Dangerously Sweet.

Chapter thirty : Persistance and delema.

Back to Acacia's POV

 “Just think about it! Jared could be right! You could be in love with someone and not even know it! You could love Lyle, Jared, or some guy I don't know but take a minute and actually think about it! Who do you love?”

I looked at his eyes absolutely afraid. I wasn't afraid of him I was afraid of what he was making me do. I was afraid of the wheels turning in my head. I was afraid to face reality, the reality that didn't have to do with my past. I was afraid to move forward. I was afraid and too traumatized to move forward. There was something in his eyes though. There was something begging me to pull up the curtain and take a glimpse into the future. As afraid as I was I did it.

Did I love Lyle? Sure I admit I guess in a way I like him. The way he holds me makes me feel safe. They was he treats me like I'm so strong and unbreakable. The way he looks at me like he can see right through me. The way his hand feels around mine. The way his breath feels on my neck when we hug. It feels right and makes my heart skip but not enough to change anything.

Do I love Jared? The way he always makes me smile, inside my mind. The way he treats me and protects me. The way his lips feel on mine. The way my body fits into his. The way he smells. The way he can be so modest and blush yet still look manly and handsome. The way his smile dazzles me. The way his eyes hypnotize me. The way he always knows how to make me happy. The way his hands over my body send chills down my spine. The way I just know he's watching me. The way he can take control when the moment is needed. The way my heart beats faster when he's around. Still it's not enough. Only enough to call it like.

Do I love Caden? I think this is the answer that scares me most of all. He always knows what I'm thinking. He can always make me happy. When we have a stare off it's like I'm glued to his eyes while he hypnotizes me. They way him just staring at me sends shivers through out my body. Whenever we're together the time flies by and when it's time for bed I find myself very disappointed. The way his music always seems to calm me down. The way his hand hovers over my skin like if he touches me I'll disappear. They way we're always in some sort of contact. The way he always tries to make me feel better. The way he worries. The way his smile makes me does stupid things. The way his laughter makes me gaze at him in wonder, how can such an amazing person are born? The way his pink lips tempt me. The way they taste. The way his tongue against mine sent sparks and butterflies and bells and fireworks into my body. The way he says my name. The way he knows that I'm strong but still breakable. The way his breath feels on my skin. The way his touch makes my heart skip then jump and speed down the track. The way our bodies fit perfectly against each other. The way he blushes but acts tough when he sees me half naked. The way I always wonder what he's thinking. The way he makes me curious. The way he sometimes acts like a gentleman from the 14 century. The way his hair falls into his eyes. The way he speaks about me. The way he... I took a deep strangled breath in. The way my heart and body reacted when he said he loved me. Is it enough? Is it really enough? Can it change anything? Should I let it? I want him. I do. I... I think it might be a little more than like but... I never noticed before.

“Have you figured it out?” Caden whispered broken. I looked up at him. What was I going to say? Yes? No? Lyle? Jared? You? Break his heart because I don't deserve love and he deserves better? Be his girlfriend and wait until he breaks my heart because I deserve it? He said he didn't want anything from me...

“You deserve better.” I whisper.

“I deserve whatever I want. No one's going to tell me what I do or don't deserve. If I want you and you want me then we deserve each other.” Caden's voice was hard as stone. It struck a note of fear in me but I knew he wouldn't hurt me.

“You deserve better, Caden. I'm hurt and broken. Used and abused. Cold and alone. Turn and taped. I'm” I shook my head unable to fully get my point across. “I'm no good for you. You wouldn't buy a broken and used phone or something.”

“Then it's a good thing I'm not buying a phone or something.” He mocked trying to lighten the air.

“You said you didn't want anything from me.” I put my hands on his chest lightly pushing him away. He did say that didn't he. He said he only wanted me to smile. He didn't say anything else. He didn't say he wanted me to be his girlfriend or admit my love for him. Admit?

Caden quickly stepped away and looked at me wide eyed. “I don't! I just want you to smile. Never mind. All I want from you is trust. I just want your trust so I can make you smile.” His hand trailed down the left side of my face before cupping my cheek.

“Just trust?” I asked, my voice shaking.

“Just trust.” He said with a small smile on his lips.

I took a nervous step backwards. “Fine. Just trust.” I turned and walked into the woods making my way back to the beach. I had forgotten where, why and with whom we were here with until I heard everyone laughing and talking.