Best Friend ~Dreamnotfound

34

a/n~ this is a rough one. hang in there. stay safe :) !! mentions of suicide and suicidal thoughts !!

"-ake up." 

"Hm?" George questioned. 

"You need to wake up, we're getting ready to leave. I let you sleep while I got ready." 

"Oh, I think I'm gonna stay here." 

"What, why? It'll be a lot of fun." 

"I uh, I don't feel good. My stomach hurts." 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yeah. I'm sorry." 

"Don't be sorry. Will you be ok home alone? We'll be gone for awhile." 

"Yeah, I'll be ok. Have fun." George reached his arms up as to ask for a hug. Of course Clay leaned down and hugged him. 

"Ok. Feel better." He released from the hug and kissed George's forehead. 

"I love you." 

"I love you, too. Just text or call if you need anything. I can always Uber back." 

"Ok." 

"Make sure you eat something." Clay tells George as he reaches the door. 

"I will." 

"Ok. Bye." Clay walked out leaving George alone. 

George felt tears start forming in his eyes. He sat up on the bed, listening for the garage to shut. Once he heard it close, he broke down. He couldn't figure out why. He's been hiding his feelings for the past month. He didn't know why he felt this way. 

He was so happy with Clay. He was happy with his life. Now, he didn't want to live it anymore. It was so random. George loved baseball so much, it was something that brought so much happiness. But now, he felt like it was a chore. He didn't have any desire to go back to it. 

Truth be told, George has been feeling this way since before summer. It wasn't this bad, though. That's what confused him. Maybe Clay leaving caused it to get worse, but what about now? He lives with the guy, but it seems to be getting worse and worse everyday. 

The tears kept coming and they wouldn't stop. It was difficult to breath, he couldn't do it. George quickly stood from the bed and folded his arms on top of his head. It was something he learned from baseball. 

When George quickly checked his phone, he saw a text from his mom. It wasn't any ordinary text, it was a text checking in on George. She was asking him how he was, if he was happy. George's mom, one of the people that raised him to be such a happy kid, was making sure George was ok. George threw his phone against the wall and cried even harder. 

He started pacing around the room, trying to steady his breathing with tears still falling from his eyes. It was this moment that George realized he hates who he became. Why the hell was he crying for no reason? This used to never happen. God, he hated himself so much. Wouldn't he be better off dead? Of course not, but that didn't stop George from thinking so. 

"FUCK!" 

What could take this pain away? Where was this pain even coming from? George was thinking so hard. He needed something to take the pain away. Then it hit him. He sprinted upstairs and into the kitchen. He started opening all of the cabinets, slamming them shut when he couldn't find what he was looking for. 

He was about to give up, but when he opened the cabinet above the refrigerator, he felt a rush of something. It's been too long. Clay's parents were definitely gonna send George back to Florida after this, but he wasn't focused on that. 

George grabbed the barely empty bottle of vodka from the cabinet and stared at it in his hand. Tears started welling in his eyes as he opened the lid and put the bottle up to his lips. He squeezed his eyes shut and tilted his head back, allowing the liquid to enter his body. 

It felt good, oh did it feel good. It burned, but it felt so fucking good. Sex couldn't even compare to how George felt right now. He missed this feeling. Once the bottle left his lips, George put it right back and chugged more. He knew he was going to regret this later, but he needed to take the pain away. 

George knew this wasn't going to end well. Not in any way, actually. He didn't have any food in his stomach and he already downed half the bottle. The bottle was 1 liter and had what only seemed like a shot or two missing when it was found. He was going to pass out. 

Clay's parents were going to be furious with George. They trust him so much. When they find out that George drank their vodka without permission, they were going to flip their shit. 

When Clay found out, he was going to be disappointed. Maybe worse. All of these points ran through George's head, but disappointing Clay was the worst thought yet. He started panicking. What was Clay going to think of George after this? It doesn't matter, it was too late now. 

"Grey Goose. Such a stupid name." George mumbled to himself before stumbling down to Clay's room. 

About half an hour and thousands of tears later, the bottle was empty. It definitely hit George. He could barely keep his eyes open. He couldn't tell if it was because of all the alcohol he drank or because of all the tears spilling out, probably both. 

"Stupid, stupid, STUPID!" George shouted. 

Then, George made the biggest mistake of his life. Without thinking, the glass bottle was thrown across the room. It hit the wall, shattering into a million pieces. It all fell to the floor. He noticed a small hole in the wall. He knew it wasn't from the bottle since it shattered before harming the wall.

He was confused, to say the least. But that's when he remembered chucking his phone at the wall. He looked down and saw his phone laying amongst the shattered glass. It's easy to say that the bottle wasn't the only broken thing. 

George ended up crying himself to sleep. Since he was having this breakdown, added to the fact that he broke his phone, he wasn't getting any messages from Clay. Oblivious to the whole situation, Clay just figured George was still sleeping. Well, he was in for a surprise when he got home. 

a/n~ this is based off of how i've been feeling for the past year. if you can relate, just know i am here to talk. also, i'm not sure how alcohol effects the body and what not, so i'm not sure if that amount of alcohol would have that effect on george or not