The beginning of everything else

Flash Forward - Ghostly Pale

After Elle voiced her concerns we decided to make an appointment to see a doctor so that we could talk through Joni's history at the same time as getting various tests. I'm sure there is nothing wrong, these things can sometimes take time, but that didn't matter right now because I just wanted to put Elle's mind at rest.

Our first appointment with Dr Sahakian went over the basics, with Elle explaining her concerns and both of us giving samples followed by making appointments for Elle to have some scans and us to return to talk through our results. I could tell how worried Elle was, and I felt powerless to do anything, this wasn't something that I could 'fix' like most problems that we have faced up to now. She had looked so thoroughly dejected as she was prodded, poked, and stuck with needles, and so I was glad to see her amusement when I was ushered off to a small private room to 'produce' my own sample into a tiny plastic cup.

"I think we need to speak to my Dad about this", she tells me as we walk across the parking lot back to the car, "I know we didn't want to tell anyone we are trying yet, but I think we need to double-check that there isn't anything else in Mom's medical history other than cancer"

"Yeah, I thought the same thing when he asked...", I sigh, clicking the button on the key to unlock the car.

"But?" she asks me, fingers on her door handle, "I can tell there is a but?"

"Not a but... can we get in the car?", I request, talking over the roof, "So that it's a bit more private".

We get in the car, and I start the engine before pulling out of the lot. It will give me something to do whilst I relay my concern. Well not a concern, more of a hang-up, and when I say hang-up, it's because I know I'm being ridiculous, but as ridiculous as I am being that won't change until after we speak to Mike.

"Sooooo?" she prompts as I join the traffic, "are you having second thoughts?"

"No!", it comes out a little loudly, "No, definitely not, we should speak to your dad, we can go now if you want? Get it done?"

"I think now would be good, get this whole crappy day done in one go, you know?" She asks as I nod and move to the right lane to drive over to her Dad's.

"We're about to go to your Dad's house and have a full-on discussion with him about how much unprotected sex we've been having", I tell her, she might as well know what's on my mind, "I know that we're married, and that's what married people do, but I don't think there will ever be a time when there isn't part of me that's still an 18-year-old kid trying to convince your Dad that I'm not going to ruin your life... I just... how am I supposed to look him in the eyes... Hey Mike, so me and Shell have been going at it like rabbits for a while now... he's probably going to want to bury me in the yard"

I'm working myself up, but also the more I am the more she's giggling which is a relief and that eventually starts to transfer back over to me.

"I mean I wouldn't say it like that", she tells me between her laughter, "you're very cute when you get all flustered"

"I'm glad I amuse you", I smile relaxing a little more, the situation is what it is and this conversation with Mike needs to be had.

"You do, but what were you thinking would happen if we tell him we're pregnant? He'd know then too?"

"2 things", I tell her, "1 -  I was banking on the whole future grandchild thing to deflect from the sex with his daughter thing"

"Ok, that's fair" she giggles again, and I love that noise, "and 2?"

"We're pregnant could mean it happened once, we're trying suggests quantity", now she's out and out laughing at me, and I really don't mind, "your Dad is terrifying"