This Is Me Trying

Chapter Forty-Three

Betty

"Finally! All my stuff is here." I stood back and looked at the closet that was half mine, half Kaya's.
"You weren't kidding when you said you didn't have a whole lot." Kaya said as she dusted off my favorite baseball and set it on the shelf she had hung.
"I didn't have anything except for that baseball when I moved in with Danielle." I shrugged as I sat on the bed.
"You're so strong. To go through everything you've went through and still be here. You're strong." Kaya walked over to me and stood between my legs.
"Grazie bambina. It's been hard, but my family has helped me through everything. Just like I'll help you through everything."
"What did I do to deserve you?" Kaya asked with a smile.

"Gee. I don't know. I am pretty great, aren't I?" I asked with a laugh.
"Sì. That you are."

A few days later, at the funeral.

"Are you ready to do this?" I asked as we walked into the funeral home hand in hand.
"Yeah. Now or never right?"

We walked into the room, and saw Barrett and immediately walked over.
"Hey sis." Kaya hugged Barrett tightly.
"Hey. You good?" Barrett asked.
"I'm good." Kaya turned and grabbed my hand again, staring at the casket.
"You wanna go see her?" I whispered.
"Will you-" Her voice cracked and I gave her a small nod.
She tightened her grip on my hand as we slowly walked up to the casket.

Kaya looked a lot like her Mom, except younger.
They both had the exact same facial features. It was almost like looking at twins.
"Kaya. You came."

We turned and I saw Kaya's face turn into a scowl. I guess that was her Dad.
"Why are you here?" She asked.
"She was my wife. The mother of my child. I had to be here."
"Yeah well where the hell have you been the last fifteen years?"
"Kaya. Not here." I whispered in her ear.

"You're right babe. Let's go." Kaya led us over to Barrett and gave her another hug.
"I tried. I can't be here when he's here. I love you." She told Barrett before leading me outside.

"Kaya. Wait!" We heard her Dad about as we got in the car.
"Don't. You don't get to try to make yourself feel better. You left me there with that monster. You did this. I used to miss you. I really did. Now, I couldn't care less. Do me a favor, and stay the hell away from us."

Kaya got in the car, and started the engine. She watched as her Dad walked away. As soon as he was inside, she broke down.
"Shh. I got you. I got you." I whispered as I pulled her as close as I could in the car.

Danielle
Three months later

"Danielle? Can I talk to you?" Kaya walked up to me nervously.
"Sure, what's up?" I put down my script and focused on her.
"Can we go to your trailer? Please?" She asked with a shaky voice.
I nodded and quickly led her to my trailer, locking the door behind us.
"Kaya, what's wrong?"

She broke down in tears as she sat down on the couch, putting her head in her hands.
"Oh sweetie, talk to me. What's wrong?" I walked over to her and sat down, rubbing her back gently.
"I-I've been having these weird pains in my breast. And I felt a lump."

I felt my heart drop to my stomach.

"So I went to the doctor, and got some tests done." She looked up at me with tears rolling down her face.
"No. Does Betty know?" I asked gently.
"No. I can't tell her. I can't lose her. I love her so much." Kaya cried out.
"Oh baby. I know my daughter. And she loves you so much. She's not going to run because of this. Okay? You're not going to lose her." I pulled her into a crushing hug.

"What are the doctor's planning?" I whispered.
"They gave me a choice. Either chemo, or a mastectomy." She chuckled quietly. "I'm nineteen years old. And I've got fucking breast cancer."
"Kaya-"
"I mean, how hilarious is that! I survived the hell my Mom put me through, then she dies, and now I have breast cancer." She laughed out loud.

I sat there and nodded slowly.
"You have cancer, Kaya."
"I have cancer." Her smile faltered, then tears filled her eyes. "I have cancer."

Betty

"Hey bambina! Are you ready to go home?" I walked up behind Kaya and wrapped my arms around her.
"Yeah. I'm ready." She pulled away and grabbed my hand.
"Babe? What's wrong?" I asked.
"Your Moms are coming over when we get home." She said as we walked to the car.

"Who died?"
"Nobody die- Why do you always ask that?"
"I don't know. I just prepare myself for the worst."
"Come on my love. Let's get you home." Kaya flashed me a fake smile as she opened my car door.

The drive home was silent. I was so nervous that I felt like I could puke. Something was wrong. Something wasn't right.

We pulled up to the house, and got out of the car.
Danielle and Stefania's car was already here, so I figured they were inside.
"Mom? Mamma?" I called out as we walked into the house.
"What's wrong? Why is everyone here?" I asked as Kaya and I walked in to see Danielle, Stefania, Jaina, and Barrett in the living room.

"Sit down babe." Kaya took my hand and sat me down on the chair, squatting down in front of me.
"Betty, I love you." Kaya started.
"I love you too. What's wrong bambina?" I reached our and cupped her face.
"I have breast cancer. Stage two."

I felt my heart sink to my stomach as tears filled my eyes.
"What?"
"When I went to the doctor. I was having tests done. They found out it was stage two breast cancer." A tear ran down her face.
"Oh bambina." I quickly wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into my lap.

We both sobbed into each other's arms, holding each other tight.
"I love you. We're gonna fight this. We got this." I whispered in her ear.

Kaya pulled back and got off my lap.
"Betty. You don't have to stay. This is your chance to get out." Kaya said with tears rolling down her face.
"What?"
"I'm giving you an out. This is a lot for someone to take in. I'm gonna be sick. I'm gonna have to have surgery. I'm-"
"Shut up, Kaya."

"Betty, this is your chance. You can run. I'll understand."
"Shut up! I'm not running because I'm in love with you damn it!" I exclaimed as I shot out of my seat.
I quickly walked upstairs to our bedroom, and grabbed what I had been hiding for the past month.
I ran down the stairs and back into the living room.
"Damn it Kaya. I love you so fucking much. You are the love of my life. My one and only. I don't want anyone else but you. I am completely and totally, in love with you." I pulled out the ring from the box and got down on one knee.
"And I'll love you in sickness and in health. For better or for worse. Till death do us part. I promise to always eat the burnt grilled cheese that you make, and tell you how much I love the expresso. I'll love you when we're old, grey and wrinkly. Kaya Doss, will you marry me?"