I Wish I Could Save You

Chapter 27: Forever and Always

Chapter 27

Harry's POV

The tears in my eyes streamed down my face. My chest felt like it had a hundred pounds on top of it. My hands shook and I interlaced my fingers together, trying to tame them. People dressed in black surrounded me as I sat in a hard, metal chair. 

I watched as the brown, chestnut coffin was lowered into the ground. My chest tightened at the thought of Lindsay inside the coffin. She was gone. It hurt every bone in my body to think about it. I was never going to hold her in my arms again. Hear her voice again or see her sparkling blue eyes. None of it seemed real. Every second I hoped I would wake up and I would turn my head to see her sleeping in my arms... perfectly healthy. 

"We therefore commit her body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in the sure and  certain hope of the Resurrection of eternal life." The priest finished speaking and they began to lower her body into the ground. I felt a hand placed on each side of my shoulder, lightly squeezing. I looked up and saw Louis and Liam on each side of me with Zayn and Niall standing behind them. I stood up as the coffin got deeper into the ground, watching her body disappear into the darkness of the ground. My stomach churned as I could no longer see the coffin. 

...

I stood at the edge of the grave and stared down into the dark hole as people shuffled back to their cars. "I miss you, Baby." I whispered, wiping away the small tears trickling down my cheeks. "I love you." 

"Harry?" A woman's voice came from behind me. I turned around to see a petite woman with long brown wavy hair. 

"Yes?" I said, my voice scratchy and quiet. 

"I wanted to say sorry for your loss." She said. 

"Thank you." I whispered. "How did you know Lindsay?" I said as I choked down the lump in my throat. 

"She was my best friend since 7th grade." She said as she looked down at her feet. 

"You're Claire?" I questioned.

"Yeah. How'd you know?" Her brow furrowed.

"Lindsay talked about you all time. You were her best friend. So, why are you telling me sorry for my loss when I should be the one saying it to you?"

She let out a sigh. "Cause I knew Lindsay better than anyone. I had been there with her through all the ups and downs... And never in the five years that we were friends had I ever seen her love someone as much as she loved you." She paused, looking past me at the grave. "Lindsay always had one dream in life and it wasn't singing. It was to fall in love. To find that one person that made her feel special. You were that one person, Harry. Thank you for making my best friend's last days special for her." A tear fell from my eye as she turned around and walked towards a dark blue car in the parking lot. 

... 

I walked into the flat and found the boys all sitting on the couch. They all stood as soon as they realized my presence as if they were expecting me to break down in the middle of the floor. I walked past them into my room, slipping off my uncomfortable shoes and loosening the black tie from around my neck. I stared at myself in the mirror hanging on the wall. I had dark bags under my eyes from lack of sleep and my hair was a mess. I stared at the picture hanging in the corner of the mirror. It was of Lindsay and I when we were in her hotel room, fooling around. My lips pressed firmly to her cheek and her face scrutched together with a smile. I sighed and fell back onto my bed, staring up at the ceiling. 

"Harry?" Niall knocked on my door. I wanted to be alone as much as I could but I knew I couldn't avoid my best friends forever. 

"Come in." I groaned, sitting up. The door opened, revealing the normally cheeky blonde boy. He walked over to me and sat on the edge of the bed. 

"I know what has happened has been hard on you and I know all you want is to be alone, but I have something for you." He reached his hand into the inside of his blazer, pulling out a envelope. He handed it to me. 

"What's this?" I asked, staring at the envelope. 

"Flip it over" I flipped the envelope over and revealed my name written neatly in her handwriting. "It's from Lindsay. I don't know what's in it, but she asked me to give it to you after she passed." I stared down at the envelope, running my fingers over my name written in cursive. "I'll leave you alone now." He whispered, getting up from the bed. 

"Niall." He turned around. "Thank you." He nodded and walked out of the room. 

I took in a deep breath, flipping the envelope over. I ran my fingers under the envelope flap, breaking the seal. I slid the paper out, setting the envelope onto the bed. I unfolded the white, notebook paper. 

Dear Harry, 

       I gave Niall this letter to give you because I knew you wouldn't let me talk about my condition or the fact that I was dying until I was already gone, but I needed you to hear me out. 

       Being with you was the best thing that ever happened to me. YOU were the best thing that ever happened to me. We definitely had our ups and downs, but in the end, I knew you loved me. We didn't get to spend a lot of time together, but every minute was worth it. You made me feel wanted. You made me feel loved. You made me feel perfect. 

       The main reason I wrote this letter was to help you move on. I know that you blame yourself for what happened but I don't want you to because NONE of this is your fault. Now that I'm gone, I don't want you moping around over me. There's one thing that I want you to do for me. Move on. Find another girl you can call "yours". Someone who makes you smile and gives you butterflies. Someone who can love you the way I loved you. 

      You'll always be my one and only, Harry. I will always be in your heart. I love you, forever and always.

                                                                                                  Love Lindsay.

A tear slowly slid down my cheek as I slipped the letter back into the envelope, her words ringing in my mind. 

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This is the last chapter... but I am going to write an epilogue chapter! (: I can't believe this story had come this far. Thank you for reading and stay tuned for the epilogue chapter! 

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