The beginning of everything else

Scrambled Eggs

Despite how tired I was yesterday, and how little sleep Elle let me get last night, I am the first one of us to wake up. We've instantly slipped back into our old sleeping positions with my arm draped over her side and my body wrapped around her tiny frame, wanting to be as close as physically possible. She is still fast asleep and I can feel the rise and fall of her chest from where my hand has settled in the night just below her breasts. I am seriously thirsty, but I also don't want to move as I bask in the comforting smell of her shampoo and the warmth of her skin.

There was a time up until very recently where I had told myself that I would never get to feel like this again. So to now be laying here, knowing not only that she was prepared to give me a chance, but that she wants to start thinking about building a life together seems almost too good to be true. But it isn't, she is definitely here, soft and warm in my arms, like somehow all of those years' dreams of Elle have been made real.

Not able to stand my thirst any longer I slowly and quietly unwrap myself from around her. After grabbing some water I check on a still sleeping Elle, she has rolled over and is snuggled into my pillow, she looks too peaceful to disturb so I decide to give her a little more time by jumping in the shower, and then maybe I'll make her breakfast in bed.

I've found a tray, and made some coffee, scrambled eggs, and buttered some toast, it's just as I finish pouring two glasses of OJ that I feel her hands glide around my torso and come to a stop on my abs. 

"Morning beautiful" I say enjoying the sensation of her wandering hands.

"Hey handsome, you do realize that you wandering around the apartment dressed like this probably has the same effect on me as it would for you if I was only in my lingerie?" she replies, giving my ass a quick pat.

Yes I do know and yes it is on purpose, Elle had always made it clear that grey pajama pants, slung low on my hips and nothing else was what did it for her. I was just contemplating forgetting breakfast and taking her straight back to bed when she peered around my side to the tray laden with food on the counter.

"You made breakfast? For me?"

"Oh no, this is all for me" I retort jokingly, "You know where everything is though" I continue as she pokes me in the side with a pout, "OK, I'll share, but only this once" I finish with a smirk.

Lifting her chin up, I bend down to meet her lips, but she dodges me at the last minute. Shit.

"Shell? I'm sorry, I was just trying to joke about, of course I made it for you" I tell her quickly, panicked, after all of the difficult conversations that went so much better than even I had hoped, surely me messing around can't be what leads to our first argument.

"Morning breath you dork" she responds, standing up on tiptoe to kiss my cheek. 

I find myself laughing with sheer relief as she reassures me "Let's get this eaten, I'll get ready and then I'll kiss you as much as you want"

________________________________________________________________________________

After much debate, Elle and I had decided to view the apartments this morning. I don't think any of them will be big enough for us both, we would ideally like 2 bedrooms which would mean we can have a home office space, but Elle countered that if we can agree on what we like, she can carry on looking at bigger places during the week whilst I'm back in Boston. She makes a good point, it would be nice to have this tied up soon, and if I am honest whatever it is she wants to do today is fine by me. I'd watch paint dry as long as she was there.

The first place is OK and I have no strong opinion either way, but Elle isn't keen on its lack of much natural light. The second apartment is a bust, the pictures that were online must be old from when it was newly decorated, not from now when it looks incredibly like it needs a serious lick of paint. The third stop is the one that I would have guessed I would end up choosing when I thought I would be living alone. The area is ideal, the grounds are well maintained and the apartment is spacious and light with a small balcony off of the living space.

"It's a shame" Elle whispers, "this would be great if it had more bedrooms"

"It would" I agree, "So are we saying that we want something similar to this but with two bedrooms?" 

"Hi, sorry, I couldn't help but overhear," the agent says, "but are you looking for something different?"  

After giving her a quick overview of the situation, a new budget, and an idea of what we are looking for she says that she thinks she might have something, agreeing to meet back up at a new address in West Hollywood a little later.

This place is a small house as opposed to an apartment, and it's just outside our budget. It's an open floor plan with white walls and dark wood flooring, one of those walls opens up wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling onto a nice-sized private backyard. There are two spacious bedrooms upstairs with good-sized closets and a third detached bedroom that will make an excellent double office. The agent has left us to do another lap of the place on our own whilst she checks her messages, I'm leaning against the counter whilst Elle stands by the bi-folding doors that lead onto the patio. 

It's definitely not the kind of place I would have even searched for on Zillow, but I can already imagine our things here, having friends over for dinner and weekend breakfasts outside in the sunshine. It's pricier than we had originally thought and bigger, but the place we had envisaged had been a stop-gap until we felt ready to think about things that would mean we needed more room and out outside space. I'm not saying we're there yet, our reunion has been quick, and whilst I am glad that we are here now instead of 6 months down the line, I also know that we don't need to rush everything to get to the end goal. We can afford ourselves time to enjoy where we are and what we are doing. Still, we can do that in a house instead of an apartment, and living here would definitely future proof our ability to make those next steps when we are ready without having to move again. That said, I might be getting ahead of myself because I need to know what Elle thinks.

"Sooooo, what do you think Shell?" I ask, seemingly breaking her out of her thoughts as she turns to face me with a look like she's not sure. Whatever we decide, it has to be something that we both want, so if this isn't the place for her, then it isn't the place for us.

"It's beautiful, but - " she starts sighing, whilst turning back to look out into the yard.

"Hey, talk to me" I ask her as I come up behind her and rest my hands on her shoulders.

"Four weeks ago, we hadn't spoken in 6 years, and now we are looking at houses... do you think we are moving too quickly?"

"I mean, it's been quick, but too quick?" I start, "If you feel we need to slow down, then we will, I don't want to rush you" I continue, gently turning her around in my arms and lifting her chin to look into her eyes, "but if you're asking if it is too quick for me? Then, no... I love where we are, and I love you"

She's looking at me, those big blue eyes glistening, but with a tentative smile that I'm hoping is hope, a need for reassurance.

"I know that I want to spend my life with you, and staying over at each other's places is OK if you need to slow down a bit, probably a lot of people would say that's sensible, but I want all the day to day stuff with you, not just the sex and the dates." She's really smiling now, her hands clutching my shirt whilst resting against my chest, with a tear spilling over to run down her cheek, "I want to argue with you about whose turn it is to empty the trash and do the dishes" I finish jokingly brushing the tear away with my thumb.

"It's more expensive than we had agreed" she points out

"I can cover the difference" I counter

"I don't have enough furniture to fill all of the rooms" she states, but it sounds more like a question

"I was going to have to buy some anyway" I reassure her, "we can always take a few days to think this over?"

Now she's back to looking out of the window, and I know she needs a little space, so I wait, just a few steps away - near enough to feel my presence, but far enough away to let her process everything that we have said.

"You always wanted a dog when we were younger," she says after a few minutes, "That's what I was thinking about when I was looking out here before, I'm not saying right now, I think all of this is enough for now, but in the future maybe?"