Scared of us (meradd/ meddison)

After she left

Mer POV:
It's been just two weeks since Addison has left and I finally found out how to cope with her leaving Seattle... leaving me...
It's not a conventional way and she wouldn't like it but it's the only thing that helps the pain that I am feeling right now. Anyway anytime I feel like I miss her I take a razor file and I lock the bathroom door...
*after 1 week*
I haven't eaten for like 4 days I just don't have the strength to do that. I also haven't been at work since she has left I just lay on the bathroom floor trying to imagine her beautiful face and her outstanding body.
*after a month *
I can't do it. Knowing that I won't ever see her again make me wanna die. My friends come here like everyday and try to make me eat and get out of my house, even Derek has been here. Me and Derek broke up the night Addison left I told him that I didn't love him anymore and to stay away from me. I think I may have been to cruel to him but I was broken by Addison leaving so am I forgive??
I don't know all I know is that right now I am in the bathroom with a razor file with the intention of cutting deeper than usual...

A/n.
So... this was the first chapter. I really hope you like it!! Again if you have any tips jus write them to me love you all thanks for reading bye <33