Her Breaking Point

Chapter 7: Her Truth

WARNING: THIS BOOK CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE, GRAPHIC VIOLENCE, TALK OF SEXUAL ASSAULT, AND CHILD ABUSE. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED OR UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THESE SUBJECTS. KNOWING THIS IF YOU CHOOSE TO READ IF YOU KNOW ANYONE SUFFERING LIKE THIS PLEASE CALL FOR HELP.

(SHORT CHAPTER)

"Haven?" Dr. Turic beckoned. My head snapped to her she was older 50's maybe? she still died her hair brown and her brown eyes were kind as she peered at me with kindness. To be honest I pretended not to hear her question. I just stared at her with confusion begging that she'd not ask it again.

I don't know how to stop the flashbacks. It's why I am here I guess, 21 years old and can barely walk through Walmart without freaking out. "Haven why don't you tell me about the day the abuse started?" she asked softly. I sighed, I am better at talking but now it just seems like I don't have the will to talk. Dr. Turic says it's because I was trained to be quiet and not speak through years of abuse.

While I am better at talking now, it's tiring to talk a lot and my voice gives out every now and then. "I was 13" I whisper "It was the middle of my 8th grade year. My mom had left 2 weeks prior and my brother was already gone for college. I had a friend her name was Susie. Susie and I had a project for science to do so I decided to go to her house to start it.

I texted my dad and headed over to her house. Once we were a good ways done I decided to head home. When I made it home my dad was waiting for me sitting on the stairs"

"Hi daddy, did you have a good day?" I asked with a chipper smile. "Dad?" I asked again when he didn't answer I walked to him and shook his shoulder. "Why are you sitting on the stairs?"

Sharp pain hit my cheek as tears pricked my eyes. "Why did you go that?" I asked as my tears freely flowed. Dad stood up and stepped in front of me. It was then that I looked into his eyes, his brown eyes that used to be so kind were now hardened as he glared at me. Fear settled in my gut and my body now itched to run. Neither of us moved a muscle. I froze in my spot for 2 seconds before bolting for the stairs.

"I made it about I don't know five stairs before he grabbed my hair" my eyes start to feel that familiar painful pressure and heat behind them as I squeeze my eyes shut. "If I close my eyes I can still feel the stinging pain where he picked me up by my hair"

Dad threw me and I landed in the wall, immediate sharp pain flooded my body and I fell to the ground and rolled around in pain. Hot wet tears flooded down my cheeks as I looked at my dad. "Daddy why-" I sobbed as he kicked me my stomach tensing. "Daddy stop please. DADDY NO! DADDY STOP!"

"I screamed and screamed with everything I had trying to get him to stop. I begged and pleaded with every inch of my will. It wasn't until I had stopped crying and was laying on the ground before he leaned down to my face and said 'Never do something without my permission ever again'. When I called him dad he snapped at me and said 'Don't call me that, to you I am sir'. The next morning the rules were up.

You know when I was rescued I thought to myself 'Finally I'll be okay'. I don't even remember what okay is anymore. I flinch if my brother moves too quickly. He had a friend over yesterday and that friend tried to shake my hand and I freaked out. One moment I was flinching from his hand and the next I was in tears on the floor screaming my brothers name. I hadn't even realized I was screaming his name until I was snapped out of it.

How do you fix that? How do I get so that doesn't happen? Try not to be scared of men? I can barely even look my brother in the eye. I have flashbacks every day. Does that sound like I'm rescued to you? All I know is that my mother left me with that monster and didn't even think twice."

"Do you think that makes you bitter? or hold resentment to your mother?" She asks and I scoff.

"Hell yeah I hold resentment for my mother. This is her fault! As much as it is his I spent every day of the past 8 years in hell. She's never even contacted me. 'I'm just going to your aunts really quick to pick up my roast pot. I'll be right back. I will come get you tomorrow and we'll go to the movies like we planned okay?' I said okay mommy and I waited on the stairs for her the entire night until I couldn't stay awake anymore. I called and texted 'We're sorry this number is no longer in service'. So yes I fucking hold resentment for my mother. I could never forgive her for what she did to me, she might as well have condemned me to Hell". I was now sobbing sitting on my therapists couch.

Mom look what's happened. Look at me now, you must be so proud.