Jojo's Bizarre Adventure One Shots

|Maybe|Johnny Joestar

"You, the bane of my existence. I will always, always love you. But you also cause me so much misery, and sadness, and confusion. Why do you have this hold on me. All these years, all this time. It fades, you know. It faded. All those years I didn't see you, wasn't around you, I didn't think of you. I had all these options, made all these mistakes, it was a different pain. But ever since we reconnected, Johnny, just one year ago. . .every time I see you. . ." I sigh. "I both love and am vexed by you. I am excited, yet when I leave I am so confused. You appear to love me when we're together, but act so different when we're apart. You have all these girls, all these friends, hell, you're famous, of course you do. And I'm engaged. We, as much as I want it, as much as I've always wanted it, we're just not meant to be, I think."

He looks to the ground, baffled at all my words, and then he looks up, into my eyes. "(F/n), I don't. . .I really don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything, Johnny. I just needed to tell you. I need to be happy in my marriage, and I wouldn't be able to do that without telling you. I needed to get this off my chest."
"I've only ever seen you as a friend. I'm sorry if I led you on with my playfulness." I nod in understanding.
"I never thought anything would come out of this. And I'm sorry if I put you in an awkward situation. I don't want to ruin our-"
"No, you didn't ruin our friendship by telling me this. I actually respect you for coming forward with your feelings. It's not something many people can do."
"Okay."

We stand there, in silence. Unknowing what more to say to each other.

"Did this change anything?" he asks. I look at him confused.
"What do you mean?"
"With the man you're going to marry. You said you needed to tell me to be happy with him." I nod. "So you told me, are you feeling any better about it now?"
"Johnny, this sort of stuff doesn't happen immediately."
"But wouldn't it? Wouldn't you feel relief? Do you?" I stare at him, not being able to answer. "I'm guessing that's a no then?" He sighs. "Why are you with him then, if you're not happy in the relationship?"
"I don't know if I'm happy!" I yell. "I don't know anything. Because it was bliss, it was beautiful in the beginning. Now he's off overseas to attend to his business for a few months and I've had time to think about my relationship. I've been exposed to different possibilities and paths my life could take. I've been infatuated with you. I think loving another man, when you're already with one. . .I think it shows that. . .it shows that, I don't know. I'm horrible." I put my hands to my face. He places a hand on my shoulder.
"You're not horrible. You're young. You're learning. I think we think that we have to have our lives all figured out right now, but we don't. And that's why people rush, and never enjoy the journey, the adventure. And then you're stuck."
"I've felt like I've always been stuck." He pulls me in for a hug, and I hold on tight. Wishing this is the man I could go to every day. The one who's had so much experience already, who can show me different things, to give me adventure in my life. To teach me all about horses and riding.

"I think you should leave him. I don't think he's the man for you."
"What?"
"I know, it's not my place. But, I just want you to be happy."
"But if I leave him, I'll have no one. And I'll leave him so heartbroken, I don't want to do that."
"No one wants to break another person's heart. But it's for your own good. You have to look out for yourself above anyone else."
"I don't want to be alone."
"You won't be."
"Yes, I will be."
"(F/n), you feel alone because you surround yourself with not so good people, I know. I'm one of them." I laugh. "But seriously, you need to branch. Change your mentality. Meet new people, try new things. Don't be afraid, even of being alone. You once told me you didn't want a relationship, that you wanted to work on yourself first, above all else. I get that, I'm not ready, nor want a relationship right now. Do what you thinks best for you." He looks at the clock. "I've gotta get ready for the race. But I will see you later okay?" I nod. He pulls me in for one last hug.
"Break a leg, Johnny."
"Hey, don't jinx it." He walks off, heading towards his big race. He stops and turns back to me. "Hey, and even if it's not in the same way, I love you too." I smile. That might not be enough for me right now but I know it will be. Life is just a series of complicated events that we can make even more complicated. If it is meant to be with Johnny, it will be in the future. That wuld be amazing. But if it's not, then it's not. I will wait, for my fiance, to decide what to do. But if I don't think we will last, then it's better to break if off sooner rather than later.

Maybe everything will work out the way I want. Maybe not. Life is just a big maybe.