Insatiable Habits ~Mattheo Riddle~ Book 1

Chapter 10

T.W Sexual Assault

Clarissa's POV

It had been 3 weeks since we broke up. The morning after I had woken up alone in bed but with my best girl friends beside me. I avoided talking to Mattheo and he ignored me too. Both still angry with each other. Over the days that followed, I had noticed that he was fighting a lot more again, often coming in with blood over him. A lot of the time he was high or drunk and those nights were hard with him constantly glaring at me. I never backed down though and always stood my ground. I never saw him with another girl. If any went up to him in front of me, he would completely blank them, coming across as rude. But that's how he was anyway with most people. Blaise told me that he had wiped Lavender’s mind and once I had sobered up the morning after attacking her, I did regret what I tried doing.

My task with Harry was going well. He did ask some questions about that night but I made an excuse that I had drank too much and felt sick. We spent most days together and I missed hanging around with my friends but the sooner I completed my task the sooner things could go back to normal. I wouldn't get too physical with him, only ever a quick peck on the lips or cheek and I knew that frustrated him but I couldn't bring myself to go further than that.

It was Friday, the last day of school before the Christmas holidays and the day of the talent show. Harry and I were sitting under a tree in the grounds reading through our Divination texts books.

'I'm never going to understand this' I huffed, slamming the book closed and placing it on the blanket that we were sitting on.

'It's a load of shit anyway, Hermione quit the class a couple of years ago' Harry laughed, closing his book too. I felt a familiar wave of warmth wash over me. My heart skipped a beat remembering the feeling well and looked down at my arm. Through the sleeve of my jumper, I saw the moon starting to glow. I quickly threw my hand over it, hoping that Harry hadn't noticed. Even though I didn't want to go, I knew Mattheo wouldn't want me for no real reason.

'Harry, I should probably get back and start preparing for tonight with the girls' I started to get up and so did he.

'I'll walk you back' He smiled

'No, it's fine, Ron will be here soon. I'll see you at the after party' I kissed him lightly on the cheek and turned to walk away.

'Save me a dance' He shouted after me. I carried on walking towards the castle and in to the entrance hall.

'Clarissa!' Mattheo was standing near the stair case that led to the dungeons, he looked annoyed but still hot as fuck. 'I've been looking for you everywhere.'

'I was studying'

'Oh, that's what we are calling it now.' he glared at me. I rolled my eyes and walked over to him. I felt sick just looking at him, but only because of how he still made me feel. I was still hurting but still yearning for him.

'What do you want Mattheo?' I let out an exasperated sigh.

'My father wants to meet with us' He grabbed hold of my arm before I could say anything, apperating us both to Riddle Manor. As soon as we were standing out side the drawing room I pulled my arm roughly away from him. He didn't look at me, just stormed in to the room and sat in his usual seat. I walked slowly in behind him and saw Voldemort pacing the room.

'Ahh Clarissa' He smiled, spotting me walking in. 'Just a quick check up to see how the task is going. I understand you have a little show to attend tonight'

'Yes sir. Everything is going according to plan. Potter has really started liking me' I looked down not wanted to show either of them how much pain I was in doing this task.

'Ahh, that is good news. I want weekly updates from now on.' He gave me a toothy grin and I couldn't help but think how handsome he was.

'Of course, sir' I nodded. 'May I please be excused now?' He waved his hand dismissing me then started talking to Mattheo about a ball that I hadn't heard off. I walked out the room shutting the door and breathed in and out deeply, trying to stop myself from crying. The door opened again.

'Clarissa wait!' Mattheo stood in front of me. He was close. Close enough for me to feel the heat of his body. My stomach started to knot as I looked up in to his brown eyes. He was staring down at me. 'You can't get home with out me.' He softly gripped my arm and apperated us in to our common room. We stood there for a second, in silence, looking in to each others eyes. I felt mine drift down to his lips and back up. He noticed and smirked. It was getting too much. 

'I better get ready' I took a step back and he put his head down.

'Uhh yeah, good luck tonight'

'Are you not coming to watch?' I quickly asked. He shook his head and sat on the sofa, getting out a cigarette. I felt a pang of disappointment.

'Oh, ok then' I walked in to my dorm, not looking back at him. Darcy and Pansy were already in there, getting ready for out performance. They were dressed in their outfits; we had chosen to dress in matching peter pan style dress with long socks. Perfect for the song that we were about to sing.

