Nang makababa ako sa aking sasakyan ay agad ko rin iyong isinarado na sa sobrang gigil ko ay napasobra pa yata ang lakas dahil sa nilikha na tunog no'n. Agad-agad akong pumasok sa mansion na halos takbuhin ko na nga ang distansiya mula sa parking lot ng bahay namin patungo sa main door kung hindi lamang ako nakasuot ng dress at heels.
"Where's mom and dad?" I asked our maids that are busy cleaning our pool.
"Ay, ma'am! Nandoon ho sa garden at nag-aalmusal," said by Menda.
After knowing where my parents are, I quickly walked towards them. I just can't accept their plans regarding this issue of mine. Just by remembering it made my day ruined.
Hindi ko gusto ang gusto nilang mangyari. Ang solusyon na kanilang piniling piliin at gawin ay hindi ko matanggap. In order to save my fucking image I needed to date someone. The thing I hate doing the most. Ang gawin ang bagay na iyon ay ang magiging huling bagay na gagawin ko sa buong buhay ko.
Ayaw ko nang maranasan pa iyon kung alam kong gano'n rin ang kahihinatnan ng lahat. Maybe a one time experience is enough to let people learn from the things they were once fooled. Enough to learn on how to stop and take a second step with the same stair.
On my way to the garden, I'm thinking on how to approach my parents nicely so they will turn down that plan they have in their minds. I might lose my sanity if they strain that idea of them.
But the fact is, I don't really like it. I'm completely against their plan. Not just because I don't want to have a date with random guys out there, but because I don't want to have someone who'll cover up my deeds. Hindi man iyon totoo o ano ay hindi ko gusto ang may sumalo sa bagay na kagaya ng mga iyon para lamang sa kapakanan ko.
I wanted to deal it with myself alone. No cover up. No one that will help me to get rid of it or anything. No one but me. Only me.
Tumigil muna ako sa aking paglalakad para ayusin ang aking hitsura pati na rin ang aking suot bago dumiretso kina mommy at daddy para harapin sila.
Unang nakapansin sa aking presensiya si mommy na nakatanaw banda sa may akin kaya marahil gano'n. Nag-angat siya ng tingin sa akin at ngumiti nang sobrang lawak. I know that smile of her. If I'm not mistaken, that is her smile whenever there's something that excites her. And for now, I guess it's me.
Napangiwi na lamang ako.
"Sweetheart! Come on, join us here!" she said it in a natural way that I'll thought she doesn't have any plan on giving her princess to someone just to have a date.
"Morning, mom," I said instead before I drag a chair in front of my dad's spot.
"So..." I know that this is the start of it. She's going to tell me that damn idea of them.
And to complete my act, I needed to stay quiet as I can. Of course. So they won't think that I'm not going to stick with their plan.
"Dense, sweetie, I know what you're thinking right now," my mom said again.
"Really, mommy?" I can't stop the mocking tone of my voice when I said it. Hindi ko kase mapigilan lalo dahil sa kanyang sinabi.
If she really know what's in my head right now, I bet she already know what will I say about this. She knew that I'm not going to agree with it. That I won't give them any satisfaction regarding this thing called dating.
"Dense," unang salita ni daddy na alam kong hindi nagustuhan ang paraan ng pagsagot ko kay mommy.
"It's just that, dad! Are you two really serious about this? That I'll date a man just to cover me up? Huh! What a right way to escape this shit," I said in a sarcastic way.
"Dense, anak, your language please..." Sa sinabing iyon ni mommy ay inilihis ko ang aking tingin mula sa kanila patungo sa ibang direksiyon.
"But I can handle this alone! I don't need someone that I'll use! You know that I hate using people, right?"
Hindi ko na napigilan pa ang magtaas ng boses sa harap nilang dalawa.
"We know that, but we are not sure if things will work according to what we want," it was my dad. "And don't worry, Dense, you know this man. You don't have to worry about it anymore. His not a stranger," pag-alo niya pa.
They're sure. They're certain with this shit.
"By the way, we are waiting for him to come around, but you're the one who comes first, huh?" Ngiting asong ani daddy.
Hindi na lamang ako nagreklamo pa sa kanila dahil sa sinabing iyon ni daddy. Ang ipinagtataka ko lang ay ang huling mga salitang kanyang sinabi. That there's no need for me to worry about this man I'm going to have a date because I know him. I wonder who he is? I dunno.
"And we're still waiting for him by now?" I asked my mom but she only winked at me.
I just shrugged my shoulder and tilted my head because of her answer. Winked? Really, mommy? What are you, a teenager? I silently laughed because of my own thoughts that interrupted when both of them stand up out of the blue.
"Engineer!" My dad exclaimed.
Sa kuryusidad ko ay tumingin ako sa aking likuran para tignan kung sino ba ang dumating na mukhang sobrang importante naman yata dahil sabay pa silang tumayo para lamang salubungin iyon.
But when I turn my back to face them, I almost lost my breath the moment I meet his bloodshot eyes. I tremble so bad the moment he stared at me for how many seconds. And my legs wobbled the moment his eyes search for my whole being.
Para akong natulos sa aking upuan na hindi ko magawang tumayo para magsalita at batiin siya. Daig ko pa ang biglang binagsakan ng sobrang bigat na bagay para matulala na lamang.
While I'm staring at him now, all I could hear is my heart beating so damn fast. All I could feel is my aching system because of his presence. And I couldn't contain the hurt that shown in my face.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit tila bumalik ako sa araw na iyon dahil sa aking nararamdaman ngayon. Hindi ko mapigilan ang makaramdam ng kirot sa aking puso nang muli kong makita ang mga mata niyang iyon.
I used to stare that pair of black eyes of him with tenderness and assurance that I always admire. Ngunit hindi ko alam kung bakit sa oras na ito ay hindi ko na magawang makita iyon sa kanya. All I could see is his emotionless face yet natural glow.
Pinilit kong tumayo mula sa aking pagkakaupo gamit ang mga paa kong nanginginig. Pinilit kong tumikhim para ayusin ang boses ko na hindi ko mahanap kani-kanina lang para maayos na harapin siya.
I walked towards my parents who're in front of him and chose to stand beside them, so I can hold my mother's hand to avoid the trembling of mine before I speak.
"G-Gil..."
