Her Breaking Point

Chapter 16: Her Phantom Pain

You know they say phantom pain is something that someone gets when they lose a limb. It still aches as if there is something still there. An arm, or a leg. Sometimes I wonder if that phantom pain also correlates with inner pain.

After I ran to my room last night Easton knocked on the door and tried to get me to open it. But I can't even look at him. I told Lara this was a bad idea. I should've just managed to do it myself. My wounds are almost healed now it's been about two and a half three weeks since I was found.

Time sometimes seems to run together. I looked at myself in the mirror. The blonde hair, green contacts. It wasn't me and I hated it. But I would be lying if there wasn't a sliver of I don't know happiness to not be Haven Scott for a moment. To leave the anger, sadness, and the pain...that phantom pain that aches. My back is almost healed yet it still aches as if the whip was still hitting it. That sound, if I closed my eyes I could hear it so clearly. I still couldn't touch it without flinching. The scars turn my stomach. Disgusting monster.

A tear slid down my cheek as I looked at myself in the mirror. I am nothing but a product of the worlds hate. I knew that. Slowly I touched my sides. The little scars  I got from Charles friends. "Do as your told and I won't kill you. Be a nice girl, my friends like nice girls. You fight and you'll regret it" I could swear he was whispering it in my ear. Charles. His name made my blood quiver. As much as I hate it. He scares me. Little girls fear the boogie man and shadows beneath the bed. I feared the man sleeping down the hall. I feared the man I was supposed to want to protect me from the make believe monsters. Those are child's play compared to the men I knew.

"You're mine. You're nothing. I own you bitch. Never forget that"

"Haven we have to go. We will be late" Westleys voice called out to me. I jumped and wiped my tears. Crying won't do anything. Once I checked myself in the mirror I opened the door.

"Can't a girl use the bathroom in peace?" I ask and he laughs.

"Sure when we aren't pressed for time" he taps his wrist and I roll my eyes.

I slide into my car. Easton and Westley are riding together. My door opens after West pulls out of the driveway. I close my eyes letting my head hit the head rest.

"Haven" Easton says.

"Don't" my voice falters as I put the car in reverse. His hand touches mine and I flinch.

"I'm sorry, for last night. I didn't-" I shake my head at his words.

"No. Look I understand it was a shock. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. It isn't your fault, I just have issues I need to get over" I wanted to say it isn't your fault you think I'm a repulsive monster. Disgusting human being who has been defiled by so many men. It isn't your fault that I'm broken beyond repair.

"No, you went through hell. You are strong, resilient. You deserve the world Haven"

I sigh looking at him. "Did you have to be so cheesy about it?" He looks at me for a moment and laughs.

"I prefer your blue eyes, your dark hair" he says and I nod.

"Me too" but it's nice to pretend I'm not broken. That I'm a normal girl, for once.

I pull out of the drive way and head to school. "You know how we have to act right?" He asks and I glance at him from the side of my eye.

"I'm not completely clueless. I understand the whole ordeal. Kissing, hold hands, coupley stuff. Don't over do it and we'll be fine" I say. I wasn't going to be a stickler about this. This isn't like the movies where I say you can't kiss me. We have to sell being a couple, the only way to do that is to genuinely act like one.

"Coupley?" He asks as we pull into the parking lot. I park next to Westley's car sliding out.

"Yep so hold my hand" I awkwardly move my hand out. He laughs but grabs it sliding his fingers through my own. His hand is warm. It almost feels natural doing this.

Westley joins us rolling his eyes at Easton and I's hands. "Story is we all transferred together because Haven got a scholarship. Keep it short don't add unnecessary details that will be hard to remember. You've been dating for 3 almost 4 years. We've been friends since we were 3 and our moms were best friends. Haven your parents died in a car crash when you were little. It's why you have the scars just in case someone sees them. You were raised by your aunt who lives next door to us. And my mom and her new husband aka Easton's dad are on their honey moon. Both of our parents are divorced. Got it?" He closed the folder as Easton and I nod.

We walked into the school going to the front office. As we get checked in and handed our schedules. A busty brunette walks up to Easton and starts...heavily flirting with him, it's almost embarrassing.

As he gives her short answers I take a drink of water and almost choke on what he says next. "Let me introduce you to my girlfriend. Her name is Haven." The brunettes eyes sweep over me and Easton throws his arm over my shoulders kissing my hair for effect.

"Right..." she drawls. "How long have y'all been dating?" She says a slight country accent fills her voice.

"Almost 4 years now right babe?" He asks. I look up at him giving him a sweet smile. To others it looks like we are in love. But he and I are having a secret conversation in our looks. 'Don't sleep with her' I urged in my glance and he smirks. 'I won't' he winks. I roll my eyes and he kissed my cheek and leans down to whisper in my ear. "Why would I look at her when I'm standing next to you?"

My cheeks were on fire as I elbowed him in the side. "Yeah that's about right" I say giving her a venomous smile. She looks almost embarrassed. Hell any girl would be. 4 years is a long time and that translates to serious. I couldn't help feel the victory in her embarrassment. That's right you feel bad now don't you bitch. If we'd been together 4 months you'd have tried something. She seems like the type. I literally sound like a jealous girlfriend. What is wrong with me?

"I'm gonna love this school" I said sarcastically.

"Me too" they said back with the same tone.