DWEO : Zhanyi MPREG

78. Take your time

Yibo POV

I was hard at work when someone familiar knocked on my office door; Ryan smiled walking inside. "Hey, beautiful." He said. I returned his smile standing up to hug him "Hey Ryan, what brings you here?" I asked; he and I have been in and out of touch for a while now.

"I've come to free you of the clutches of work." He said with a grin "Let me take you to lunch." He added. I looked at my desk "I don't know, I really have to get this done." I said

He gave me a knowing look "Come on, that's what you said the last time." He said "I'm not taking no for an answer you know. Nor am I moving." He added sitting on the chair by my desk. I shook my head

"Fine." I said exasperatedly and he smiled following me out.

He took me to the same restaurant he always did whenever we hang out. They served really good food but I wondered what meaning it held to him. "What's with you and this restaurant?" I asked after the meal, he leaned back

"Remember that summer camp we went to in 6th grade?" he asked and I nodded. "Well the food they serve here resembles the menu they had over there." He said, "Oh yeah." I said remembering, "It was a really good menu." I added and he nodded smiling. 

He scrutinized me for a while then to my surprise he reached out for my hand across the table. I immediately withdrew it almost instinctually, he sighed "Yibo I have to tell you something." He said.

"You didn't kill anyone did you?" I teased hoping to lighten the tension; it unnerved me. He didn't smile "I'm in love with you Yibo." He said solemnly, I stared at him shocked then I dropped my eyes "Ryan..." I said and he stopped me.

"No, just hear me out." He said quickly then he took a deep breath "You're hurt and it breaks my heart because someone like you deserves to be happy. I can make you happy Yibo, I know I can if you let me."

I shook my head, cursing myself for hurting him "I can't, I don't feel that way for you Ryan." I said. I could never feel that way for anyone ever again, I realized that fact and accepted it. "And part of that is because you're still grieving for him, I understand that. But in time you'll learn to love me too." he persisted and I flinched. 

I never had to learn to love Zhan; I just did, quickly and blindly. "That's unfair you know. I said, and he frowned "To whom?" he asked "To you, to the both of us." I said, shaking my head sadly "I have nothing left to give Ryan. It would be unfair of me to enter into a relationship with you only offering a piece of myself. You deserve better than that." I said. 

He shook his head stubbornly "No..."

"Yes you do." I cut him off "You deserve to be with a man who will love you with all of his heart." I said fervently and he hung his head. "What about your heart?" he asked and I paused swallowing the lump in my throat.

"It belongs to him, whether he is here or not." I said and he looked up "I loved Zhan with every fiber of my being. I can never love another the way I loved him...the way I still love him." I added. "You wouldn't have to stop, you just have to..." he reached for my hand and I drew it back again. 

He exhaled in a rush "He would want you to move on you know, to find love again." He added quietly. 

My gaze shifted to the window "Yeah he would." I said "But I'm not willing to settle for anything less than what he and I shared. You shouldn't either." I added looking at him again "The real love of your life is out there somewhere, I'll just be holding you back from finding him." I said.

He crossed his arms on the table with a defeated look on his face "So you're just going to spend the rest of your life alone?" he asked and I flinched. 

"I'm sorry." He said quickly and I shook my head at him "Has spent the rest of my life alone crossed my mind? More than I bother to keep count." I said, "Does it change anything? Not even the slightest bit." I added. He looked at me for a while then he nodded in quiet understanding and sadness.

I checked my watch "I have to go pick up my kids from school." I said standing up, he stood up too "I'm leaving." He said. "I'm transferring back to Beijing, I just wanted to see if there was a reason I should stay."

"I'm sorry I couldn't be that reason." I said, "All the best, go find your happiness...for the both of us." I added and he nodded and smiled. "You're going to be alright." He said and I returned his smile "I think so too." I said I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life alone; I was part of a big and wonderful family. I said goodbye to him and walked out of the restaurant.

A small soft voice brought me out of my slumber, my eyes slowly opened to find Lucy at the foot of the bed. I immediately sat up "Baby, come here." I said and she climbed onto the bed and sat beside me "I can't sleep." She said and I stroke her hair. She nodded, "Did you have a bad dream?" I asked and she shook her head

"I want to stay with you, Mommy." She said and I slightly smiled. I checked my clock and it was nearing midnight, she probably didn't want to go back to sleep.

"You want to do something fun?" I asked and she smiled nodding excitedly. She fetched her favorite board game and we played it. I also let her play with my hair, which I quickly regret once she was done. She yawned looking sleepy "You want to sleep in your room?" I asked and she nodded, Lucy loved her bedroom. She has chosen the theme color herself.

"Alright, I'll fetch you a glass of water okay?" I said after she told me she was thirsty. She walked out heading to her room and I went down the stairs untangling the mess she made with my hair, I raked my fingers through it smiling. The kitchen was half-lit when I went to the sink to pour water into the glass. I closed the tap, "Yibo."

With an audible gasp, the glass in my hand fell to the floor. The sound of the glass shattering echoed around the silent room. That voice, I couldn't have possibly imagined it, not so clearly. That voice, deep and raspy soft, I knew that voice as I knew the beat of my own heart. Zhan.

Was that it? Has grief finally pushed me over the edge? Was I finally crazy now? My body refused to turn around; it was frozen. I slowly turned around only to jerk back and grip the counter at the sight of him a few feet away from me.

Zhan stood in our kitchen, watching me with apprehension, wonder, and pain in his eyes. He wore a grey zip hoodie and jeans, with his hands in his pockets. He was exactly like I remembered him, devastatingly handsome and muscular; every single thing remained unchanged. 

My hand went to my mouth to muffle my gasp or was it a scream because I was hallucinating my dead husband. My heart rate spiked up and blood rushed to my ears.

He moved towards me and I whimpered, "Stop" I whispered and he did. Just then Lucy came down the stairs "Mommy?" More of a reflex than anything my head snapped to the side, and I saw her stop dead, looking at Zhan.

"Daddy?" she asked and my gaze went back to where he was still standing. He was looking back at Lucy, he crouched down and she ran into his arms crying. "Daddy? Is that you?" she asked sobbing on his shoulder and he held her tight

"Yes, my angel it's me." he said looking up at me. I watched the whole scene incredulously then it hit me. Lucy saw him too; we both couldn't possibly be hallucinating, could we?

That's impossible I thought; people did not just rise from the dead no matter how badly you want them to. He comforted Lucy keeping his eyes on me. Those intensely beautiful eyes always made me feel loved and safe. Those eyes couldn't possibly belong to my husband; I watched his coffin get lowered to the ground. I snapped out of my frozen state

"Lucy, come let's go." I said sternly and Zhan let her go "But Mommy, its Daddy." She pained "Now Lucy." I said and she turned back to him "Daddy don't go." She pleaded.

"I'll be right here my angel, go to bed." He said and she came into my arms. I went up the stairs without looking back to see if he was still there.