she didn't seem the least bit angry, but now? Fuck, I shouldn't have lied.

"Did we have sex?" She looked down her eyes filling with tears.

"No." I answered honestly. I don't want to go into detail.

"Then what was Regan talking about? You cheated on her with someone... me maybe... she said it like it was something more than a kiss. She said I slept with you." There was so much sadness and anger held in her voice. All I wanted to do was take it away. I knew my next words could break everything we've ever had and destroy any possibility of a future, but I couldn't keep lying.

"I wanted you the first day I saw you. I don't look at you like a sister, Fayth. You will never be my sister. I'm in love with you." I'm being open and honest. I'm not hiding it anymore. I can't hide it anymore.

"You came to me in the middle of the night. You were still drunk. So was I, but not as much. You were nearly naked straddling me and so hurt. How could you ever doubt how beautiful you are? And when you kissed me, I couldn't hold back anymore. I should have stopped. God I should have, but I couldn't. You begged me to touch you... I shouldn't have, but damn it how was I going to tell you no? I couldn't, not when you were hurt... not when you are all I've ever wanted. I touched you." I closed my eyes remembering every detail as I recounted what happened feeling an immense guilt settle over my heart.

"I tasted you. I made you scream my name and cum for me, but we didn't have sex. What I did was wrong. You were drunk. I wouldn't take it further with you without you being able to make that choice clearly." Tears were rushing down her face while she looked at me with an unreadable expression.

"I broke up with Regan. I didn't tell her who I was with or what happened. She was just guessing when she said it was you." I went to wipe her tears away, but she backed up a few steps.

"You said it was a mistake. Being with me was a mistake. You don't get to touch me." Her eyes were ablaze in anguished furry.

I thought I had seen her heart break when Toni and Ashley betrayed her, but this cut deeper. I could almost see the cracks forming, taste the pain on my tongue, feel her loss within me. All the trust she had formed for me was gone. Faded away by my careless words and actions. My secrets and delivery of what my heart screamed at me to release.

I didn't get a chance to speak before her hand slapped across my face. The sting couldn't be registered over the pain in my chest seeing that look in her eyes.

She turned to walk away, but I grabbed her wrist turning her back to me. She tried to fight. I'll give her credit where it's due, but I pinned her arms between our chests and pinned her body to mine until she calmed down whispering in her ear.

"Being with you was never a mistake. Touching you when you couldn't think clearly was the mistake. Lying to you about what happened was a mistake. I can't lose you, Fayth. I won't lose you." She stopped fighting and screaming and gently cried in my chest before pulling away and wiping her eyes.

"You already have." She said so softly it wouldn't have blown over a house of cards, but the words hit me like a wrecking ball to the chest and I watched her walk out of my room and shut her door behind her.