Fallen Demon

Chapter 15: Lavana

"Lavana."

Why.

"Lavana."

I just wanted to be happy. I wanted to help.

"Lavana!"

I snapped out of my trance to find Ash standing in front of me. His face was covered with worry and fear as he shook me.

"I'm sorry," I breathed out. My voice was raspy and barely an echo of myself, "Were you talking to me?"

"Lavana..." his face was a haze, his voice murky almost as if he was trying to speak to me while we were underwater.

He pulled me away and before I knew it I was sitting at the dining table with food in front of me. I wanted to say something, anything really, but the world made me feel so numb. I was just nothing. I hadn't seen my horns or tail in days and I didn't even care.

I let out a broken laugh.

"What's funny Lavana?" Concern echoed out of him as he sat across from me.

I raised my gaze to look at him and I knew he could see the emptiness in my eyes.

"My human body got destroyed, my angel self was taken before it could even be given, and even my demon self has disappeared. Everything really is pointless isn't it?"

Ash didn't say anything right away but he held my eyes regardless. I could see the fear in them. Why is he scared to lose me? Why would he feel that way if we barely knew each other?

"There was a time," he let out a small puff of air as he broke away from my eyes to move around the food on his own plate, "When my thoughts were similar to that..."

His words seem to capture me as he gestured at my food, his steel eyes telling me it was an order, not a suggestion.

"What happened to you?"

"When I died, I didn't even know what to do. Not having memories made me feel empty. When I became a demon and started to get them back I couldn't understand any of it. "

"How was it?" I blurted. He raised a sharp eyebrow at me, "Y-your life I mean..."

I took small bites of my food to avoid the awkwardness of the question.

"That's a story for a different time Sweetheart," the nickname warmed me a bit. I didn't realize how long it had been since I had any form of positive emotion. There was a small frown on my face. I had been making him tense around me. I hadn't been giving either of us a chance to relax... to feel...

"I was angry," Ash continued, "I didn't want to be dead. I wanted to be alive and with my family. So, I fought, and damn am I good at that." I rolled my eyes at his smugness. "The wars between the demons and angels directly affect the humans. Our war became theirs. A war to end the angel's cruelty and discrimination against us was but a release that left me covered in blood from all sides."

"I should have died."

There was a somber smile on his face as stabbed at his food.

"The angels had taken us by surprise once they learned we were winning. How pitiful isn't it? Angels don't enjoy beings shamed for their sins," he looked at me with a dead smile, "they really do enjoy killing us you know. We may torture and kill but at least we don't lie about it like they do. The demons here aren't even allowed to do so unless there's a proper reason that The Dark Lady agrees with. They just do it for fun. We understand order and respect. We understand our place."

"We have rules. We have sins. We may be terrible but the worst of us aren't even allowed to move freely. They aren't even allowed to exist as ghosts. Even certain criminals are not allowed to walk again. But the angels don't understand that. Or maybe they do, but they don't care enough."

I bit down at my lip hearing Ash talk. I didn't want to believe him but seeing his eyes... I knew he had seen it all firsthand to talk about it like this.

"They almost killed me. If it wasn't for a human, I would have been dead."

My head snapped up to see his eyes.

"I remember laying there in the blood of demons and angels. I was the last demon standing. They left me there to bleed out. They didn't care since all the demons on the site were dead. I remember how pointless it all felt. I would die for my mistake."

"W-what was your mistake?" my clear as I stared at him wanting to know more.

His eyes shined with something I didn't recognize.

"I tried to save a human."