DWEO : Zhanyi MPREG

43. Hometown Glory

 Yibo POV

I watched Zhan closely as he drove across town, I still couldn't believe I was in his hometown. I could see how much the place meant to him and I was glad I got to see this side of him.  There was a building from afar but as we got closer, I saw that it was a house; well a mansion compared to the houses I've seen so far.

It was a two-storied modern house but it was conservative and suited the landscape well. Zhan parked in its driveway and got out to get the door for me. I absently let him help me out, I couldn't stop staring at the house; it seemed as though nobody lived in it for a very long time. Although it looked very well managed, even the lawn looked perfectly trimmed.

Zhan leaned against the SUV and folded his arms, looking at the house with an unreadable expression. I looked at him now "This was my parent's house, they built it from scratch when they moved here. This is home." He said, still looking at it.

There was nothing I could say because my throat suddenly tightened, I understood now the real reason why he brought me here. This was his home but it was also a place were a horrific tragedy took place. Even though this was difficult for him, he wanted me to know him...all of him.

I leaned against the car too, resting my head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around my waist.

"It's been well over 5 years since I last came here, there's no use for this house, no one lives here. But I still can't find it in me to sell it" he said quietly. "You don't have to, this house is a part of you," I said softly

"No I do, and it's not a part of me. Its just part of my past" he said "Come" he added taking my hand and leading me to the house. We got in through the back door and into the kitchen; it was very stylish and open, every inch of the house was. I could see where Zhan got his taste.

He also told me his childhood stories and memories as he gave me a tour of the house, I smiled sometimes trying to visualize everything myself. I could easily see little Zhan playing in the backyard, or jumping around in the foyer. Fufu and Mother in Law in the kitchen; Father-in-law and Zhan playing games in his room.

Somehow all of these stories and memories seemed a part of me too, like I experienced them too. "Everything is exactly as I remembered it, not a thing out of place," he said as we got to the lounge. He smiled to himself

"I used to love playing with my toys right there" he pointed in front of the TV set "My mother would always get mad whenever I did not put them away" he added chuckling. His expression turned solemn "That little boy had everything any child could hope for and need, he had a family and he was loved," he said, and my eyes locked with his.

"I was sitting right there when those men ambushed us" he said his eyes narrowing to the place. "I couldn't comprehend why random men would come and kill such innocent people," he added shifting his gaze back to me.

"I was just a child back then, I only found out the truth late in my teens from my uncle Zhu" he said. I listened in silence, trying to put myself in his shoes, trying to feel his emotions as though they were mine too.

"My dad was a CIA secret agent, my mom knew this; but when he found out she was pregnant with me he left the agency and moved here. Building a whole new life for us here." He said, I stared at him wide-eyed but he continued. "My dad was in the middle of exposing multi-million dollar drug smuggling ops, but he dropped it and left. The head honchoes still saw my dad as a threat, so they decided to get rid of him" He added blankly.

I took a sharp breath, everything crushing down on me. Suddenly everything made sense "That's another reason why you became an agent too," I whispered sure of myself. He nodded "I felt beholden to my father and his memory. But I've grown to love this agency and my job"

"And your mom, that's why you pushed me away. You didn't want me to end up like her," I added sure again. Why Zhan did what he did, he wanted to protect me from suffering a similar fate to his mother.

He nodded again "I never thought I'd find myself in my father's position, he was not able to let my mother go. He loved her and I know he would've given anything for her to live instead," he said, his gaze bore into mine "But I knew my mom would've rather she died along with him" he added.

I nodded reverently; I knew exactly how she felt. I would rather die too than have to live without Zhan. Losing him that way would just be unbearable. I knew what it felt like when I thought I did, and back then I was just only coming to terms with my own feelings for him.

But right now knowing how much I loved him...needed him, that feeling and grief would destroy me. He brushed away a tear that escaped the corner of my eye "You wouldn't mind being in my mother's position too, would you?" he asked his tone slightly disapproving. I nodded again meeting his gaze "I relinquished control over my fate when I fell in love with you Zhan, I would follow you anywhere. Even if its six-feet under." I said with conviction.

He shook his head resting his chin on top of my head "You think this is what your father would've wanted for you?" he whispered.

My dad is the one who told me to have no regrets and follow my heart. I would've spent my whole life wondering what could've been between Zhan and I. Worst of all if the CIA went through with erasing my memory, I would've never known the great love and affection we both shared.

 And for me the subconscious pain would be too much; I would always have an emptiness I could never comprehend. My mind would forget but my heart wouldn't, it would always ache for someone I didn't know. I nuzzled my head onto his chest "My dad would've wanted me to be happy regardless, and I 'am" I whispered back. 

After a long pause he released me and moved to the middle of the room "I sat right here crying for my parents" he said, he crouched down and absently touched the floor "There was nothing I could do to save them" he whispered.

I walked over to him, he didn't look up as I approached; he just kept staring at the floor. Remembering things I could never picture, feeling pain I could never fathom, no matter how hard I tried.

I saw that Zhan never properly mourned his parents' death, he had to grow up too fast and learn to stand on his own when he was just a mere child. That's what probably made him the man he was today, he always seemed formidable to me. But seeing him in this vulnerable state made me love him even more, it made me feel as though he needed me too. 

I watched him mourn silently and tearlessly; I for one couldn't stop tears from rolling down my face. I kneeled beside him and put my arms around him; much to my surprise he came into me, letting me embrace him. "What will I ever do without you little one," he said letting out a strained chuckle.

I smiled slightly "You never have to find out" I said. "That little boy may have been loved but this man is too" I said nodding to myself. I would humbly take the loving and cherishing from here onwards.