'Hey girly, yours is on the bed.' Darcy pointed over at my dress laying on my bed then carried on applying her make up. I walked over and started getting undressed. Pulling on the dress Pansy came up behind me, giving me a quick hug. I smiled at her but I knew she could see through it.

'Right, spill!?' She sat on the bed and pulled me beside her, Darcy sat across from us on her bed. I told them about going with Mattheo to see Voldemort and the moment after. Could I even call it a moment? It was probably my wishful thinking.

'Clary, we are your best friends and we love you but-'

'You are fucking stupid' Pansy finished Darcy's sentence.

'What? why?' I frowned at them both.

'You know deep down Mattheo was telling the truth about Lavender, that boy loves you and he would never go with any other girl.' Darcy took hold of my hands, looking in to my eyes.

'But you are both just so stubborn that you wont talk and sort it out' Pansy scolded me, then smiled. 'Girl, you need to tell him how you feel'

'It's not that easy' I shook my head. 'I still have all this Harry shit to deal with and that's not fair on Mattheo'

'But all this is also not fair on you. And to be honest, we are getting fed up of you crying yourself to sleep' Darcy laughed.

'Now finish getting ready. You are speaking to him tonight after the party, so no drink for you or it will probably end in murder' Pansy dragged me off the bed and started brushing my hair through. I loved my friends and they were right, I had to talk to him. Even if he didn't want me anymore, I had to tell him I was sorry.

Mattheo's POV

I watched as she walked away, wanting her to turn back around but she didn't. The common room door opened and Draco, Blaise and Reid walked in.

'Was that Clary we just heard' Reid asked and I ignored him, turning away. 'You two talking again?'

'Course they int, look at his face' Blaise laughed. I shot him a look to shut him up then carried on smoking. They sat down around me still talking but I wasn't taking notice. I couldn't get her out my head, like every other fucking day.

'Mattheo, you coming to the show?' Draco asked, drawing my attention back.

'No'

'Mate, please just talk to her' he sighed.

'She doesn’t want to talk to me so fuck her' I shrugged

'Can we be blunt with out the risk of you killing one of us' Blaise asked half jokingly. I couldn't help but smirk at the question and nodded.

'When you were with Clary, not together because that didn't fucking last long' I shot him a warning look, feeling my blood start to boil at the comment and he held up his hands as an apology. 'Hear me out. When you were with her and you were getting along, we had never seen you like that. You was like a whole knew friend to us all. You were comfortable, she bought out a new side to you that we all liked. Obviously, we like your cunt side, you're our best mate. But she made you a better man dare I say it.'

Draco and Reid nodded in agreement as I just sat and listened. He was right, she did bring out another side of me. The girl tested my patience to the extreme but she made me laugh and as a group we had a lot of fun.

'These last three weeks you have gone back to cunt mode and we want the fun Mattheo back.' He continued. 'So as your friends we demand that you talk to her and say sorry'

'What the fuck, why do I need to say sorry?' I glared at him, feeling my anger rise again.

'You we all over Lavender that night in front of her, then actually kissed her... Then had her in you're room' Reid chirped in.

'So, she can flirt with Potter and be all over him but when I do it, I'm the arsehole.' I took out another cigarette and lit it up getting frustrated.

'Hey we know. Bitches be tripping, but listen' Blaise shot a stern look at Reid, causing him to sit back and shut up. 'She is doing a task that she really doesn’t want to do, Darcy has already told me, she feels physically sick having to do it. To flirt with a man that she doesn't want to be near, making him fall for her in front of the man she truly loves'

'She loves me?' That got my attention

'Hey, hey! Don't get sidetracked.' He pointed in my face but I knew I was smiling at what he just said and I couldn't stop myself. 'She didn't want to hurt you but then suddenly see's you all over this other girl. Yeh, you have to act like there is nothing going on between you both but the way she probably saw it was that you were punishing her for the task that your father set. Get what I'm saying?'

'I've fucked up completely' I put my head in my hands. There must be a way that I could fix this. I loved her and I needed to know if she still loved me, or she ever did.

'We are going to the talent show, we are supporting the girls and then after the party tonight you can talk to her' Draco said.

'So, no drinking because if you get drunk you may just kill her' Reid laughed and I laughed back.

