Her Breaking Point

Chapter 26: Her Movie Marathon

"Hurry up!" I shouted to Easton. It's been 4 months since I was in the hospital. I've been going to intense therapy and working every day to help my PTSD. It is definitely a work in progress and some days are good others not so much but focusing on the next step is key.

Wes and Emily started dating about a month after I got out of the hospital. I told Emily everything. Which she was pissed at first but came around eventually. Paul and Lara are expecting a baby girl in 5 months who will be named Amore Dawn. Beautiful Dawn which I helped pick out. Easton had really bad baby fever to the point he was looking up baby babbling videos on YouTube.

I still feel bad because the first time we tried to have sex I had a terrible panic attack and killed the whole mood. We haven't really tried anything since. I feel like he thinks he's gonna hurt me. And trust me it's not from lack of trying. When Wes spent the night with Emily. I came downstairs in slinky lingerie and all he did was cough and ask if I wanted coffee. I'm embarrassed to admit I went to google and looked up how to seduce a man. Not my brightest moment. So I did what it said turned up the AC and wore nothing but his shirt. All that did was get me a heated make out session before he excused himself to take a shower.

I was frustrated. I've tried to talk about it and tell him I'm ready but he keeps avoiding the subject like it's spoiled milk. I sigh as he makes his way into the living room with the popcorn. We were currently on a marvel binge. Age of Ultron. Where I haven't seen many movies every Friday Easton and I have a movie marathon date. Wes all but lives at Emily's. He tries to act like we don't notice when he uses stupid excuses to go over there.

"Emily's drain is clogged"

"Emily needs help washing her car"

"Emily needs to go grocery shopping"

Easton and I just humor him at this point happy to have the alone time. "Obi come on dude" Easton complains as Obi readjusts to sit closer to me on the couch. My legs are currently under a blanket with the arm rest on my left and Obi on my right. Obi huffs in response and gets off. I shuffle over so Easton is on my left and I kick my legs out inviting Obi back on the couch.

Half way into the movie I pause it. "What was that it was getting to the good part?" He says. I shuffle to face him and take a deep breath. I grab the popcorn setting it on the coffee table.

"I have something to tell you" I say and he freezes.

"Uhh okay" he mutters. I grab his hand and hold it. "Oh no grabbing my hand and looking at me thoughtfully. This can't be good" he shuffles.

"The time we met in the hallway at school wasn't the first time I...encountered you" I mutter. His eyebrows pierced together as he looks at me in confusion before realization takes over his face.

"Oh the window at Paul's house? I wouldn't call that an encounter more like a sighting. I would count us being in the same area as an encounter" he says guessing. I sucked my lips into my mouth.

"Okay so the day we met do you remember doing anything in particular?" He thought for a moment and shook his head.

"No"

"Think babe, it would be in the storage closet vicinity"

He thought and then his face went paper white. "Oh no"

"Oh yes...we actually I think it went 'oh yes Easton harder' so-" I mocked with a nasally voice making sure it was the same pitch. He covered my mouth and made a disgusted face.

"Oh god" he said covering his face with his hands.

"Yeah she said that too"

"Please stop how did you make it through that" his face was as red as a tomato.

"Well I sang my little pony in my head so that helped. It was all I really remembered and it was the first thing that came to mind" he took a pillow and covered his face.

"You okay?" I asked and he groaned.

"Let's never talk about this again"

"Well I have a reason for bringing it up" I say. The words starting to die in my throat.

He didn't speak letting me continue. "Is it because that I don't um- look like her that you don't want me like that? Cause I don't really have experience when it comes to- god how do I say it. I don't have experience when both parties are participating and I know it's probably really gross for you to think about-"

"Woah stop stop stop. First and foremost, you do not disgust me. The perverts who don't know the word 'no' disgust me. What they did to you disgusts me because I want to beat the living shit out of every single one of them. Officer Pruitt looking for them isn't enough I want to make them suffer. But no never think you disgust me. You amaze me Haven. You have more strength and wisdom that I ever thought a human being could have. You are beautiful. Scars and all. Don't ever think that I think you're disgusting because that is the furthest thing from the truth.

And as for the other thing, it isn't that I don't want you...trust me. I want you all of the time. But I also understand that the things you have been through take time to heal from. I don't want to cross those boundaries on accident and I don't want to ever make you feel like you have to do something you don't want to do. Look it isn't about sex for me. Is it a great add on? Sure but for a while I really saw sex as a way to get away from my problems and not feel anything other than what I was doing. I don't want it to be like that with you, it can't be. It means more, you mean more. I will wait as long as you need to feel comfortable with me and with everything we do. I don't need sex with you to be with you.

I should've communicated better when it came to that but I didn't want you to think you have an obligation because you don't. Look sex should me intimate and cherished and I understand that now more than ever. I want to be close to you in that way of course I do. Don't question whether or not I want you. But I know that you need to heal and I am happy to help you do that. Being here with you. Watching movies, spending time, playing silly board games and cards, making dinner and sundaes, just laying in bed and talking. Every single one of those things. Every single one. Means way more to me than sex ever could. I don't love you for the things you can give me...I love you for who you are" he kisses me and my heart melts. I hadn't noticed I was crying until he wiped my tears.

Never would I have expected that from him. His answer was so heart felt. And genuine. God I love him.

"But on a side note did you have to bring up the fact that I slept with another girl in a trashy storage closet to bring that up?" He asked and I laughed.

"I wanted to ease into it and I didn't know how else to do it" he laughed with me this time.

"Look whenever you're ready...we will take it as slow as you need and we will get through it...together, always" he said. My heart melted again. I was truly putty in his hands.

I kissed him deeply. Our kiss turned passionate "I'm ready now" I whisper.

"Are you sure?" He said hesitating. "I don't want-"

"Easton" I said.

"Yeah?"

"Just shut up and take me to bed already" he smiled and nodded.

And we took it slow. He asked if I was okay multiple times. He was so caring and kind and it felt so good to be close to him that way. Safe to say...we didn't finish the movie, but I'm not gonna lie...I'm totally okay with that.