Better Than Drugs - Dabi x Reader

Chapter 4

My alarm went off, and I hit snooze. It was Monday morning meaning I had classes. I closed my eyes and rolled over in bed. Memories of what happened yesterday appeared. Zion scolded me the next morning for how I acted. She was also mad at me for drinking so much again.

She also threatened to never take me to another party.

My chest was heavy and I wasn't in the mood. I felt drained and kind of foul. I didn't want to see anyone or do anything. I just wanted to stay in bed, but I couldn't. I pulled the sheets off of me and walked over to my dresser.

I pulled out a pair of black sweatpants and put them on. I went to my closet and pulled out a matching hoodie. I went into the bathroom, brush my teeth, and threw the hood on my head.

I would wake up like this sometimes and it would last a while. It lingers from a few days to a couple of months. It was random. It would get progressively worse sometimes, but nothing too serious.

Well, I never thought it was serious. Family and friends would tell me I need to see someone for it. I never did, though.

I grabbed my backpack, along with my phone and earbuds. I put them into my bag and grabbed my car keys. I walked out the front door and headed to my car. I looked around at the parking lot, taking in my surroundings. It was quiet. There wasn't anyone around.

I got in my car and put my backpack in the passenger seat. The drive to the campus was about 10 minutes. I found a parking spot near the science building and parked the car. I sat in my car for a little, the feeling getting worse.

I think I'm getting depressed again. Maybe I was already depressed, but I just noticed it. I don't know.

I sighed and grabbed my backpack. I turned off the car and got out, locking it behind me. I grabbed my phone and plugged my earbuds in. I put them in and searched through my music. After looking for a minute, I finally put on Man Of The Year by Dance Gavin Dance.

Walking into the building, I walked towards my class. Entering the lecture room, I took a seat on the far side of the room in the middle row. I set my bag down and put my head down into my arms.

My chest felt like a spiral. Everything felt cold and distant. This feeling of loneliness and wanting to be alone was making it hard to be here. My thoughts were racing so fast.

Why am I feeling this way again?

I don't want to deal with this.

I wish I wasn't here.

I wish I wasn't sober.

Just like that, the feeling of wanting to be intoxicated hit me. It wasn't intense, but it was like an annoying fly. This feeling was a little different. I didn't want alcohol. I wanted something new.

Thoughts of that girl at the party on Saturday filled my head, too. The way she looked so free when her head was held back in the air. The deep inhale she did when she snorted the drug. It was mesmerizing.

The way Hawks' hand was over my eyes and dragging me out of the room. He knew what I was thinking. He didn't want me to follow in her steps. I don't think he would be able to stop me if I ever did it. Nor did I care.

I picked my head up and I saw the professor walk into the room. I picked my head up and pulled one earbud out. I checked my phone as the song ended and I put my playlist on shuffle.

Sex With a Ghost by Teddy Hyde.

I put my phone down and looked at the professor. He wasn't anything special. He was really into Psychology, though. This is what I'm majoring in, and I didn't feel like focusing today. I wanted to go home and get back in my covers.