'Don't stop you having a blunt though... that mellows you out' Draco pulled out two rollies from his jacket pocket and winked at me. We stood up and walked out the common room, heading towards the hall to see what the girls had planned to perform.

We sat down at our table. The usual long tables had been replaced with smaller round ones. I caught sight of Harry sitting closer to the front with his mates. The lights went low and the contestants started doing their performances. A few were quite good, performing spells that were quite complicated. A 6th year got seriously injured while doing a spell with knifes, causing Reid and Draco to howl with laughter. I was amused at how funny they were finding and had to look away to stop myself from laughing. It was time for the girls to go on. The last act. The stage was dark and no one could see anything. Music started playing and then singing. The lights come on and the three girls were standing on the stage singing a song that I weirdly knew. Black Magic by a muggle band called Lil Mix. And they were good.

'Did you know about this?' Draco leaned across to ask me and I shook my head, actually shocked.

'Did you know they could sing?' Reid shouted over the music and I shook my head again, so did Draco. I looked around and everyone was transfixed. No one had thought about doing something like this before, they were all loving it. I looked back up at the stage, at Clarissa singing. She looked stunning and the happiest I'd seen her in a while. Her smile was infectious and I found myself smiling too. She spotted me sitting there and for a second her smile faded but then came back. Hearing her sing on her own was beautiful, her voice was amazing.

Take a sip of my secret potion
I'll make you fall in love
For a spell that can't be broken
One drop should be enough
Boy you belong to me
I got the recipe
And it's called Black Magic

Confetti started firing all over the hall and glitter filled the charmed ceiling. The girls really went all out with this. The song finished and the hall erupted with applause. The girls bowed then left the stage.

'That's my girlfriend' Potter shouted over the cheers, receiving claps on the back from his mates. I glared at him. I think I actually hated him more that my father did.

Once everything had calmed down, we made our way down to the Slytherin common room. Reid and Blaise prepared for the party while Draco and I rolled up some more blunts ready to smoke for when the party was over. Everyone started turning up soon after and the party had started.

'Do you think I can persuade the girls to sing?' Blaise asked no one in particular as we sat, them drinking and me smoking. I didn't take much notice as was staring at Potter. He was drinking and laughing with the ginger and Neville. I didn't mind Neville; he grew good weed.

'Ask them, they are now coming' Reid nodded over to behind me. I turned my head to see Darcy and Pansy walking towards us. They had changed out of their outfits in to something dressier. Clarissa wasn't with them. I turned my attention back to Potter and instantly felt annoyed at seeing her with them. She had changed in to a short satin black dress and her hair was now tied back with her signature black ribbon. Of course, she looked stunning, she always did. She noticed me looking and smiled at me. I smiled back. Potter noticed too and glared at me before trying to pull her closer to him. She spun out of his grip and grabbed a drink of the side, laughing, but still stood there talking to them.

'Mattheo, are you even listening?' Darcy was trying to get my attention. I turned my gaze to her and realized they were all looking at me.

'What?'

'Nothing, just please don't drink too much and start arguing with Clary.' She shook her head at me and I rolled my eyes. I looked back at Clarissa and Potter but she was now gone.

'Pour me a proper drink please Reid' I heard her sweet voice behind me, I didn't turn to her though. Reid poured some fire whisky in to a cup and passed it to her.

'Now we have all three of you together, fancy singing us a song girls?' Blaise asked hopeful.

'No way, we may have won the talent contest but that is the end of singing for me' Pansy laughed.

'Clary will do it' Darcy raised her cup to Clarissa and I turned to see her blushing lightly.

'Not on my own' She smiled and walked past me to sit next to Reid. He pulled her in for a cuddle and seeing it didn't bother me as much anymore. I had come to terms that even though he was in love with her, he wanted her friendship more and I knew that was as far as it would go. They were best friends.

'Just one song and I wont ask ever again' Blaise pleaded. She sat there thinking about it for a moment then rolled her eyes. If she was still mine, I would be punishing her for that and I smiled to myself.

'One song' She agreed smirking at him.

'Yes!' Blaise shot up and ran to the other side of the room. 'Bitches and wizards, Clary has agreed to sing one song for us tonight' He pointed over at Clarissa and she laughed, rolling her eyes again but got up and walked over to him. I saw them talk for a few minutes, probably about the song she was going to sing. He handed her a microphone and started walking back to us, giving me a little wink. I looked at him confused then looked at her. She was looking at everyone one who had just stopped dancing, shuffling her feet a bit, obviously nervous. The music started and she began singing. Her voice was amazing. Everyone cheered straight away then began dancing. I leant forward on my chair, transfixed to her. I caught her eye and she grinned at me.

