Today Jack said so many nice things about me. I couldn't believe the things he said. It seemed like he read it out of a romance novel.
"Ella? Ella Dillion?" The substitute teacher calls out. He was taking attendance.
"Here." I say and look back at my paper. He moved on.
"Jack Gilinsky?" Jack Johnson says
"Here."
"Jack Johnson?"
"Here." Jack Gilinsky says. The class laughs and the teacher looks confused. I just work on my things and block out everything that was going on around me.
"Okay today you guys pretty much just finish Chapter 3.2 and do your sheets he passed out last time. So get working." The sub says and we begin working. I pull out my headphones and begin working. Everything came to me like a plate of Brussels sprouts. Awful. Math was never my strongest subject. It's my worst. I was trying to figure out the problem and still got the wrong answer. This is useless trying to do this. I'll get a zero on the assignment anyway.
While I was still trying to figure out problem 3 people were turning in their assignments or almost to that point. There were 20 questions in all.
About 5 minutes someone sits in the seat next to me.
"Do you need help?" He asks. It was Jack G. I nod and show him my paper.
"You know what you're doing it's just that you forget to carry your numbers. See. You forgot to carry 6." He writes it down and gets the answer. I look at my paper and sigh. I can't believe I'm doing that. I write it down on my paper and try the next problem. I get it quickly with Jack's help. He helps me with the rest of my paper and we finish it in 10 minutes.
"Thanks." I say and get up to turn in my paper.
Class ends shortly and I'm off to the rest of the day. Can't wait! I honestly hate school. It's turned me into an awful person. It also makes me see things way differently. Like when I look at people, I don't see them...I see their flaws and their struggles. The girl I walk past had an eating disorder. She's skinny and frail. She's afraid to be picked on for being to big. Now she gets picked on for being to skinny. This boy, he's in a band. He plays the guitar or bass based on the blisters, scratches on his finger tips. He gets into trouble for, I look at the clothes he's wearing, for stealing money even though his parents would buy him anything he wanted.
If I looked at myself in the mirror I would see a girl who hides behind an act. She puts up this tough girl act to cover up her true feelings. She won't let anyone get close to her. She won't trust anyone because she doesn't want to loose them.
Yet I let one person in. I haven't told them everything but I might eventually, and I can't let myself do that because then I'll loose them. They'll leave me because it's too hard, or they find someone better. I just can't loose anymore people. I can't believe I have let Jack Gilinsky into my life even the smallest bit. I don't want to loose him. I won't. He won't be anything important to me. Then if I do loose him then it's not going to hurt.
After my last class I go to my locker and get ready to go home when I realize I didn't have my car. I look for Jack and finally find him. "Hey...could you give me a ride home? I forgot I didn't drive here."
"Of course. Could you sit through the football practice though?" He asks me. I nod and we walk out to his car.
"So practice will be short today since I've got somewhere to be." He says to the players. They nod and Jack tells them what to work on. They begin practicing and Jack coaches them.
"You're a good coach." I say as I pick up a soccer ball that was sitting on the field.
"Thanks." He says while he's looking out at the players.
"Why aren't you playing football for the school?" I ask him.
"I got hurt bad two years ago and I didn't want to risk getting hurt like that again." He tells me. I nod and juggle the soccer ball. He looks over at me.
"You're really good at that." He says watching me. I was only using my feet. I kick it up to my knees and use them along with my chest. "Okay you're amazing at that." She says smiling. I smile and stop. "You should try out for the soccer team. You'd be really good." He says picking up a clip board. I sit down on the bench behind us while Jack pauses the boys.
"Alright guys you did great last game but I noticed that our tackles weren't very nice. They were more of us ramming ourself into them. If we get our tackles good then we can get them down every time." He explains to them. They listen to him when he explains on how to properly tackle.
"I still don't get it!" One kid shouts.
"Shut up Billy!" Another complains.
Jack chuckles. "Alright Ella can you come help me?" He asks. I stand up and walk over to him. He turns me towards him. "Okay you want to wrap your arms like this. He wraps his around my back and slowly brings me to the ground. When he touched me I got this numb feeling. I liked it. I liked it a lot. "Like that. I want you guys to practice that while running your drills." He says and the kids get to work.
After practice was done I help pack his equipment into his car.
"Thanks for helping me." He says. I nod and watch for Jared. He finally comes out. When he turns towards me I see a bruise on the right side of his face. I quickly run up to him.
"Are you okay? Where'd you get that bruise?" I ask him examining his face.
"I'm fine." He says pushing me away from him. "And I got it thanks to you." He says and walks over to Jack's car and gets in. I stand there in shock. I walk over and get in Jack's car also.
"I'm sorry." I say quietly looking at Jared through the rearview mirror. His eyes burn holes into the back of my head as he just stares at me. It's all my fault. It always is. Isn't it?
"Thanks for the ride." Jared says as he gets out of the car.
"Anytime." Jack says. I start to get out when he grabs my wrist.
"Hey text me if you need anything. Anything at all and I'll be right there with it." He says. I nods and get out.
"Thanks." I say quietly. He nods and pulls away.
When I enter my house I hear voices. My mom's and Jared's. I walk into the kitchen where they're both sitting. "Hi." I say to my mom and she smiles a little.
"Hi honey. How are feeling?" She asks me.
"I'm okay." I say and look over at Jared who looks angry. "Jared I'm sorry dad hit you. I didn't know it would happen." I say to him.
"Of course you knew it wouldn't happen. But you had to run off somewhere. Why not just run to your room huh? Instead you left which left me or mom to deal with and he wouldn't hit mom so it left me!" He shouts.
"I'm sorry! I didn't want you to get hurt!"
"Save it Ella. I've got to go get ready." He says and storms up the stairs.
"Get ready? Get ready for what?" I ask my mom.
"We have another dinner party to go to. It's black tie again. There's a new dress on your bed that I got for you since we didn't find one when we went shopping." She tells me. I nod and go upstairs to go get ready for yet another stupid dinner party.
