This Is Me Trying

Chapter Eight

Danielle

"Come on Betty. Where the fuck are you?" I muttered as Stefania and I drove around looking for her.
"Bambina it's going to be okay. We'll find her." Stefania reached over and squeezed my hand.
"This is all my fault. I shouldn't have let her run off. I should've went with her."

"Danielle stop it. Right now. You did everything you could. We're going to find her." Stefania scolded me.

I pulled the car over and put it in park. "Think Danielle, think. Where would Betty go when she gets upset?"
I gasped as I remembered a place she might go, "The baseball field. She said her and her Dad went there every year for her birthday." I put the car in drive and sped towards the baseball field.

Betty

I can't believe I ran. I just fucked up my first big break. Now I'll never be able to save money and move out of my Mom's house. I kicked the dirt and rubbed my face.

"Betty!" I heard Danielle yell. I heard a car door slam and footsteps running towards me.
"Danielle please leave." I couldn't look at her.
"Betty, sweetie, please come back to work with me."
"Danielle, I'm asking you to please leave." I started to walk across the field but she ran in front of me and stopped me.
"Betty, talk to me."
"Just fucking leave! You don't need to worry about me! I can deal with this shit by myself!" I shouted at her.
"You don't need to deal with it by yourself! Let me help you Betty!"
"Why do you care so much? Am I just a fucking charity case to you? Something to make you feel good about yourself?" I scoffed and went to move around her but she stepped in front of me again.

"It's nothing like that Betty. You're an amazing kid. You've got a good heart. You don't deserve to be treated the way you've been treated. I care about you B. Please, just let me help you."

I felt the hot tears running down my face as I looked up to the sky, taking a shaky breath.

"Betty, please." Danielle stepped closer and put her hands on my face, making me look at her.
"Please, let me help you. Let yourself be loved."

I broke down in sobs as I wrapped my arms around Danielle.
"It's okay sweet girl. I got you." She whispered as she rubbed my back.
"I'm sorry Danielle." My voice broke as I spoke.

"Hey, don't be sorry. I got you. It's okay." She kissed the top of my head.
"You wanna go home? I'll call Krista and tell her we'll be back in tomorrow."
"Wait you're taking me home? Please don't make me go back there right now Danielle! Please I'm sorry I won't run again I won't yell at you again I won't-"
"Whoa Betty! My home is your home too. Come on. Let's go to our house." She took my hand and let me back to the car.

Stefania gave me a small smile as Danielle and I got in the car.

Danielle

"Are you hungry bambina?"
"No thanks. I just wanna take a nap." Betty muttered as she walked off to her room.

I sat on the couch with my head in my hands.

"Bella, talk to me." I felt Stefania sit down next to me and put her hand on my back.
"What am I doing wrong, Stef?"
"What do you mean?"
"I'm not doing enough. She's still not happy. I'm failing at whatever this situation is." I moved my hand to motion between Betty and I.

"Danielle, you're doing amazing. You need to quit doubting yourself."
"I'm sorry. I'm putting all this pressure on you too. I'm sure you have better things to do than to sit here with me." I started to stand up but Stefania pulled me back down onto the couch.

"What are you talking about? I love spending time with you bambina."
"Stef, I don't deserve you. I'm a mess, I'm broken, I'm just-"

Stefania silenced me by gently pressing her lips against mine. I relaxed into her body when she pulled me into her arms and hugged me right.

"I think you're wonderful, bambina." She whispered in my ear.
"Thank you." I kissed her cheek and pulled out of the hug.
"Why don't I order us some Chinese and you go wake up Betty? We can watch movies and eat ice cream and candy."
"I like the sound of that. I'll go get her." I gave her a kiss and walked to Betty's room.

"Betty sweetie? Can I come in?"
"Yeah."

I walked in and saw her laying under her covers in the dark.

"Hey, Stefania is gonna order us Chinese and we're gonna stay up watching movies." I sat on her bed.
"I'm not hungry." She muttered into her pillow.

"Can you please try to eat for me? You haven't had anything to eat all day."
"I don't think I can."
"Can you explain that?" I laid on her bed next to her.

"Dani... I don't want you to know how messed up I really am."
"You're not messed up Betty. You've just been through a lot. I have too. I know some of what you're feeling."
"You do?" She peeked her head up a little bit.
"Of course sweetie. We all have our issues. I go to therapy a couple days a week for them. It really helps."

Betty

I sat up and rubbed my face with my hands.
"I have an eating disorder. Had? I don't know. I was anorexic. I was eleven when I got diagnosed, twelve when I finally beat it. Just... I know it shouldn't bother me, but hearing him call me fat, and suggest that I lose weight, all those feelings and urges came back."
"Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me B. You don't need to lose weight. You're beautiful just the way you are. And beauty isn't everything kid. You're funny, you're kind, you're an amazing actress, you're smart, I mean look at you! You graduated high school at fifteen! And you speak two languages! You've got so much going for you. Don't let people's comments get in the way of your happiness."

"Thank you Dani. For everything." I wrapped my arms around her in a hug.
"I wouldn't have it any other way kid. Now come on, let's go out there with Stef."

We got out of bed and made our way to the living room.
"Ciao bambini." Stefania smiled at us as I sat in the chair and Danielle sat next to her on the couch.

"Can I ask you two a question?" I asked.
"Of course. What's up kid?"
"Are you two dating now?"

"Uh- I- we haven't talked about that yet." Danielle's face turned red.
"Non ancora. Ma mi piacerebbe uscire con Danielle." Stefania told me. (Not yet. But I would love to date Danielle.)

"Allora perché non le chiedi semplicemente di essere la tua ragazza? Non è quello che volete entrambi?" (Then why don't you just ask her to be your girlfriend? Isn't that what you both want?)
"Sì. Ma è complicato a causa del lavoro." (Yes. But it's complicated because of work.)

"Okay that's enough Italian. I don't understand a word either one of you are saying." Danielle crossed her arms and pouted.
"Don't worry about it bella." Stefania squeezed Danielle's hand and winked at me.