Scared of us (meradd/ meddison)

Never have been and hopefully never will be

Meredith POV:
Cutting made me feel better, you know I thought how can pain help pain but than I realize that the physical pain hurt less so when I cut for like a minute all I think about is the physical pain and I concentrate on that it helps, it helps you not think about the pain that's inside you the pain that you can't control and doing that makes you feel like... like your high for a second or more if you cut more than once... now I am not really sure where am I, or what I am thinking, or what my problem is and it helps so damn much!

*flash back from earlier that day*

After the on call room... episode, I went to work, well I went to Bailey, and guess who is my attending for today??

No not Addison but close... really close her boyfriend!
I mean I know he is not her boyfriend but I'll call him that because I am pissed and broken and... I want to take it out on someone! 

I went to find Addison's boyfriend while Cristina told me everything about the surgery the new cardio attending was making her do, she seams to like this one! Is a friend of Owen her new boyfriend, he... grave her to her, I guess
"Hey! Dr. Grey??" I hear an arrogant voice call me from behind "hi, can I help you?" I say as I turn around to see this hot, hot guy with his hands on his flanks and Addison standing right besides him with her head in one of her magically beautiful hands as if she was ashamed of his attitude "I suppose you're Dr. Sloan, right?" I say as I see the scene "yes I am! And you are the girl that my Addison fell for?" And here it comes oh my god could I hate him more " ok mark enough 1) you said that like I was your daughter 2) I am not yours, never was and hopefully never will be 3) why in the hell would you ask Meredith on your service?" Addison say don't even acknowledging that I was there "those are too many information! But you will be mine...eventually" Addison's boyfriend says as Addison rolled her eyes "and.. well I asked her because I wanted to meet her and know her and understand why would you prefer her... and looking at her I start to understand, oh and by the way... Grey let's go!" Mark said as his mouth was getting closer to her ear to whisper and obviously tase her "with you I'll talk later ok?" After that he kiss her cheek and leave.
God I wish I could do what he just did!!! I hate him sooooo much!!! But I am his resident and I have to follow him so I get past Addison who doesn't seam to notice me because she was too focused on her crappy hot boyfriend's ass
*at lunch time*
It was time to lunch and with mc. Steamy(how Cristina and Iz called him, after mc. Dreamy and mc. Hot of course)I didn't have any surgery so I wanted to go lunch with my friends and I was about to when... "hey Mark!" Addison enter the room not noticing me "hey Addie! I was about to come looking for you" mark said back to her "well good I was wondering if you wanted to have lunch with me so we could discuss some... things between us, ok??" Addison asked to her hateful and still admired boyfriend "that seams like a good idea! " mark said and after that He got close to her ear like he did this morning and tase-whisper again "I also have good ideas about what to do together... maybe in an on call room..." 
"Mark stop playing!" Addison said chuckling "I know I play much Addie but with you it was never a game I want you..." I continue tase-whispering as he got closer to her at every word " I... I lov-"     Addison cut him off "mark this is not the moment or the place to say that and also I don't want you to say it!" She said "why? Cause you love me back?" Mark tries to say it not saying it just like Addison said to him " that is not what I meant and you know it! And al-" Addison got cut off by a mouth on her neck HIS mouth ok I stayed in here to understand the situation but I can't stay here anymore The one with her mouth on Addison Montgomery is supposed to be ME! NOT HIM! So I get up loudly from my chair and as loud as that I walked away they didn't seam to mind loudness "Meredith! Meredith wait! Let me explain!" Addison tried to run after me "there is nothing to explain Addison you and I aren't together! Never have been and, hopefully, never will be!