Psycho Series #1: Chasing His Obsession

Chapter 4

My alarm clock banging my ears, I irritately open my eyes and eyed the alarm clock on the side table, i harshly pushed the clock so it ended at the floor and still on.

"Fuck you alarm!" I irritately mouthed as I stood up on my bed

Yumukod ako para makuha 'yon at pinatay na, padabog na nilapag sa lamesa.

Napatakip ako ng bibig no'ng humikab ako, kasunod ng paginat ng braso. Habang abala sa pagiinat, nilibot ko ang paningin sa paligid ng kwarto.

Wait...

I clearly remember that my room is really dirty and wreck due to me, but why is it like this, like nothing happened?!

Nagising ang diwa ko no'ng naalala si Lawson, nandito nga pala siya kagabi. So, siya ang naglinis ng kwarto ko? Pero bakit? Ang pakielamero niya naman.

A slowly knock on my door stop me to get more puzzle to Lawson.

"Ma'am Savannah," umismid ako no'ng kasambahay lang pala namin. Inabot ko ang round mirror sa side table, hinaplos ang pisnging sinampal ni dad kahapon. Napangiwi ako. "Nakahanda na po ang breakfast niyo, bumaba na po kayo."

I got double slap to two people I used to loved, I used to cared of.

I heavy sighed before getting up. Nilapag ko ulit ang round mirror sa lamesa at tyaka lang binuksan ang pinto ng kwarto, wala na do'n ang kasambahay namin paniguradong nakababa na.

Pagkapasok ko sa kusina, nakahanda na ang almusal na para sa'kin lamang. Malamang, nasa ospital nanaman ang magulang ko. Nakakatawa nga sila eh, bihira ko na nga lang sila makasalubong o makausap dito sa bahay namin, masasakit na salita pa matatanggap ko, nasampal pa nga.

Hindi kapa ba nasanay?

I laughed with my thoughts as I sitted on my chair. I saw the maid startled when she heard me laugh, she panicked when I gave her a bitch look, she rushingly get out.

I glance at my parent's usual chair, it's empty. There's no one here to be with me, no one cares for me.

I thought if you love them really hard as you love yourself, you'll receive the same loving from them but I received the opposite of it.

Instead of loving me; they hated me.
Instead of taking care of me,  they abused me.
Instead of supporting me with my dream; their both ears and eyes is close and pursue me to be like them.

Too much pain for a girl like me, to a girl who's weak inside and keep pretending tough outside.

Ano bang nagawa kong kasalanan para maranasan ko 'to? Bakit mo 'ko sinusubukan ng todo? Bakit?

...

Mabilis kong sinarado ang pinto ng kwarto ko at wala sa sariling napasandal sa pinto. Sinapo ko ang bibig at hinayaan ang sariling umiyak, walang ingay gaya ng ginagawa.

I harshly wipped my tears but as I wipped it's still flowing down. "Stop falling into my eyes! I'm a strong girl! Strong girl doesn't cry!" Pagpapangaral sa sarili pero nagunahan pa din ang luha ko na maglandas sa pisngi

Umupo ako sa sahig at sinandal ang likuran sa pinto, humihikbing niyapos ang magkabilang hita at sinubsob ang mukha sa hita at mas lalong naiyak.

"Cry out loud."

Natinag ako sa pwesto ko at mabilis na napaangat tingin. I gasped when his face is too close from me, his sitting like I sitted. I almost slap his face for being here again but I stop myself for realizing something.