xxxxxviii. one point

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(this one is a little long)


One point

At one point in my life

I was happy I had no worries

There was no guilt weighing down on my chest

For not telling my family that I love them

Before I lost them forever

I had friends

They weren't the best

But they were all I had

I never really cared in the moment

But now looking back I should have put a little more effort

And not have been so easily controlled

By just wanting some friends to sit with at lunch

Homework was easy

I didn't have any expensive clothes

No one really cared what kind of brands you wore on the playground

Most of the kids just wore payless shoes

I had high expectations for life

Now those expectations are spoiled

I see that life can be a pain in the ass

I just want to be a child again

With no cares in the world

Instead of stressing over chemistry

I would rather wonder what I was going to buy at the annual schoolbook fair

Back to when I didn't care about my 'flaws

When I wasn't broken

When I was a happy child

The child who always wore a smile

No matter the weather

Back when I didn't have to struggle with anxiety or depression

But that point in my life is long gone

I can be happy at times

But the stress tends to overpower

All those happy thoughts that run through my brain at random times during the day

I now use reading to escape from this reality

One that when I was younger, I couldn't wait to have

All we wanted to do was be older

But now it seems all we want to do is go back to when we were younger

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no I'm on to go do some chemistry homework that I really don't want to do

~xx hollyandmax:)

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