So baby, come light me up
And maybe I'll let you on it
A little bit dangerous
But baby, that's how I want it
A little less conversation and
A little more touch my body
'Cause I'm so into you

She was starting to relax more as she sang, dancing and enjoying herself. She looked at me again and winked causing me to grin at her. After this I was going to find her and we were going to talk, I wasn't waiting for the end of the night.

Got everyone watchin' us
So baby, let's keep it secret
A little bit scandalous
But baby, don't let them see it
A little less conversation and
A little more touch my body
'Cause I'm so into you

The song finished and everyone crowded round her, praising her. She kept glancing over at me though. Harry picked her up and spun her around, I felt the pang of jealousy but as he leaned in to kiss her, she turned her head, making him kiss her cheek. When he pulled away, he looked over at me and I smirked at him. He quickly turned back to his friends as more people started talking to Clarissa. I watched as she slipped away and walked towards the common room door. She walked out and I stood up.

'I'll be back soon' I said to my friends.

Clarissa's POV

I walked up the hall from the common room and round the corner heading towards the potion’s classroom. I just needed to get away for a bit and I knew no one would think to find me there. The class room door was unlocked thankfully and I quietly shut the door behind me as I entered. I just needed to be away from him. I couldn't bare him touching me, especially in front of Mattheo. I pulled out my want and muttered a spell to light a few of the candles then walked up to the desk and jumped up on to it, sitting with my legs gently swinging of the side. I regretted not bringing a jacket or something with me, it was freezing with no heat source anywhere. I didn't want to go back for a while though.

I heard the door open and quickly looked up, hoping it wasn't Harry or a professor but it wasn't. It was Mattheo. He shut the door behind him and slowly walked towards me. I stayed where I was.

'Clarissa, can we talk please?' His voice was soft but desperate. I nodded and he got closer so he was standing in front of me. 'I'm sorry'

'No, I'm sorry' I shook my head at him. 'I over reacted and I shouldn’t have'

'None of this was your fault. And if I wasn't such a dick, we would have spoken about it when you had sobered up' He looked down breaking our eye contact.

'Mattheo, I-'

'No listen' He looked up at me again. 'When you said it was over it felt like you threw a knife right here' He placed his hand on his heart and my heart sank. 'I love you so much that when you said that I felt like I couldn't breath. I shouldn't have waited so long to talk to you again. I was stupid and I'm sorry for that too.'

'You love me?' I asked quietly. He smiled.

'I love you.' He stepped closer, between my legs and placed both his arms either side of me, leaning against the table. His face was closer to mine and I could feel the tension between us.

'I love you. I always have loved you' His eyes lit up as the words came from my mouth. Looking down at my lips, his hand lifted my chin up. I leant forward about to kiss him but he moved his head back slightly.

'I'm not going to touch you till you say I can Clarissa' I rolled my eyes and pulled him to me by his top, crashing my lips against his. He kissed me back straight away with no hesitation. I wrapped my thighs around his waist pulling him even closer to me. His kiss got deeper as his hands found there way down to my waist then to my thighs. The feeling of him touching my bare skin under my dress was everything that I had been craving. I started undoing the buckle of his belt as his hand traveled further up my dress then pulled at the waist band of my underwear. He was hard already as I started pulling his trousers down and I wanted to feel him inside of me. He stepped back, pulling my pants down with him then gave me a smile that sent electricity through me. Lifting me with one arm, he swept everything of the desk on to the floor and laid me on it. He leaned over me, kissing and nipping at my neck and I let out a moan as his fingers ran up my inner thigh towards my already pulsing clit. He started circling around it and smiled in to my neck when he felt how wet I already was.

'I've missed this' He muttered

'mhm' I moaned and then gasped as two fingers entered me 'Oh fuck' I dug my nails in to his back as he increased his speed, hitting my g-spot repeatedly. 'Matt- Oh' I felt my stomach tighten as I got nearer to my orgasm. He pulled his fingers out and I felt the build up ease. He wiggled his hips a bit, releasing him self from his boxers and lined himself up to me. Kissing me softly, he pushed the tip in and I gasped in to his mouth. He pushed in further but slowly, letting me get used to him again. He groaned once he was fully in and I gripped my hands behind his neck as he slowly started pumping. I kissed him and he kissed me back. I have never wanted someone as much as I want him. He consumed me totally. He gradually got faster and I could feel the build up in my stomach rising again. He had one arm around my waist, holding me to him as he rolled his hips. His other hand was behind my head, protecting it from the hard desk. I loved this man with everything I had.

