The beginning of everything else

Radio Silent

The Bachelor Party has been a huge success and when Lee found out where we were going he was over the moon, even the guys who had fought so hard for naked ladies had admitted that this idea had been even better. I have been texting Elle to keep her updated, and that her idea had been a roaring success, and if I am honest I had been sneaking regular looks at her Instagram. I had definitely missed her a lot, even more than I had expected, and glimpses of her beautiful, happy, and having lots of fun had gone a small way to keep me going until we got home.

Her flight had been due to take off at around 1.30 pm yesterday afternoon, so I had expected for her to go radio silent for a short while during the flight, but her messaging stopped at around 10 am mid-conversation, and nearly 24hrs later had not started back up. My dad, Mike, and Lee had all spoken to the girls after they had landed, so I knew nothing could have happened or they would know. The reports coming back were that it had been a fantastic weekend and that Elle's party planning skills were receiving rave reviews.

At first I had thought maybe her phone battery had died, and she would just call me as soon as she got home, but as the evening wore on and my calls were definitely connecting but going unanswered, I was growing more and more concerned. Yet whatever the issue, I was surrounded by people who were in near-constant contact with her traveling companions, and so as I went to bed I could only conclude that she was specifically not talking to me. 

If I could have piloted the plane to get us home faster, that's what I would have done, and as I part ways with everybody at LAX, they jokingly make comments about why I'm in such a hurry to get home. The house is empty when I arrive, and her car is gone, but there is evidence that she made it here, because her case is standing in the corner of our bedroom and some of her clothes are gone.

I can feel my panic rising, my heart beating faster in my chest and so grabbing my keys I head out to find her, needing to know what it is that I've done. Before starting the car I open my phone, hoping she'll have text but knowing how unlikely that is, and although I can see that she's stopped reading my messages, I still need to try to make contact again.

Shell, I'm not sure what's happening, but please let me know where you are. I love you.

My first port of call is Lee and Rachel, and as I drive I try to think of what I'm going to say. If she's not there do I lie and pretend there is no issue, or tell them and risk Lee's anger? Pulling up to their house I can see that the decision is moot, because her car isn't here and neither are Lee and Rachel. 

The next stop is my Mom's because my last dwindling bit of hope is that maybe they decided to keep the party going, Maybe I'll pull up to the house and find Lee and Rachel there, maybe Elle just forget to leave a note. I know that I am clutching at straws, I know she's ignoring my calls and texts, I know that it's looking increasingly likely that she's left me, but I don't know why when just 24hrs ago, the last communication we had was so loving. The fear grips me further when I arrive at their house and I still haven't found Elle's car, not only that but as Mom sees me parking, she's clearly confused why I am here.

"Hey sweetheart, everything OK? Is Elle not with you?" she asks as I open my car door

"No" is all I can say, shaking my head as I feel everything start to overwhelm me.

"No she isn't with you, or no everything isn't OK?" she digs at the same time as coming over to hug me. I hadn't realized how much I needed this until I was standing towering over my Mom and yet still she would always be a safe place and comfort when everything was going wrong. I try to gather myself, not wanting to let my emotions take over, as much as I want to let her do what Mom's do, I can't let myself lose momentum.

"She stopped replying to my texts and calls yesterday morning and I haven't heard from her since. She's been home and her car and some clothes are gone, but she's not here or at Lee's. I don't know what I've done Ma"