Dangerously Sweet.

Reconcile with the past.

Reconcile with the past.

             I woke up groggy. My mouth had that nasty morning taste and I momentarily wondered if I had morning breath. I looked around as remembered I was in the hospital. I sat up to looked at the IV in my hand. I'm not sure how long I sat there just staring at it until I finally had to use the bathroom. I rang the nurse and was happy to see it was not one of those nurses that believed my mother when she said I was crazy. She smiled and said she was happy to see me alive seeing as in I had slept through basically two days. That was when I realized it was dark outside and my curtains were open to reveal the full moon shining bright. I told the nurse if she could take the IV out. She said she should ask the doctor but and if I had to pee I had to take the whole thing with me.

            I stepped off the bed and almost fell on the floor. I felt so weak. The nurse said it was probably because of the lack of blood circulation and because of the amount of blood I lost. I took a testing step and then another one. I made it to the bath room without hurting myself. It felt strange walking. It’s been three days since I last walked and it just didn't feel right. I didn't like it. I hate lying or sitting for too long unless I’m sleeping.

            I walked out the bathroom and decided to do a couple exercise first. I stretched my legs, my back and arms. After I jogged in place for a while I sat back down. She put the IV back in its place. She told me she would ask the doctor if she could take out the IV.  I nodded and grabbed the black head phones connected to the ipod that was on the night stand. My father must have dropped it off in the morning before heading to work.

            I put the music on not paying attention to anything. Nothing mattered. I could not wait to get out. The nurse walked in after she had just left to tell me that I had gotten a letter. I nodded and put the music on full blast. I pushed the tray of food away and opened the letter.

            To say he went crazy at the news was probably an understatement. He asked me what I was doing at the hospital, what happened, whether my mom freaked when she found out. Then he told me I could go live with him and his mother, to which I did no pay much mind to. Finally he answered my questions as to what exactly happened.

          The beef I had with them was because of you. You probably don’ remember those guys who hit on you the day we were at the park and I went to the bathroom and I left you alone like a dumbass anyways I came back and saw them tryin’ to touching you. Well they came around two days before the shooting and they were looking for you they were acting like you were a nobody, someone they just wanted to knock up and leave and they started touchin’ all the girls that were at the shop. One of them started hitting’ on my mom! So we got in a fight that day and they said they would come back to settle the score and get you. Well you know they came but that day I was with some friends and they just so happened to have their guns on them.

            He answered my other questions and promised me he would be on his best behavior and would not join a gang. He promised me false security he could not keep.

            I wont take my anger out on you cutie. I'll just take it out on one of my other friends. I swear Ill keep you safe. And I’ll stay safe for you. I won’ get in any fights. I try and get early parole just don’t leave my side alright. I need you as much as you need me except even more than that. I know you don’t love and stuff but I do and I love and miss you. I need you by my side again. I love you. Take care of yourself for me.

            He loves too much. I shake my head. I wrote back to him everything that happened everything from the time I woke up that morning to what I was doing right now. I drew him the new tattoo I wanted. I drew things I like, I figured maybe he could find a way to organize it so it was a beautiful artwork that will decorate my body perfectly. The letter ended up being 6 pages long back and front with the drawings and everything. I gave the letter to the nurse and she said she would mail it out. I stayed up to watch cartoons on my laptop.