𝙰𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 ~ 𝙴𝚟𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗

Twenty Two

A knock sounds throughout the quiet home, erupting barks of disturbance from Indy. Sebastian flinches at the sound from his seat at the bench, placing down the bunch of flowers he had been tying together with a piece of ribbon.

"Can you get that please, honey?" Georgeta calls out from up the stairs where Nathan was brushing her hair.

Biting his lower lip, Sebastian stands to his feet, crossing the room and pulling open the door. He had dreaded for this moment to come, dreaded seeing Chris after a week of no contact. Georgeta and Lisa organised for them to talk everything out, saying that a week had been enough for their anger to simmer down and that they deserved to hear each other out. Sebastian especially dreaded it in knowing what he was to say to Chris.

Chris doesn't look any better than Sebastian. Heavy, purple bags hang from under his eyes, messy hair and stubble covering his face. Lisa is stood beside him, a soft, sad smile on her lips. "Come here, love." Holding out her arms, Sebastian hesitantly walks into them with a small sigh, holding on tight.

Breaking away, Sebastian leads them into the living room where Georgeta and Nathan were now seated, not daring to flick a glance in Chris's direction. Georgeta takes Nathan and Lisa out into the backyard, the closing of the door clattering around the home.

Sebastian takes a seat, and Chris follows, each of their actions slow and full of hesitance. Nothing is spoken for a while, Sebastian's brain going over and over what he was about to say. How were you supposed to bring it up with the one and only person you love?

Everything filters through Sebastian's mind, one thing after the other. Recounts all the times where he would stare at his phone and Chris still hasn't called, how low it made him feel until he couldn't feel anything at all. Making Sebastian think about whether or not Chris actually meant it when he said 'forever and always.'

It had all gone wrong. All coming down to nothing, to a silence that would cut Sebastian to the core. Make him wonder where on earth were he and Chris going, remembering how he thought he knew, but know? He hadn't a clue in the world."

Chris opens his mouth, sorry on the tip of his tongue, when Sebastian clears his throat. Chris closes his mouth. "I get now.. how busy you were." It comes out as a hoarse whisper, as though he was holding back tears. "I should never have accused you of such things... I just... I got so scared that you were sick of me.. especially after us having sex, I thought.. you.. you didn't love me anymore.."

"Seb.." Chris whispers. "I could never—"

Sebastian cuts him off. "I know... Emily just got into my head again.."

"We let her come between us again.."

"Yeah.."

Chris grabs ahold of Sebastian's hand, running his thumb over his knuckles. "I'm so sorry.. Sebastian." He says softly. "I had no right bringing up your past like that.."

"It's okay." Sebastian whispers.

Chris shakes his head. "No, it's not. It's not. You can't just forgive me for this..."

Sebastian bows his head. "Okay.."

Chris sighs. "I know we both said some things we regret but.." he digs into his pocket where Sebastian's promise ring was situated. "Would you.. take me back.. I.. I can't imagine my life without you in it.."

Sebastian sniffles, sucking in a shaky breath. "I.. I can't imagine my life without you, either, but.." The words trail off, tears falling one by one down hot, bruised cheeks. "I think.. it would be best for us to break up."

Chris's heart sinks, eyes filling with tears. "What?"

"I want to be with you, Chris. I want to make a family with you." Sobs Sebastian, cupping Chris's cheek. "But with everything we've been through, I don't think we're strong enough to last if we keep going like this."

Chris falls silent. He can't even bring himself to speak. How were you supposed to respond to that?

Sebastian sucks in a shaky breath. "It just seems to me.. and I'm sure you feel it too, but.. our relationship is breaking down." Breathes Sebastian, clearing his throat to control the shake in his voice. "We almost never speak anymore. For one second, everything was perfect. Then... Emily and so many things happened that it feels like.. we're both one foot out the door. And I just.. I know it sounds stupid but I think.. I just need some time to get back on track."

Deep down, Chris knows Sebastian is right. With everything they have been through, getting back together would just add more and more to their pile of hurt and pain. Sebastian deserved time to trust in himself again, trust that he was in a good place and not fear just how dark and scary his mind was getting.

"Chris, I hope you know.. no one else has ever been able to make me feel so strong and vulnerable and safe as you have." Says Sebastian, voice shaking with emotion. "It has been no one else but you who I would be willing to surrender myself to. You have made me feel unimaginable things, but most of all, you have wanted me to live."

A sob, then another, and another slip through Chris's lips. Sebastian smiles through his own tears, cupping Chris's cheeks and kissing his forehead. "I love you so much, Chris. Thank you, thank you so much for everything you have gifted to me."

I love you more," Whispers Chris, looking into Sebastian's eyes. "Thank you for trusting in me, I'm sorry for all that I said.."

"Its okay." Sebastian breathes, leaning their foreheads together. "Its okay."

Noses brushing, lips mere inches away, before falling together for one last time. Its painful, saddening, yet soft and sweet. Sebastian pulls away, for he knows if he doesn't, he never would. Kissing his forehead, Chris stands to his feet, walking out of the home with a small gaze over his shoulder, before he is gone.

****

Chris's silence was unnerving. Terrifying. The entire way home, he had not spoken a word, dried tears on his cheeks, eyes red. No one can seem to get him to talk, not even Scott.

Everything spun round and round in his mind, heart heavy, eyes welling with further tears. I don't think we're strong enough to last if we keep going like this. The words echo, burning into his heart like a match, an unbearable pain surging through his veins.

Sebastian was right. Of course he was, Chris had noticed everything he had said, but that didn't stop it from hurting. Chris had been in a few relationships in his life, he had cried when it broke off, but with Sebastian, it was far worse than Chris ever imagined. Sebastian was the first person that he ever loved, who loved him back with as much of an intensity as Chris.

"Fuck," Chris mutters, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands.

The break up was for the best. Everything was going to be okay. Once everything had settled, and Sebastian's mental health was where he wanted it to be, they could come back to where they started.

They would. Wouldn't they?