'Fuck I love you' He breathed in to my ear.

'I love you too' He kissed me again and thrust in to me fast and harder. My moans got louder as I felt my self clench around him. He moaned out too, releasing himself in to me and carried on going through our high. Once we were both finished, he leant down and kissed me softly.

'I'm never letting you go again'

I took his face in my hands and kissed him softly back. He pulled out of me and stood up, pulling his boxers and trousers back up. I swung my legs around and looked at all the stuff on the floor.

'Umm should we pick it up?'

'Na gives Snape something to complain about' he smiled and helped me down from the desk. My legs felt a little shaky but I could walk. He passed me my underwear smirking and I slipped them on silently.

'Mattheo?'

'hmm' He was doing up his belt buckle

'I still have a task to do' I said nervously.

'You have to ruin the moment don't you' He smirked at me and I chuckled, happy that he wasn't going to get mad but it was something we need to sort out. He sighed and cupped my cheeks in his hands. 'We will think of ways around it' he kissed my forehead 'But you will be staying in my room from now on so sort out your clothes'

'Oh, will I now?' I teased.

'If he has to have you during the day, I get you during the night' He grinned down at me and kissed me again. I kissed him back. He was being really calm about this situation and it made it a bit easier.

'You need to go back to the party, people will be asking questions.' I pushed him away from me and he gave me a fake wounded look making me chuckle.

'Ok, but give me 5minutes. If you come in straight after me, they will definitely start talking... Especially with your hair like that' He pointed at my hair playfully and I scoffed trying to flatten it a bit. Playful Mattheo was my favorite. He gave me a wink and walked out the door. I waited for a couple of minutes and realized that my black ribbon was missing. I quickly spun round to look for it. Last thing I wanted was for Snape to find it then know who had messed up his desk. He wouldn't know what really happened on his desk though I smiled to my self. I heard the door open behind me.

'Forget something?' I turned around grinning, expecting to see Mattheo but instead I saw Harry. He shut he door behind him and I heard him mutter a locking spell. 'Harry, sorry I left, I just wanted a little fresh air.'

'In a dungeon class room?' He turned to face me, raising his eyebrows. He had a good point, there was no fresh air in here.

'Yeh I-'

'Don't bother Clary, I heard you and Riddle' He started walking towards me and I took a step back, hitting the desk.

'What are you going on about?'

'Don't play dumb. I followed him when he walked out after you.' He was now in front of me. 'I watched as he came in here and I was going to follow till I heard your voice. I heard your moans Clary.' He put a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

'Harry stop' I pushed his hand away and he brought it back up, smacking me round the side of the face with the back of it. I fell to the floor, shocked that he had just hit me. I could taste blood and wiped the side of my mouth with my wrist and see red. Harry stood over me staring then knelt down, pinning me to the floor.

'Harry please, I'm sorry.' I tried to wriggle him off but he was too strong. He pinned my hands down, getting closer to my face.

'If you want to act like a slut, I will treat you like one.' He snarled in my ear. I felt one hand go lower as the other stayed holding my wrists in place. I couldn't move as tears silently fell down my face.

'Harry, STOP!' I screamed but he didn't listen as his hand reached my underwear. I heard banging on the door but that didn't stop him. He started pulling at them till they ripped off. 'Please get off' I cried. There was shouting outside the room but they couldn't get in. He was going to rape me and there was nothing anyone could do to help me. I was begging him to get off me as he roughly undone his trousers. I found the strength to move my hips, trying to buck him off but it resulted in his fist colliding with my cheek. It was a hard blow and I felt dazed as his fingers roughly found my entrance and rammed in to me. I felt sick as he pumped them in and out of me. Crying out for him to stop wasn't working and I was ready to give up. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see his face. Something was building up inside of me, I could feel it getting stronger. A white light unexpectedly filled the room, causing Harry to fly backwards off me. He laid away from me unconscious. I heard the door open but I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore. I slipped out of consciousness too.