Scared of us (meradd/ meddison)

What do i do now!

Addison POV:
Meredith asked me out today and I said yes! Why did I said yes? I mean if I go to our date I will give her the power to hurt me and I don't want to... thanks to Derek I have learned that when you are in a relationship it's like the other person has a gun pointed at your head and at any moment they have the power to shoot you, I don't wanna end up with a thousand bullets in my brain again, I- I am not sure I am going out with Mer today. To help me I called Callie she used to be my friend "hi, Addison?" She answers surprised "Callie how are you doing?" I ask "you mean WHO am I doing!" She says "oh you were having sex? Like when I called you?" I asked a little confused "no! I wouldn't answer the phone! I mean she is so good... we've been seeing each other for a couple of weeks now and I am falling in love with her!" She says "oh well good for you ! Do I know her?" I ask "I honestly don't know she is the new chef of peds, Arizona Robbins" she says "I have heard of her people say she is a sunshine " I say  "oh she is, she is amazing and beautiful and god she is just perfe-" I cut her off "ok Callie I'm very interested by your relationship, I am, but I need to talk to you about something!" I say " ok! Take it out!" She says "ok... so, Meredith asked me out... and I said yes" I say "ok and than what's the problem?" Callie ask "the problem is that if I go out with her we'll end up in a relationship and the relationship is gonna end someday and unless I dye, the end is gonna hurt like hell" I say being stutter "oh... Addie you're scared! Well you...don't worry about it now, now you worry about the facts that you're about to go to dinner with the woman you love and that everything is totally great, I mean even Derek is ok with it!" She says but as she talks I remember something
OH GOD! DEREK! I forgot how do I tell Derek that I am dating his mistress?
"Yeah, right... about that..." I say "oh god Derek doesn't knows!?... well that is not bad I mean he no longer has the right to tell you who you should be dating" Callie tries to reassure me "oh but he is going to be mad! So, so so so so so so mad! And he has been so nice to us since the... accident. I-I-I-don't " I say so fast that I am not sure I would understand "ok ok ok calm down Addison... Derek is going to be ok with this... I think" Callie say

Ok fine now I have two problems 1) should or should I not go on a date with Mer? 2) how the f*ck do I tell my husband that I am dating his mistress?

A/n.
Ok I am so so so sorry I haven't updated in days I was traveling anyways this was kinda short but let me know what do you think about it <3