Behind the Fame

At the Hospital

Sara

How did I allow this to happen? I was so selfish. I promised to love her. I promised to keep her safe. I promised to take care of her. I failed. Big time! I held her hand as she was lying on the hospital bed with several IV drips attached to her. The doctors sedated her to allow her body to recuperate.

I kept crying until a nurse knocked on the door to check her vitals. "Hi, I'm sorry. I, uhm, I just need to check her vitals and her IV, if that's okay?"

"Yes please, don't worry that's fine. Go do your thing. Thank you."

"You know she really is beautiful despite her extreme loss of weight."

"She is --- She's so... Stunning... When you get to know her, she has the most beautiful heart too."

"I am a huge fan of hers, you know and when I found out she was here, my hearts sank knowing she was not doing well. I know I should be happy because I am her nurse but seeing her like this...."

"I know and thank you for your genuine concern. Thank you for making sure she gets her privacy too."

"Anything for her. Anyway, everything seems good. I will be outside if you need anything. She should be awake in an hour or two, as soon as the effect of the sedative dies out."

"Thank you so much."

As the nurse closed the door when she left, I went back holding her hand and cried, moving her hand to my face, kissing and feeling it. I missed her touch, her kiss, her smile, everything.

"Jessica, Baby... I am really sorry. I was selfish. I only thought about myself without thinking about how this affects you too. I broke too many promises Baby, please forgive me. I vowed to always keep you safe and look where you are now. All you did was take care of me, protect me, be there for me and this is what I give you in return. I'm really sorry. I love you so much. Baby... Will you ever forgive me?"

I kept crying. For hours. And I just kept on apologizing to her. I feel like a lifetime is not even enough.

My phone rang and saw it was Eric calling.

"Hey Eric..."

"Hey Sara. How is Jessica?"

"She's still sedated but her color is slowly coming back but she still looks so thin..."

"I'm actually on my way there. Anything you want to eat? It's almost lunch. By the way would you know if Jessica is allowed solids? I can grab something for her too."

"The doctor said they need to complete her NGT feeding first before we can switch to solids. If I'm not mistaken that'll be by tonight or tomorrow morning. As for me, I don't feel like eating."

"Sara. You need to eat. You're pregnant. Also, do you want to be in a hospital bed too?"

"Yeah, you're right. Anything then, thank you."

"Okay I'll see you in a few. I love you.

"I love you too Eric." Then we both hung up. I sat by Jessica's bed and laid my head on her leg.

"How's Jessica?" Someone asked, coming in the room. I looked up and saw Ellen, Sandra, Justin, Sarah, Camilla, Chandra, and Patrick.

"You guys are here... Thank you for coming. But how did you guys know?" I said as I stood up to hug each one of them.