If the world wasn't ending || LeviHan

》Chapter 23《

Point of time; the end of the rumbling, Eren's last goodbye.

PoV: Mikasa

"You are the only one left who can kill Eren!"

The sentence kept ringing inside of my head. It was like a sweet melody of damnation which shattered my heart into more singular pieces than it already was.
Eren was all I had left besides Armin. After all this years, I couldn't have imagined that some day, some way, it would be my task to end his life in the middle of a war he himself had started.
I could take a step back this way and imagine a future in which I felt good, the future Eren showed me in whatever way he was able to do so, one where I felt happy and loved.
But.. it would have been selfish.
Maybe I didn't deserve happiness in that kind, or this was what I deserved. Who even knows any longer at this point..?

I took a deep breath as the grip around my sword handles tightened. I wanted to shout, have a tantrum and beat my hands on the ground like a toddler. I wanted to vent, let it out, but I didn't want to say these words out. It would be hurtful to me and my surroundings. It was just so easy to be cruel in that moment and then the damage would be done. So many times I've wanted to say things but kept quiet.
'Silence is a virtue', my mom used to tell me. But in my case, it was what destroyed me in the end. What caused my yearning for an explanation, for the life that slipped through my fingers so loosely.

"Throw this scarf out, once I'm dead." The echos kept repeating itself as I stepped forward, starting to charge for my target with my mind going blank besides the sentences I heard over and over again within myself.
"You have a long life ahead of you, so forget about me. Be free.." Tears welled up in my eyes, in an attempt of blinking them away I almost crashed against one of the titans, struggling to focus.

"Forget about me."

The mouth got finally blown open, leaving my way to Eren free in a clear path. Now it was only a matter of time until..
Our eyes met as I held my swords up high to behead Eren, a weak smile upon his lips as if he was apologizing, resulting in desperation coming up inside of me. I didn't want it to end this way.
Perhaps now was the time to realize it wasn't me I was supposed to get out, it was him. And so I let myself become accustomed to the darkness he has dwelled in these many years and see that intermingled with the marks of invisible blood that was glued onto all our hands. I'd get him out, if it was the last thing I'd ever do, I would. For the freedom he sought for.
Because that's how I knew I could love like I was born to, that I could put another one first even when my feelings screamed at me in agony.
For I was never truly empty, when I spent all my time chasing after Eren without realizing he was doing this for everyone.
This is how I knew who I was, and so even this despairing pain could I see it was the right thing to do.
For him.

"See you later.. Eren." With that words, I hit the sword down and it cut his head off cleanly. Managing to catch it with my arms, the first tears started to run down my cheeks.

To the boy who sought freedom.. goodbye.