The beginning of everything else

Gothic Novella

Today had been planned with what could only be described as military accuracy. Everybody knew what they needed to do, we had been over this many times. The only possible fly in the ointment would be if Noah decided to go 'off piste' or work out that something was happening. The crux of the matter was that I needed to get away from him for about an hour, it needed to be a natural reason to leave, and there needed to be enough distraction that he wouldn't suggest that he should come with me. It didn't matter what time of the day or within reason our physical location, it just needed to be convincing enough that he wouldn't suspect, and we would need to end up back at our home.

At any other time it would have been a shame if his birthday had been on a weekday, but this year I am fully aware that packing him off to the office would have been the ideal diversion. It wasn't though, today is Sunday, so I had to somehow convince the love of my life that it wasn't odd for me to leave without him to go somewhere on his birthday. Lee has suggested that I plan it for first thing in the morning, he reasoned we could have dinner the night before, ply Noah with whisky and then spring into action as he was having a lie-in. I had pointed out, quite quickly, that for Noah to say in bed alone in the morning we would have to get him extremely drunk, which is morally very sketchy, and also I wouldn't want him suffering from a hangover on his special day. My dad had suggested that either he or Lee ask him to go out somewhere for an hour or so whilst Linda delivered the gift, essentially flipping it on its head where it is him going out instead of me. It was a sweet idea, especially as I loved the little bromance that had grown between my future husband and my dad, but it also meant having to devise a credible reason why I would be banned from coming along to something with my family or my best friend. It had been June and Matthew that had eventually hit on a plan that might work, although it would have a few moving parts and it would make the morning present giving a little tricky.

We woke up and Noah very quickly cashed in the opportunity to use his birthday as a reason for us to stay in bed and fool around, and then I made his favorite breakfast of bacon, eggs, and pancakes with lots of OJ to wash it down. Next, we settled on the couch so that I could give him his gifts, making an excuse to say that his main one had not arrived yet, but should do in the next couple of days. That wasn't technically a lie, it is the reason for this whole charade, it is currently at Dad and Linda's house waiting to be collected. He loved everything else that I had gotten him and told me not to worry about the other gift, which I would have felt a little guilty about if it wasn't for him picking me up, throwing me over his shoulder, and taking me back to bed.

As it got towards mid-day the plan started to kick in with my phone coming alive as June started to send messages within the group chat we had made for this birthday scheme. Essentially what she and Matthew had pointed out, was that with the exception of me, she was the one person that Noah would jump to the aid of without much question. We had invited all of the family over for a birthday dinner that night, so if I could appear to be knee-deep in preparation he would hopefully leave me home alone without too much convincing.

I go to the kitchen and retrieve the nice tableware from the cupboards as well as a box of decorations like happy birthday signs and streamers. This was the part where the plan was most likely to go astray - we need Noah to not come up with an over the phone solution that meant he didn't have to go and see his Mom, and I had to be a good enough actress to make him think I was too stressed with setting up for dinner to be able to tag along. If I'm honest, I think of all the options, I'm probably the weakest link, this man knows me inside out and can read me like a book.

As I hear Noah's phone start to ring, I busy myself trying to look like I'm finding something in the garage, hoping that if he can't see my face when he is talking to me, he'll be less likely to notice that something is going on. At first I can hear his voice, but not the words that he is saying, and then as he walks through the house still talking to June, I hear him laugh and say, "Ma, I'm sure it's nothing, but I'm on my way".